Social Question

leftt's avatar

Should I tell this guy I like him?

Asked by leftt (92points) June 29th, 2011

I’m in love with my good friend’s brother. Everything about him makes me smile, and all his quirks I find rather adorable. He can play gorgeous piano, which is one thing I love most, and when he plays my favorite song for me my heart beats really fast. I think about him all the time, too. The only thing is he’s a year older than me, I don’t know any of his friends, nor if he likes someone else, and I if I actually do end up being with him it’ll be extremely awkward for my friend (who is a boy, btw).

What should I do?

We have a good friend-relationship going; we talk on the phone quite often and for hours at a time, we share a lot of common interests (nerdy things, mind you), I go to their house a lot and we sit inside and play video games or go play in the park, he offers to teach me piano a lot (which I do sometimes), we’ve gone to movies and the mall before (with a group of people, but we usually ended up talking the entire time anyways), and, if I see it correctly, is rather flirtish with me. Which I could read wrong—I don’t know any of his friends/have not seen him interact with them so I don’t know if he treats me special or not. (I don’t know any of his friends because I was in middle school before summer this year while he was a first year in high school. We’ll be going to the dame high school next year though.) Also, I don’t know how to explain it, but I can tell that he cares and thinks about my responses, if that makes sense. Like, if my phone dies during a conversation, the next day he’ll text me “what happened yesterday? :( I was just getting to the good part of my story :P” or something like that.

I feel like I should tell him how I feel. But I’m a complete romantic. I can totally imagine me admitting my valiant love for him while watching the sunset and having my first kiss right then and there. Ha. But still, I have levelheadedness, so I know that it won’t be like that. It’ll probably be extremely awkward if it even happens at all.

I remember at my 8th grade graduation, he told me he’d be going (because his brother is my grade), and I was so anxious to see him there. The entire time I was basically looking around the audotorium to see him, but I couldn’t find him. I couldn’t find him afterwards either, and I was so bummed. But afterwards and called me to apologize that he couldn’t tap my shoulder in time before I left, which made me feel so much better. When he does things like that, I can’t help but just smile so hard my cheeks hurt and want to say “I love you” over the phone.

Do you think I should tell him? I just feel like it’s been a very long time, and I’m still really in love with him, so it’s just a crush like I had previously thought. And also the fact that he might get together with someone else while I’m doting makes me even more edgy. (it’s happened to me before, too.)

Thanks for taking your time to read my very long and complicated post. I hope that my grammar wasn’t too off, and that you can give me some good replies! :)

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26 Answers

Jellie's avatar

If your friend doesn’t mind: GO FOR IT.

leftt's avatar

@sarahhhhh I know I should, and I shouldn’t let a chance like this go to waste, but I’m very much afraid of our relationship not being the same as it used to be. I don’t want to lose our friendship. I love it.

leftt's avatar

@sarahhhhh and I forgot to put “if he doesn’t like me back” in there. I’m getting ahead of myself.

jrpowell's avatar

I try to stay out relationship questions. But you write better than a lot of people here (myself included). You sound smart so I would just do what you think is right.

And you have to remember that someone always has to roll the dice first. I’m a guy and it sucks to always be the one that has to deal with rejection.

Jellie's avatar

You guys are young and adorable. I don’t think it can end very badly. You are the best judge of this but if he is spending so much time on you and giving you that amount of attention, he must feel somethng for you. Probably is too scared to act on those feelings cause you’re his little brother’s friend.

Also, how much longer can you stay friends with him with those feelings? Do you think they can disappear?

leftt's avatar

@johnpowell Thank you :) I try to keep my txt chats tucked away for actual texts. But although I may sound intelligent online, I’m really just a huge awkward person in real life. Man, I wouldn’t be able to stand rejection. The thing I really want to know is how to tell him.

leftt's avatar

@sarahhhhh I never really thought of the fact that he doesn’t want to say anything because of my friend. That actually makes… a lot of sense.
And I’ve stood over 6 months with these feelings. But to tell the truth, they’ve been fading a tad lately. I guess it’s because I’ve been spending a lot of time with him, opposed to when I almost never saw him and he was all I thought about.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say.

jrpowell's avatar

This might sound bad but 99% of the time it is true. You will not marry this guy so if things go to shit everything will be OK.

manolla's avatar

Yeahh I think that you should let him know because it sounds like he is interested in you too, so just go for it, you have nothing to lose.

leftt's avatar

@johnpowell Oh, don’t worry, I know that :) But another factor is that I live on a small island, which has a very close knit community. So if things go to shit, basically everyone will know.

Jellie's avatar

Exactly what @johnpowell said except I couldn’t say it. In the grand scheme of things, this relationship will only be a happy memory. But I understand it’s important for you now so do what makes you happy.

leftt's avatar

@sarahhhhh You’re completely right. In the whole scheme of things it’s just a little hitch in my life, let alone the fact that I’m young and all. But I don’t know, the whole idea of telling him I like him is just…scary

Hibernate's avatar

If you do not like rejection you’d better ask him using a lot of questions .

But you need to be prepared for rejection , nobody is liked by everyone surrounding him .

But keep in mind that what makes you happy now could turn around 180 degrees later [ just be careful ] .

FutureMemory's avatar

Have you asked this question before? For some reason the following sounds very familiar:

He can play gorgeous piano, which is one thing I love most, and when he plays my favorite song for me my heart beats really fast

marinelife's avatar

Go ahead and tell him, but be prepared for the fallout if he doesn’t see you the same way. It will affect your friendship and could affect your friendship with his brother.

Cruiser's avatar

Why doesn’t he ask you out?? What’s the matter with him??

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I think you should just ask him out already! :)

WasCy's avatar

He already knows that you like him. You already know that he knows, too. Just enjoy your time with him.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Sounds sweet to me. Definitely tell him. Love is worth the risk of rejection.

Kardamom's avatar

It sounds like he already likes you quite a lot. He may be too shy to ask you out. I would take the risk and say, “I think you and me should go out on a proper date. Have you ever thought about dating me?” and see what he says.

Are you concerned that his brother might have a crush on you?

Any time you take a risk with love and relationships, by actually attempting to move into one, you take the risk that you will be rejected, but if you don’t ever take that risk, you will never get the chance to actually be in a relationship.

You have the advantage (that a lot of our young questioners do not have) of knowing that this young man actually likes you and knows who you are and seems to enjoy spending time with you, and he’s actually considered your feelings, like with the graduation ceremony. He sounds wonderful. If you get together with him, and his brother does have some type of romantic feelings for you, try to be very gentle and sweet and say something like, “I really like you too, Rob, but lately I’ve been feeling something more like romance toward your brother Jeff and I’d like to explore that. I hope I have your blessing.” Good luck to you : )

athenasgriffin's avatar

Yes, you should. The whole description of your relationship made my romantic side giggle. In a happy way.

BeccaBoo's avatar

Awww, you have got to tell him, you don’t want it to be the “what if…..” in a few years?

leftt's avatar

…today, I told him because I really felt like I had to, and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. After about ten minutes of trying to get over myself I told him I really liked him a lot, which he responded, ‘oh really? Cool, I really like you too.’ Then I used the term ‘crush’ and he gave me the whole ‘you’re really nice, and I like you and you’re cute, but I’m just not into that way’ bit. I just don’t get it. I dropped so many hints and even his brother (my friend) knew. Is he just that stupid? Or oblivious? Man, I feel so heartbroken it hurts physically. As soon as he said I’m a good friend I felt like my heart dropped into my stomach. I told him not to let this change anything, but I know that I cant go back to normal anymore. Thanks to everyone who answered, but I guess it’s not what anyone thought.

Kardamom's avatar

@leftt I’m so sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, the only way anyone can ever know for sure if the other person feels the same way about them is to put it on the line like you did. Hopefully this fellow has enough sense and common decency not to run from you now that he knows. Just play it cool, try to get back to some semblance or normality. If he says anything, like he tries to ask you how you are doing. Just say something like, “Hey, I gave it a shot, but since you don’t feel the same way, that’s OK. We’re good right?” Again, so sorry. Hope you feel better soon. I’m sending you a virtual carton of ice cream. : )

Jellie's avatar

@leftt I’m sorry :(


likipie's avatar

Absolutely. If you really like him that much, there’s no reason you shouldn’t tell him. My friend told me once that if you really like someone, you should never feel ashamed or embarrassed to tell them, or anyone else for that matter.

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