Meta Question

TheIntern55's avatar

Why are Flutherers so nice?

Asked by TheIntern55 (4260points) July 6th, 2011

Seriously. Most of the people in the outside world are mean without a sense of humor. Why is everybody so amazing here?
Feel free to brag.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

90 Answers

TexasDude's avatar


Just kidding. I think that you’ve probably been hanging out with the wrong people if you believe everyone in the outside world is mean.

MilkyWay's avatar

I love you.

Plucky's avatar

Because we’re superbad in a good way! Most of us are quite intellectual ..that may be a reason we rock too.

I agree with @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard ..perhaps you need to find different people in the outside world.

DeanV's avatar

Honestly, I’d say the lack of any way to give negative feedback (ie. a fuckshitawful answer) button could attest to why the community is “nice”.

FutureMemory's avatar

@dverhey Good point. It’s a conspiracy!

syz's avatar

As a mod, I’d like to toss out the possibility that the “no personal attacks” and “no flame wars” policy may have something to do with it.

marinelife's avatar

@syz is probably right. We tend to self-select for nice.

bob_'s avatar

They want to trick you into bed.

We’re just nice.

TheIntern55's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I was sorta exaggerating. Oops.
Does that make me a bad person?
Of course it may have something to do with the fact I’m in high school
@MilkyWay awkward…
@dverhey @FutureMemory MORE government conspricies? Where does the madness end?
@bob_ Haha that made my day!

Coloma's avatar

Not nice can’t disguise itself for long, in real life or in an online setting IMO.

Most Flutherers are intelligent, thoughtful and seem pretty damn genuine, the few that have whipped their stingers at me have either been flushed or I just swim in a different direction if I see them coming. :-D

TheIntern55's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille yup. That’s where Yahoo answers fails.
@Coloma Maybe it’s the intelligance level here…....

wundayatta's avatar

Clearly you haven’t met me yet! Just ask @Coloma.

wundayatta's avatar

Just because you haven’t met me before doesn’t mean I have to demonstrate my lack of niceness at the moment. Carry on.

TexasDude's avatar

@TheIntern55 of course it doesn’t make you a bad person!

ucme's avatar

It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.
That quote was brought to you by ;¬}

KateTheGreat's avatar

A lot of the users here are very helpful and nice. But, there are a few bad apples from time to time.

I agree when you say we’re nicer here than other people are. It’s probably the strict rules. We’re not allowed to blatantly insult each on posts.

Aethelwine's avatar

I agree with @Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard. Though I feel most Flutherites are nice, I come across more insults here than I do irl. sometimes I wonder why I even bother

tedibear's avatar

I think that most people here have learned that it’s easier to play nicely in the sandbox than to poop in it. It just makes for less aggravation for everyone.

Cruiser's avatar

Because we drive nice cars and stay up waaaay past our bed time!

rebbel's avatar

We are nice. Online.
I am pretty sure that when you put 25 Jellies in a mansion for a month, in real life, you would find that we are quite the same as non Jellies.
Most are nice, some less so.
I could be wrong though.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Every morning, the maid lightly dusts my keyboard with a touch of MDMA.

Seelix's avatar

Fluther has happily created a tight-knit community of people who are always willing to help. Those of us who’ve come upon it and stuck around do so because we feel a sense of community here.

I honestly think that a part of it is due to the fact that we have so many older (by which I mean 30+) users who have realized that there’s no point to being childish and stupid online. The majority of our under-30 users are also older than their years – a lot of people in their teens and 20s seem to get off on being jerks, but most Jellies have grown out of that.

Zaku's avatar

I think most people in real life are actually nice.

On the Internet, however, many forums get littered with low-quality posts from kids (and others) who are rude and/or being thoughtless or venting, and which doesn’t get cleaned up, and discourages thoughtful people from posting.

Fluther moderates and has attracted a community of people who are generally nice, thoughtful, helpful, etc.

Plucky's avatar

@marinelife MDMA is the drug Ecstasy.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

What? Really? Uummmmmmm…....well, I would not stamp that with a 100% ruber stamp just yet.

jaytkay's avatar


It’s like the broken windows theory about vandalism and crime. If quickly clean up the vandalism and graffitti, the vandals and graffitists stop coming around.

Abrasive people either leave or get their edges smoothed. Personally, I have learned from people around here to be more accepting and more helpful and less argumentative.

Coloma's avatar

The only time I get a melvin is when egos the size of Antarctica refute any opinion that differs slightly from others and then proceed to dynamite that person just because they get off on their own bullying tactics. Lots of little big men have this issue.

nikipedia's avatar

I have posted questions that referenced money troubles, and on two separate occasions, jellies I have never met before, who have no other connection to me, have offered to help me out.

