Social Question

poisonedantidote's avatar

How much can one person realistically change at once?

Asked by poisonedantidote (21648points) July 9th, 2011

I don’t know what has happened to me over the last couple of months. I recently started a new job, I’m quite sure that’s when It happened.

It could be that my balls have finally dropped, metaphorically speaking of corse, but lately I feel different.

I used to work with computers, and still kind of do in my spare time, but my main job now is as entertainment manager for a hotel. Since I have started this job, I have gone from living in isolation for two years, to being on stage on a daily basis.

I feel like I am on the virge of a rebirth so to speak, a second coming of age perhaps.

Lately, I feel like nothing can stop me. I am much more confident, in fact, it’s more than just confidence, it’s almost like I have finally figured out who I am, and have found a way I can belong. I am very centered and content, and find my self to be much more sociable.

A few weeks ago, I saw an infomercial for an exercise program called p90x. Since then I have been eating healthy and doing some exercise each day.

About a week ago, I decided to stop smoking weed. I also plan to quit smoking tobacco too.

How far can I push this?

I feel like nothing can stop me, as if I can do anything I set my mind to, but after years of being a skeptical and cynical realist, I wonder where my limits are.

Is it possible, to go from weed smoking couch potato, to being the complete opposite?

Lets say I have decided to get my shit together… How much can I realistically do?

Can I:

- Quit weed
– Quit smoking
– Start Eating Healthy
– Complete and keep repeating p90x
– Impress the hell out of my new boss this year
– Start a new possible long term relationship
– Get my driving licence
– Buy a car
– Start saving and investing
– Do everything the aforementioned implies

… and not go crazy?

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20 Answers

Bellatrix's avatar

You can do all those things and pretty much anything else you put your mind to. If you are loving your new life, and it sounds as though you are, run with it. All the things you mention are healthy and productive. Good luck with it. Lovely to hear of this wonderful turnaround for you.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

You can do all of those things without being considered out of sorts. Those are the things many people start into once they feel they have some stability and/or security in place. It sounds great :D

poisonedantidote's avatar

… All at once btw. ie, this year. Starting monday.


Any statistics on weed smoking relapses? reasons people quit eating healthy? etc..

Bellatrix's avatar

Why not. None of the things you mention have to be done in isolation. Sounds like you are energised. :-)

Edit. Just don’t beat yourself up if you do fall off the wagon in terms of giving up smoking or healthy eating. One step at a time towards a bigger goal. And @Lilycoyote makes a good point about not burning out. Just set small goals along the way that you can achieve, that will help you reach the bigger goals.

intrepidium's avatar

What’s stopping you? You have nothing to lose and everything to game by going for it – strike while the iron’s hot as they say! Good habits begin by taking the first step :)

poisonedantidote's avatar

@intrepidium “You have nothing to lose”

My job, the girl, my health, etc.

I can quit smoking, I can do that, I can impress my boss, I can do it all, one at a time. I “fear” the possibility of a multi sided combo relapse, from too much pressure.

lillycoyote's avatar

Realistically, you need to be realistic. At least for me there have been times in my life where I was just so fired up that I was going to change myself top to bottom, I was sure of it, there was no stopping me and it just didn’t happen, because I was asking too much of myself. Use that energy but set some realistic goals or there will be the inevitable crash and self-recrimination. At least that’s what happened to me. Or maybe you can do it all, who know. But if you can’t, in the end, do it all cut yourself a break and keep chipping away. That high, that feeling that you are on the verge of recreating yourself in a big way, that wave can sometimes carry you a long way but sometime just leaves you wrecked on the beach if you try too much, too hard. Just a spoilsport with a few words of caution here.

jaytkay's avatar

I think you should concentrate on “Impress the hell out of my new boss this year”.

It sounds like that’s the impetus. The rest will follow. It’s easier to impress if you are eating well and exercising and not smoking, so you will be motivated for those steps.

When you are happier and healthier and kicking ass at your job, you will feel (and be) more attractive for the long term relationship.

You will be able to earn more and start saving.

Etc, etc, etc.

Sounds like you are having a good year! Congrats!

poisonedantidote's avatar

@jaytkay The job is absolutely one of the bricks at the base of the pyramid, yes.

poisonedantidote's avatar

More Info:

The way I see it, my biggest weakness is the tobacco. If I quit smoking tobacco, I will be more aggressive. Also, building muscle tends to make males more agressive, I knew it used to make me more “testosteroneish” when I used to do gym and martial arts.

If I anticipate problems, I see the following:

- An increase of aggression jeopardises the job or relationship.
– A hard weed relapse puts the job in jeopardy
– A failed relationship and damaged emotions cause me to neglect the job.
– Too much exercise causes me to get injured, take time off work, lose the job, etc.


- A feeling of security in a new relationship causes me to neglect the exercise.

Coloma's avatar

Shift happens, and clearly you’re shifting. Just go with the moment, if you feel motivated to do something, just do it! It’s called an awakening, whatever spurs awakenings are different for many, but, YES, you CAN make a LOT of major changes all at once.

I changed my entire life about 9 years ago now.

Left a bad marriage, changed jobs, moved, got seriously into my exercise, completely revised many of my beliefs, went on a major healing/spiritual journey, took 2 years off to just do my thing. Absolutely a born again experience.

Congratulations the natural drive towards evolution has kicked into high gear…vrooom, vroom, pop a wheelie! :-D

jaytkay's avatar

It’s not one giant block of things to accomplish at once.

You will make progress in different things at different times. Don’t let difficulty in one area make you feel like you are failing to move the giant block.

woodcutter's avatar

I believe you are overthinking this. You’re going to do fine and I think you know it deep down way inside

poisonedantidote's avatar

@woodcutter I don’t really have any doubts I can do it, what i’m listing as doubts are more like concerns, I’m just double checking really. Just because a junkie thinks he can fly, does not mean he should jump off the roof hehe. I just want to make sure I am not being delusional.

woodcutter's avatar

Yes try to prioritize these Once you get something moving they will all start to pop. This is a good thing you are doing.

Coloma's avatar

Yes, remember, an object in motion stays in motion and an object at rest stays at rest. lol
Hey, we all go through cycles, such is the nature of life. Cycles can last anywhere from a few hours to a few years, it’s true. When it’s your season to grow, there’s no stopping it.

JLeslie's avatar

I think you can do most of it. Some bad habits or lifestyles lead to other, let’s say negative things, although the word negative might be harsh. Smoking pot and living in isolation, giving those up for being social and your real self unaltered is a huge change that will have a domino effect. Also your “love” interest probably has all sorts of good feeling hormones racing through your body, and I am not talking sex drive hormones, I mean the feeling alive hormones. Eating healthy, loosing a little weight, interacting with people who give you positive reinforcement, these all are drastic, and will have drastic overall changes in your mood and health.

Sounds good!

CWOTUS's avatar

When I quit smoking reefer about thirty-five years ago I did it cold turkey. I just stopped one day. No big deal. No withdrawal of any kind.

I had one “relapse” that was more of a social thing, three or four years later. I was with some friends who were passing a joint, and I was in the middle and took a hit just to be “one of the boys”. But that was all, and I never have done another puff.

From what I can recall of my reefer days, though, I know that I kind of liked the stuff a lot! when I was first starting out, and then three years later it was just a habit, and giving it up was no great shakes at all.

But “giving things up cold turkey” may be in my genes. My mother gave up smoking that way, decades ago. She ran out of cigarettes during a weekend when we were having a winter storm. My dad wouldn’t go to the store to buy them for her, and she wouldn’t drive in the snow, so she just stopped smoking that weekend, and never bought another pack.

PS: Congratulations on your changes, by the way. Don’t worry if they don’t all “stick”, because you’re doing a lot at once, and the pressures of a new job (even one that you’re being successful at) can add a lot of stress. But the new you sounds great. Not that the old one was so bad.

Pandora's avatar

You can do it all. Sounds like what you found was confidence. Confidence is an amazing thing. The same thing happened with my daughter. Once she found a job she really enjoyed, she has flourished in the last 2 years. She’s been promoted twice, has lost 70 lbs in the first year, and has gotten her health back and is deep into fitness as well. She has enormous energy now. She went from a sickly couch potato to the energetic kid I knew when she was 10. She’s never still now and enjoying life and enjoying being healthy.
People just never realize how much confidence is the biggest influence in our lives.
From what I see, non of your goals is impossible. Just never doubt yourself.

blueiiznh's avatar

Of course you can do them all.
You have the power to and I know you will succeed!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
by Marianne Williamson

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