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intrepidium's avatar

Good idea to re-make acquaintances with long lost friends?

Asked by intrepidium (1225points) July 9th, 2011

As I get older, I find myself getting nostalgic for past times and old/ childhood friends to the extent of Googling and looking them up on Facebook etc. I’m guessing this desire to relive the good ol’ times may be a bit self-deluding at some level – but is it generally a good idea to reach out and get back in touch? I’m uncertain coz surely we have all changed over the years… memory is a strange thing & I may not even like what I’d find

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9 Answers

john65pennington's avatar

I got the surprise of my life, when one of my old rock and roll band members met after many years.

They all knew what I did for a living, yet they brought out a plate of illegal drugs for the get together.

I immediately left and that will never happen again. People change and expect surprises.

I was in another state.

JLeslie's avatar

I have gotten back in touch with old friends and it has been fantastic. It is a little hit and miss. Some it is nice to see what they are doing now and discover what we might still have in common, others nothing really clicked, one or two we picked right back up where we left off.

intrepidium's avatar

@john65pennington : I guess that’s the other thing about getting back in touch – it’s hard to tell how others remembered us. There’s probably a bit of mutual distortion… which in your case led to that awkward situation (Hmmm BTW if you had been in the same state under your lawful jurisdiction, would you have had them arrested? ;))

My crowd was pretty vanilla back then, so I doubt if I’ll have that kind of surprise. I suppose it also takes a kind of openness in attitude to make the 1st move in reaching out and then rolling with it, whatever “it” might turn out to be… or am I worrying too much in advance?

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Why not? If they have turned into people you don’t want to associate with then you can drop off again. At least by making contact you will increase the possibility of some really wonderful times to be shared around and new ones made too.

An co worker of mine found me on Facebook last week, one I haven’t heard from in over 15yrs but it feels great!n We fill in the gaps of time with what we’ve been up to, new fantastic people come along, shared connections we were unaware of, etc.

marinelife's avatar

Why not try it? Some will stick; some won’t.

linguaphile's avatar

What everyone said—try it, and some will work, some won’t.

When I moved to Minn, there were 3 people here that I really knew well in college. One had turned into a wound-really-tight desperate housewife and was unbelievably unpleasant to be around. She criticized everything in sight—then I realized she was a little like that in college, but becoming a wife and mom brought that part of her personality to the forefront. Shrug…we don’t fit anymore, move on.
The other two stayed close, but on different terms. One is a lesbian and we’re great friends, but she prefers her community. The other married a really rich man and has a lot of obligations, so we get together when we can. I still love them to death; I just accepted that our interactions will be different because life is different.
My mother found some old classmates from ancient history on Facebook- she talks to them every week.
Hope for a hit, let go of a miss. Best of luck to you :D

intrepidium's avatar

Thanks for your thoughts and advice everybody – I guess I may have been overly apprehensive. Maybe a part of me is afraid of being disappointed but like so many of you said, such is life eh? Should I decide to go ahead and reach out, I can only hope I won’t disappoint my friends…

linguaphile's avatar

@intrepidium It could be that you’re not the disappointment, just that different things in life impact all of us differently. Instead of thinking of it in terms of disappointment, maybe think of it in terms of ‘rediscovery?”

augustlan's avatar

I’ve gotten in touch with several old friends through Facebook, and it’s been pretty interesting. Mostly, we just end up catching up and then moving on with our current lives, but you never know. Give it a shot!

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