So I definitely agree that people here are nicer than people out there.

I don’t have an explanation, but I am very grateful we have this community here.

Kardamom's avatar

I think the main reason is because this particular site (as opposed to others) is set up in a way to attract smart, thoughful people who really want to help other people, and to try to do that in a friendly, consciencious manner. If you stick around for awhile and get into some of the more contentious subjects, you will find out that nice-ness sometimes gets sucked out the window. But even then, other jellies will jump in and try to calm everybody down.

Also, the mods are here to make sure that no one attacks anybody and they swiftly remove anybody who acts like a troll, or a psycho or a big fat meany.

And the Fluther guidelines are pretty clear about how to post questions and answers in a reasonable (non accusatory, non threatening and non inflammatory) manner. If you try to do any of those naughty things, the mods will send you a private PM or they will send your question back to you, so that you can edit it into a more appropriate statement.

And most of the jellies on this site tend to do a lot of homework before they make a statement. Most (not all) jellies tend to edit themselves, before they post a statement instead of just shooting off their mouths. In real life, it’s hard to put the toothpaste back into the tube.

I hope you will stick around. We really are a nice bunch of joes. And we throw marvelous virtual parties!

everephebe's avatar

We’re usually only mean with a sense of humor.

KateTheGreat's avatar

We’re so nice because we’re all eating @Coloma‘s special brownies. :)

Coloma's avatar


Awww geez, lets have a group hug and sing Kumbaya.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@Coloma That sounds fantastic. Can your geese join us?

filmfann's avatar

Entry to the 10K mansion comes with a lifetime access to morphine suppositories.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@filmfann I can’t wait, if that’s the case!

josie's avatar

We haven’t met…

Bellatrix's avatar

Can’t really add to what has been said already but it is refreshing isn’t it to not be in an online environment where people are screaming insults at each other in text because they disagree.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I’m with @Hypocrisy_Central on this one, wow!

Cruiser's avatar

@Coloma I’ll bring the acoustic guitar and head bands!

Coloma's avatar


Yes, and some Merlot, but no Tuna steaks. ;-)

Aethelflaed's avatar

Wow, I actually find many jellies to be quite mean, and people in the real world to be nicer overall. So I guess I’m no help.

Berserker's avatar

Internet wise, I think we’re just more civilized. Well some of us anyways…

’‘repeatedly strikes a rock with a bone’’

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Psst….we do agree sometimes, lets keep that a secret, they will never know. Beside you were always on my favorites list. ;-)

Coloma's avatar

I watch for consistency, good or bad. It’s pretty simple to me.
Anyone can have an occasional ‘moment’ but, in general, I feel really comfortable in knowing for lack of a better word for people I have never met and trusting my judgments with a lot of jellies. For better and for worse.

It’s all about consistency, which is a really good barometer for how people show up in real life and the net.

I don’t do moody, unpredictable, irritable and blows hot & cold in real life, and I don’t do it here either.

The Flutherers I have come to ‘trust’ are the ones that have shown me they are basically sturdy, stable, non-combative types, unless pushed to an extreme.

WasCy's avatar

mucking fods

Lots and lots of people “in the real world” are exceptionally nice. Really. Go-out-of-their-way-a-mile-for-you nice. Ten miles, even.

But it’s not automatic, and it’s not “always on”, either.

Look at the volunteers that flock to disaster sites, not to gawk or make a buck, but just to help. Even if they have “no dog in that fight” as the saying goes, they show up, they take nothing that they don’t absolutely need just to survive, themselves, and they stay until they’re no longer needed. And they certainly don’t do it for the recognition, either, because no one ever knows who they are.

But they are there, in droves. Agencies of the government have had to be mobilized to keep them away.

AstroChuck's avatar

Go sh@& in your hat and f@#% off!!!

Blueroses's avatar

@AstroChuck I don’t know why I got such a clear visual image from “Go sh& in your hat” but I literally can’t stop laughing. Thanks. That was nice!

Bellatrix's avatar

You and me both @blueroses… I was like :-O and then fell about laughing.

Aethelwine's avatar

I thought I was answering the bitch question in general and was going to say I’m a beotch, but then I noticed this was the nice question.


Kardamom's avatar

Oh you mean we aren’t talking about relatives? I thought we were on the neice question : )

Kardamom's avatar

Do you think the OP still thinks we are nice, or do you think that she now thinks we are a bunch of looneys?

I hope she sticks around, because I think we’re both!

