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SpatzieLover's avatar

What is your definition of spanking a child?

Asked by SpatzieLover (24532points) July 11th, 2011

As the question states.

Some people say “I was spanked as a kid” when they mean

“I was whooped with a belt or had corporal punishment as a child”.

If you are/were a parent that spanked, how did the spanking occur? Was it immediate? Was it a hand or an object? Over the pants or naked butt?

How many times do/did you hit during the spanking?

If you remember being spanked as a kid, do you remember why?

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26 Answers

MilkyWay's avatar

Spanked, to me, means hitting on the bottom.
Though, I do remember being ‘whooped’ with a belt over my jeans, and being hit by a hand.

Blackberry's avatar

A swat on the butt or hand. Just a light swat, generally. Some people are used to “whoopings”, though and just call that a spanking because they’re used to it.

augustlan's avatar

To me, a spanking is a couple of swats on the bottom, with a hand, over clothes. I was probably spanked about 4 times when I was a kid. I remember one of them was for lying.

JLeslie's avatar

Spanked to me is open hand on the bottom, can be with or without clothes.

I saw on Oprah Michael Jackson’s father continuing to deny he beat his son. Through further questioning it cam out he had hit him. Mr. Jackson said, “yes, but I did not beat him.” he meant he had an open hand not closed fist. I actually define hittinng the same way, open hand, and beating closed fist, and a whooping or caning or paddling as using an object instead of a hand.

Corporal Punishment to me is any and every type of physical punishment. I actually don’t typically use the term for parents, I think of it in terms of schools and governments.

tedibear's avatar

I remember only 2 spankings in my life. They were both about 4 swats on my bottom, through my clothes. That’s what I consider a spanking. Once things like belts or anything harder enters the picture, it’s abusive.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I think of it as being spanked on the bottom.
I was spanked..I remember why.
I am not traumatized by this.
If I had kids,I would not use physical discipline.

cletrans2col's avatar

Using a tree branch, belt, or extension card and getting that backside when a kid does wrong.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

I never remember getting spanked, I do remember getting a whooping several times. One time was for sassing her, one time for being party to the killing of a bird, definitely for kicking a teacher, beating a kid up, and one I won’t mention. There was always a good reason, I may not have seen it at the time. She was not my favorite person after I got it but I never thought of replacing her with a nicer mom, or developing a hate for her. When I got older I seen why, I rarely repeated the offence that got me whooped on. I remember a belt once or twice, a switch mostly, and once I remember getting whacked with a piece of aerial wire. It was on the butt over the underwear. It didn’t kill me or make me some serial killer, nor did it drive me to drugs, etc.

marinelife's avatar

A swat on the bottom.

Cruiser's avatar

I remember my spankings as measured, swift and painful….almost too much. I hated them and hated my mom for being so rough about it all.

Having my own boys I can’t say I never spanked their bottom but at no time did it involve more than a swat or a belt, hairbrush or paddle the way mine did. Spanking now or did mean getting the attention of an out of hand child. Once I got their undivided attention, together we found solutions to their difficult situations with understanding and hugs.

YARNLADY's avatar

My parents were very much into spanking, smacking and swatting. I remember twice when it got out of hand. Once when a belt buckle swung around from my bottom and left welts, cuts and bruises. My Mom cried when she saw what happened, because it was an accident. The other time, she used a switch picked up from the ground, and it cut me pretty bad, but she didn’t notice until blood seeped through my pants.

Any time I lied or talked back, I was subject to being smacked in the face or head with an open palm. My Dad slammed our heads together once when my sister and I were being too rowdy. We both fainted, and he never did it again.

Once my sister slammed a car door on her hand, and she said I did it. My Dad whipped me with a belt five hits (the maximum in our house), and when she finally admitted I didn’t do it, she was whipped and grounded for a month.

My Mother hand spanked our bottoms for being gone too long, and she heard Sis and I laughing about how we didn’t feel it because our bottoms were frozen from sitting in the snow. She came out and spanked us again, with a wooden spoon. Spanked means hitting the bottom or entire back side from below the waist to the knees with hand, fly swatter, spoon, or small stick.

We also had a soap bar stuck in our mouth for swearing, and our hands slapped for pinching or grabbing.

Dutchess_III's avatar

A quick swat on a diapered butt to stop dangerous or unacceptable behavior. As they get older, it’s more formalized. They have to go to their room to think about it (and so I have time to cool off so I don’t do something I might regret because I’m still angry.) Then a discussion and then the reinforcement. A swat or two on the butt, over your knee. (I didn’t spank too often after they got out of diapers.)

YARNLADY's avatar

@JLeslie These things were only about one a year, or less. My parents were very strict, but also very loving.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I took a belt to my son once, when he was 11. He had a problem with impulsiveness, and he done something very, very, very dangerous without thinking. He could have been killed. It scared me so bad that, you know, it turned into a rage. I had to send him to his room for 30 minutes so that I could cool off….and even after that he got three good licks with the flat of a belt (not the buckle…I had the belt doubled, the buckle in my hand) on the back of his legs. I remember, not long after that, he started to do something impulsive again, but stopped and said, to himself, “I really need to think before I do this…” and he didn’t do it. He got better and better after that. And, at 24, he’s still alive!!
As awful as it is, when it’s done fairly, it does work.

JLeslie's avatar

@YARNLADY Oh, ok. Good.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Edit…he HAD done….

Plucky's avatar

To me, spanking means a light swat on the bottom (with the hand). A swat that is not meant to cause physical pain.

I would not do it myself but I understand and respect others that choose that method (the way I described it).

I grew up in a household where spanking meant anything goes. However, the term spanking was rarely uttered.

zenvelo's avatar

I was occasionally spanked with a belt. One time, in what I can only now realize was a combination of being overwhelmed and also some post-partum thing, my mom went into a rage about how messy my room was. She went kinda nuts with the belt, hitting me while I was trying to avoid the blows with up raised arms. Some of it hit my back and my arms and my head.

Schroedes13's avatar

I pretty much got everything that consists with a good spanking. It was almost always on the bottom or back of the thigh. I had slaps with a hand, a belt, flyswatters, wooden spoons, broomsticks. I most definitely deserved every one of them that I received. I was quite the handful growing up.

I was only slapped in the face once by my mother. I was 14–15 and at that time, I was already “6’2” and my mother is around “5’5“ish. So whenever she would start to berate me about something, I got into the habit of walking up to her and just glaring down at her. She would say “stop that” or “back up”, but most times I wouldn’t.

I remember her getting into a rant with me one time and I walked up to her, crossed my arms, and just stared down at her. She gave me the usual “get back”, but I didn’t listen. Out of nowhere, I got a full arm swing, open palm slap in the face. My woman to slap me in the face. But I have never went toe to toe with her again! :P

ucme's avatar

A tap on the bum, as my mother always said, it’s the look in the eye that learns you a lesson.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I was spanked (or smacked as we say over here in the UK) couple of times as a child and it was simply a light strike on the bottom or back of the legs with a hand. My parents never used anything but their hands to smack us.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@zenvelo That’s exactly what I mean, when a “spanking” is done in rage. That’s abuse. IMO.

zenvelo's avatar

@Dutchess_III I agree. I have two well behaved teenage kids that get compliments from teachers. They have never never been spanked or swatted.

SpatzieLover's avatar

It seems the consensus here then is:

A spanking is a few hand swats to the bottom over clothing.

I’ve come to understand that a slap or swat is a hand to the face, hand or butt. A paddling or whopping involves an object (belt, wooden paddle or spoon) to the bottom usually over clothing.

After reading a few old threads on here and from discussion in real life, I was wondering how others defined this. Some families/individuals refer to their “beatings” as spankings. I personally felt I needed clarification.

Thank you for your answers.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I agree with your definitions @SpatzieLover.

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