General Question

acebamboo77's avatar

Anyone got a male decoder?

Asked by acebamboo77 (717points) April 28th, 2008

I don’t know if I am reading to much into things or if theres really something hes trying to tell me…so are the following subtle hints or nothing?

Late night drunk dials
Late night calls to talk
Telling me he misses me
Joking about ending up married
Offering to give me a massage
Sleepovers

So guys, what do you think?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

86 Answers

jrpowell's avatar

It sounds like he likes you.

delirium's avatar

Babe, those ain’t subtle…

Zaku's avatar

Idea: Let him give you that massage.

acebamboo77's avatar

@ delirium- i know, thats what a friend said too but i have a terrible habit of dismissing things like that to protect myself AND because he ended a 5 month relationship over a month ago and told me he doesnt want another relationship for a long while….
so im confused. and im the type of person thats not really good at growing the nads to open up and say something

PupnTaco's avatar

In that case he’s trying to have it both ways. Tell him to bug off unless you want to take his advances for what they are – plain ordinary horny.

acebamboo77's avatar

@ pupntaco – i am reluctant to believe that, only because its not like him to be like that, especially after a friendship of almost 10 years…
and i know what a horny guy acts like and either this ones got a completely different technique than anyone ive ever met overall, or hes not just trying to get some ass

PupnTaco's avatar

Hmm. He doesn’t want a serious relationship, broke it off, then gets drunk and tells you he misses you? Sounds like maybe he’s not ready for these serious, committed emotions. Are you?

acebamboo77's avatar

ha, no…. thats not how it goes.
he was dumped… when he gets drunk and phones its to call and see what i did, and to tell me some random shit that he thinks i should know ie: that im a good bag of french fries. He does tell me he misses me when he drinks, but he tells me just as often sober.
Hung out yesterday and we were chilling on the couch just talking and venting and he kinda just stopped in the middle of the convo and commented on how much he missed nights that that and how its great to finally have me home….

PupnTaco's avatar

<—confused :{

peedub's avatar

Nice ‘confused’ harpoon!

acebamboo77's avatar

sorry pupntaco….
you can probably see why i am so confused.
the “i dont want a relationship” comment has me thinking im reading into everything and its nothing, but theres just too many lil things that all add up and make me feel like there is something else…

PupnTaco's avatar

Based on the behavior alone, the guy wants something. Whether the two of you are ready for it is another question. :)

acebamboo77's avatar

yea, thats one of the small factors thats holding me back from saying anything, aside from fear. I’m only home until august and then will be heading back to school which is 6 hours away by car. I don’t want to rush and push things only to have them fall apart because we werent ready for it, let alone a long distance relationship.

Zaku's avatar

Are you clear what you’re trying to figure out?

acebamboo77's avatar

@zaku i wanted to figure out if im crazy or if hes actually into me….
that was the questions main purpose.. the topic has just sort of evolved with discussion…

bulbatron9's avatar

Have you ever seen Booty Call?

Zaku's avatar

He’s into you as a friend. Presumably would tumble with you but “doesn’t want another relationship for a long while” includes you.

wildflower's avatar

Sounds to me like he’s ‘in to you’ alright…....but not necessarily in a long-term-committed-relationship kind of way.
My advice, be clear on what you want, if it matches up with what he wants (you may need to ask him to clarify)......voila!

psyla's avatar

Johnny Astrology here needs both birthdates. Free horoscope. Answers all questions. Reads palms, doesn’t use google and no I’m not kidding. When’s your birthday?

bulbatron9's avatar

Johnny Astrology! That’s good! Whoever gave you that name is awesome!

wink, wink, nudge, nudge, look at the stars!

Trustinglife's avatar

yes, what do you want?

psyla's avatar

Yes, I’ve had my JD & MGD and I’m ready to help this woman.

psyla's avatar

Damn, that didn’t sound too good, considering the drunken phone calls…

peedub's avatar

JD as in Juris Doctor, or Jack Daniels,?

bulbatron9's avatar

Old No. 7

That’s the shit, or it will give you the shits! One of the two!

psyla's avatar

See the discussion “Acouple questions a about the iPod touch” at the bottom.

psyla's avatar

What’s a Juris Doctor?

psyla's avatar

Every time bulbatron9 makes a comment I either laugh or need to have another shot.

peedub's avatar

A Jack Daniel, who knows…
hahaha

When either one of you makes a comment I laugh. Which one of you is drunker?

psyla's avatar

He is. He’s had 9.

peedub's avatar

hahahahaha. You might be right!

bulbatron9's avatar

ME! GODDAMN, What kind of question is that? I drink fucking IRISH!

I love you P!

peedub's avatar

I’m kind of ghetto, I stick to the Crow.

psyla's avatar

lacerbabe99, if you’re not interested in our help, we’re going to talk about booze.

wildflower's avatar

Hey….don’t sell yourselves short…..you may be able to give a first hand demonstration of what leads to “Late night drunk dials”....
And you lads are just a hoot! :)

psyla's avatar

Where’s bulbatron9 when you need him?

peedub's avatar

I think he passed out.

psyla's avatar

Oh. He’s mixing Bailys in the Guiness Stout again.

peedub's avatar

Drunk dial? Here’s a number I found in this thread.

[I remember my first library card number and the phone number of this chick who was my friend then was a bitch to me (in fifth grade).
19375780175]

peedub's avatar

[bulb] He might be hiding in his “Shred Shed.”

wildflower's avatar

Murphy’s is way better than Guinness…...but neither should ever contain Bailey’s – that’s sacrileg!

peedub's avatar

No Irish car bombs in Ireland?

wildflower's avatar

no, they’re more in to blowing up bins….....not cars. They trash those on the roads anyway.

wildflower's avatar

oh, and we call them ‘submarines’ – or uboats…..my fav. is turkish pepper dissolved in vodka lowered in a nice Carlsberg….

psyla's avatar

What do you mean “blowing up bins”? What’s a bin?

wildflower's avatar

a rubbish bin

psyla's avatar

You call Guiness with Bailys a Submarine?

wildflower's avatar

yea, you leave it in a shot glass and dump it in the pint, right?

psyla's avatar

Why do they blow up trash cans? What’s wrong with those people?

wildflower's avatar

now there’s a question for a lot of debate…....beats me!

psyla's avatar

You’re putting me on! A submarine is Bailys & Guiness?

wildflower's avatar

it can be…...anything in a shotglass lowered in to a pint glass is a ‘submarine’.....

wildflower's avatar

but baileys and guinness….seriously…...dude!!

psyla's avatar

You submerge the full shotglass into the other glass? Doesn’t it clink around or crack & get in the way when you’re drinking?

wildflower's avatar

yes, and only if you spend too much time drinking it

psyla's avatar

So if you drink too slowly you get glass shards in your throat?

psyla's avatar

That’s a good incentive to get drunk & drink fast.

wildflower's avatar

it’s possible….yes it is.

But you really have to try this

acebamboo77's avatar

Sorry, everyone I went to bed…
looks like a missed out on some good drunk fun. damnit.

Babo's avatar

This just screams, “Big red flag!” to me.

wildflower's avatar

yea, it does a little…....but I’m telling ya, it’s the best giggle I’ve had at work in a long time :)

acebamboo77's avatar

talk about skewed topic of conversation! haha

wildflower's avatar

just a tad.. :)

nikipedia's avatar

I skipped most of this thread, but based on what you were saying at the top I would say this describes your situation best.

psyla's avatar

That link from wildflower about Salmari (vodka & licorice), have you tried Scalmari? (vodka & octopus)

psyla's avatar

Scalmari is known to bartenders a A Big Red Flag. Buy one for your date next time you’re at the bar. “I’ll have A Big Red Flag please.”

acebamboo77's avatar

@ nikepedia – I know what you mean however, we had a talk about the “rebound” thing, and its not what hes looking for at all. We are really close friends and he told me i’d never be the rebound girl, because he’d fuck and chuck a rebound girl. Besides, our friendship has existed long before anything had happened, and some of the things i mentioned above occurred before the relationship.

psyla's avatar

The bottomline fact is that you don’t trust him. A long term relationship with someone you don’t trust can work only if you really don’t care what he does.

acebamboo77's avatar

i gave this some thought, cause you pointed out something, itll only work if i dont care what he does… and it brought up the fact that since this has started until only recently i started to care what he did, and became jealous. Its not that I don’t trust him, I was misunderstanding my own feelings. I get jealous…. because now I care what he does.

psyla's avatar

If you let me know both your birthdays, I can tell you off the top of my head the Chinese & Western zodiac point of view. I think it matters in this case because different personalities deal with problems in trust and past bad experiences differently. Let me know if I’m way off base with this, but I’ve found that there is some small truth in it, especially when the 2 systems are combined. It depends on the personality how well they tolerate specific behaviors, both past & present, in an intimate relationship.

wildflower's avatar

@psyla
You’re really big on the astrology stuff, huh?

psyla's avatar

It’s just that I know the stuff and it works for me. I fluther about it & offer my services because alot of topics are involved with personality & relationships, which is the best use of the knowledge I’ve found.

wildflower's avatar

fair enough..

acebamboo77's avatar

Me: july 2nd 88
Him: january 8th 87

psyla's avatar

You’re a Cancer Dragon & he’s a Capricorn Tiger. Dragons are able to forgive the past & can even change their viewpoint & opinion to favor someone they support who has done wrong things in the past. Your ability to forgive & forget is not an issue, which is great for him because, being a Tiger, he thinks highly of himself as all “cats” do, & will believe that he is respectable, no matter what he has done. A Capricorn Tiger is usually a good provider, hardworking & devoted to work (once he chooses a career). The Tiger, above all things, needs to be able to do what he wants to do. He will ask your opinion & can compromise, but he must know that he is free. Tigers have high moral standards & will be at minimal risk to cheat compared to other signs, but he must CHOOSE you as his girl first. You cannot choose for him nor assume that he is yours because you’ve been together so long. All you can do is romance him. Do not corner a Tiger & force him to commit to you.

Dragons are mythical & it’s hard to tell how they really feel. They’re excellent actors! You are just as charasmatic & as well liked as he is! He cannot read you! He cannot see what is real & what is simply a charismatic display of personality! More than likely, he doesn’t trust you because of this & projecting distrust on you. As a Cancer, being sensitive to the point of being psychic, you feel the “distrust waves” & think you’re the one distrusting him.

Don’t try to control him. Let him run free, he will always return home & will not do anything too bad while he is gone. He will have his failings, lady Tigers have their spendful shopping sprees, male Tigers are all caught up in their current project or out with the guys, but you can trust him to act honorably while gone. Let him run free every now & then, enjoy your alone time and for God’s sake don’t worry about him. He’s a big cat & can take care of himself. In fact the best thing to do when he returns is don’t even ask what he did. Honest Tiger will gladly spill the beans without even thinking about it.

Damn, I feel like “Dear Abby”, & you’re too young to know who Dear Abby was! Being a Dragon, assure him of your honesty and how much you enjoy being with him. Romance him! Candle dinners, dress up for him, whatever you do, just don’t do this in a way that seems false. It’s hard enough for the Tiger to tell what is real and what is not real with the illusions of the mythical Dragon. Also Cancer, don’t get TOO crazy! Craziness is where your fun comes from but we don’t want to scare the lad! He’ got his work cut out for him trying to figure you out!

psyla's avatar

Each of your Moon Signs will have a major effect on your relationship too, but for me to calculate the signs that the Moon was in when you both were born, I’d need your both cities of birth & TIME of birth (the Moon runs through the signs quickly!). I’m just mentioning this so you know it’s an option but… Asking him his time of birth might make him suspicious as to what you’re up to – unless you tell him the truth, which as a Dragon you should always do with him. If he catches you lying it will add further to his confusion with Dragon Illusions. It might be better to just leave this as enough information. Tiger’s pride might actually make him happy to give you his birthplace & birthtime! It’s your call. I’m here.

acebamboo77's avatar

@ Psyla- Wow, thats waaaaaaaaaaay too accurate. Craziness.
Great insight. I’m printing this off!
I think I will stick with this, since asking his time of birth would be a strange conversation.

acebamboo77's avatar

One of my problems I find that I have is being able to open up… quite often he tells me he misses our hang outs and instead of telling him i do too i make jokes
im too guarded.

psyla's avatar

You’ve got to be who you are, trying to change your behavior wouldn’t be natural. I’m not saying that you have to be wide open with him, maybe just a little more open?

stephen's avatar

what type of guy he is? the point is: if you like him.everything is okay! if not! just let it go!

Britcraft86's avatar

Well question is do you like him and yeah I think he likes you or just wants to get into your pants, but you know him so you should be able to tell. And if you like him then hell yeah joke or flirt back.

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