Coloma's avatar

Well..if I disappear it is because I have slipped into some off topic moments again, innocently of course..but, I am on continuing probation. lol

Aethelwine's avatar

I vote for looneys

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I think like attracts like in this case. I was drawn in and stuck around because of the caliber of people in this community. Fluther has a group of members that are exceptionally kind, thoughtful, creative, intelligent and insightful like nowhere else I’ve ever seen. I think that other people notice that, and want to be a part of it.

I think that (aside from a few that have held their ground) those that are not especially nice tend to be driven off pretty quickly.

FutureMemory's avatar

I bet to a certain extent, one might feel Flutherites are so nice because so much of the rest of the internet is very mean.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

….that still makes us nicer than the rest of the internet.

FutureMemory's avatar

Indeed it does.

augustlan's avatar

Even though a few jellies can sting from time to time, we are a pretty nice bunch. It makes me awfully happy.

Bellatrix's avatar

We have a good mummy :D

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

^This is true.

Coloma's avatar

I just gave my resident mama raccoon a piece of bread with organic honey, hows that for nice? :-)

Bellatrix's avatar

You are very nice Coloma. As I have said here before, I feed my possums unintentionally way too much so they can bugger off (they chomp through my veggie garden). No bread for them.

FutureMemory's avatar

We have a good mummy :D

You don’t know the half of it…Auggie is like a 2nd mother to me ;)

Bellatrix's avatar

It would not surprise me at all though @FutureMemory. I think Auggie is one of the world’s carers.

augustlan's avatar

I love you guys.

Your_Majesty's avatar

Some people…

Psssst! Don’t spoil them! Seriously, Not everybody is nice here, just like any other sites there are some angelic members and some satanic members but I found the ratio of angelic member is a bit bigger here. Many people have different and contrary personalities.

FutureMemory's avatar

Not everybody is nice here, just like any other sites there are some angelic members and some satanic members


Your_Majesty's avatar

@FutureMemory What was that for!? I’m just being honest here. He probably hasn’t met some obnoxious jellies yet.

To tell you the truth I’ve seen so many ‘patriotic’ posts in many sites, stating that it’s the best site, they’re the best community, the friendliest members, etc, etc.

A bee says her hive is the best, and she ask the other bees from the same hive, of course, they will say the same. I will not ask if fluther is good in its own site and such. I know what I’ll get. I’ve tried this in many sites and they all say the same so it won’t make any differences.

FutureMemory's avatar

You commented that there are some angelic members as well as some satanic members. I then made the devil horns sign to show you which one of the two that I am. That’s all.

Your_Majesty's avatar

Oh I thought it was a conductor trying to ‘hyperbolize’ my post. I was whispering anyway Pssst!.

mazingerz88's avatar

Because angels of the same feather flock together.

MilkyWay's avatar

@augustlan I love you too ^_^

Berserker's avatar

Satanic members. That was cool lol.

Bellatrix's avatar

I think I would be one of the satanic members. I certainly don’t want to be angelic.

That bow is very cute @Symb.

Berserker's avatar

We should start a cult. :D

Bellatrix's avatar

Yes!!! I should send you my cat pic and you can put a bow on its head… :D

Berserker's avatar

Would that work with Paint? I can always try. :D

Earthgirl's avatar

It’s so much easier to be nice when you just have to pay lip service to it. Nothing much of an investment is required. I think that sounds very negative and cynical on my part but honestly, I think most people in their heart of hearts want to be nice and mean well, wish well to others, want to help others, it is just so much harder when it requires more than voicing a kind thought or giving the best advice or wisdom you have. Maybe if we really knew each other better there would be things that would annoy us about each other and conflicts that would erupt. But that said, I still think that there is more kindness and civility on Fluther than you generally find online. There are a lot of really nice, intelligent, funny people. There are people who will go out of their way to help and invest their time and energy to help a complete stranger. Fluther has a feeling of community that I like and respect. It brings out the best in people. Why are there so many nice people? Maybe it’s as simple as like attracts like.

Coloma's avatar

Hey you guys…look beyond the obvious..@Symbeline’s pink bow..shows her true ‘colors’, a sweet little thing under that grimacing skull. :-D

Berserker's avatar

Aaaw, but I tried making the red eyes all evil and important and shit. XD

Damn MSPaint spray tool, betraying me again! XD

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Symbeline Do it by hand, the software always work with the hardware usually. ;-)

Coloma's avatar


Give it up child…you are a little daisy hiding under a black shroud. Coloma ‘sees’ the real you. ;-)

Blueroses's avatar

@Symbeline I can Photoshop you a more evil look if you want to scare the angels and small children.

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther