Social Question

poisonedantidote's avatar

How can I tell my boss I don't want him to make me drunk anymore without pissing him off?

Asked by poisonedantidote (21648points) July 11th, 2011

I had not drunk any alcohol in about 12 years. At least not enough to feel its affect. I would maybe have a shandy with my father on his birthday, but thats about it.

But my boss keeps lots of bottles of 21yo whiskey behind the bar for the staff, and enjoys making people drink it.

It costs lots of money for just one bottle, 100’s in fact, and my boss is a very friendly person. I know he likes to give it to me as a reward and sign of friendship, but I’m not cut out for drinking.

How can I stop him giving me booze each night.

The last two nights I have been drunk… the first time of my own doing yes, but I still don’t like it.

If I don’t have a whiskey, he wont have one either, he does not drink alone, he works 17 hours a day, yes, 17, and I feel like I am denying him his very well earned reward if I turn him down.

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28 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Can’t you just tell him that you will have a soda,juice or water,anything but alcohol?

poisonedantidote's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille He refuses to drink alone, and by alone I mean in non-spanish speaking company. He does not get drunk, but I do. The whiskey he gives me is so enjoyable, I drink it very fast and get drunk.

If I have soda, he will have soda, and he deserves a treat, because he alone holds the place together, and if he were to quit and some new asshole took over, the hotel would be made all inclusive, and we would all be out of a job.

janbb's avatar

Tell him that alcohol affects you adversely and you are not able to drink but you appreciated the offer. In this day and age, nobody should be pressuring anyone to drink if they can’t or don’t want to,

His “deserving a treat” does not put the onus on you to drink unless you are looking for an excuse to.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

He should treat himself to something that won’t annihilate his liver.
You should never compromise your health for the sake of another.:)

poisonedantidote's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille Yea, it can’t be healthy for him.

I said he likes making people drink the stuff, and thats true, but the people he gives it to are a very select few.

If I have a coffee, he will give me a tea spoon of or so of the whiskey to wash my coffee cup out with. The gesture, is that he is giving me pearls to throw at my swine. He is saying “you are so good, that I will give you 21 year old whiskey to do the dishes with”. It goes hand in hand with a very distinct status.

Customers are not allowed to have any, and they have tried in the past to buy some, and he simply will not sell them any, even for 50 bucks a glass. He says in broken English to them “no no, dis is special drink for magic people”, and gives them a big grin and laugh.

There are staff that have been there years, and not been offered any. How do I turn down the alcohol without turning down the status? (keep in mind im being paid almost 5k a month, some times more, in a place where the average wage is 1.2k a month, and keep in mind i only work 3 hours a day)

TheIntern55's avatar

Give him a big party or something larger to show him how much you guys care about him. He sounds like a great boss and deserves more than a drink every night. He sounds like a great guy, and I understand how it could be hard to turn down such an offer.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@poisonedantidote Well,what would happen if you just said that you can’t handle alcohol? If he values you as an employee,he shouldn’t care if you say no,right?
After all,he is a grown man and maybe will have more respect for a man that can say no.
Good luck :)

chyna's avatar

Is your driving home after work involved? If so, you can always tell him you can’t risk drinking and driving.

poisonedantidote's avatar

@chyna hehe yea, unfortunately I don’t drive and live 3 streets away.

cockswain's avatar

Tell him you can’t drink that much every night, just once in a while.

poisonedantidote's avatar

Suplemental:

Is there a way I can limit how much he gives me? .. I can handle 1 a day, I don’t even feel 1 really. But today I had 6 before I even had time to leave, and he espectially expects me to have one with him before I go.

I could tell him “not on the job”... but he is my boss, who am I going to tell him is forbidding me?

poisonedantidote's avatar

i’ll check back in tomorrow, bed is calling

WestRiverrat's avatar

Just tell him your doctor said you were to limit your alcohol intake to one drink a week.

marinelife's avatar

@poisonedantidote You have got to just say no. Tell him that you went along with him to make him happy, but that the alcohol is very bad for you and you will not drink it again.

Cruiser's avatar

@poisonedantidote You just said if you had a soda he would have a soda!! Are you really so concerned over what he consumes or what you consume?? I sense you are making excuses for him to drink so you can drink. You look like a big boy so act like one and take control of YOUR life! Stop making excuses and take control of YOUR own life!!

poisonedantidote's avatar

@Cruiser Sound advice, but I think you have missread the situation. I really don’t like drinking, and as I’m trying to quit weed I don’t want to end up stuck on booze instead.

However, I will take your answer in to consideration on a more subconscious level, just to be sure.

poisonedantidote's avatar

@Cruiser Actually… thinking on it more. I think you are 99% right.

I’m not making excuses so he can drink and so can I, however, I am probably making excuses for him to drink so that I can get the special treatement. That is after all what I’m more concerned about.

ETpro's avatar

Your boss wants to give you aged Scotch whisky and you’re complaining? Tell you what, you can have my job and I’ll take yours. :-)

No seriously, a drink or two a day won’t hurt you and if it makes him feel good rewarding his people that way, no harm. There are ups and downs to very moderate alcohol consumption, but those who imbibe in moderation outlive both teetotalers and heavy drinkers. So in balance, it makes sense to drink a bit, but not a great bit.

And I am sure if you ask your doctor, you will get the honest advice to limit alcohol intake to 1 to 2 drinks per day. Then passing that on to the boss is perfectly honest, and a very reasonable explanation for not wanting to get yourself sloshed each day after work. That and the fact it makes the commute home a bit more dicey when you’re blind drunk trying to figure out where you live.

sliceswiththings's avatar

When I don’t want to drink I say “I’m on my period so everything hits me extra hard!” That usually shuts them up.

poisonedantidote's avatar

@sliceswiththings If I told him I’m on my period it would totally shut him up, guaranteed, hehe.

Cruiser's avatar

@poisonedantidote I used to smoke the weed and vodka became a very good friend of mine. In moderation for well deserved recreation either can be a treat. You wouldn’t be here letting it all hang out unless you wanted words in return…just be mindful of what YOU want to do not what others may expect you to do! You seem to have a lot going on in your life…you need to be the Captain of your life and no one else!

Rarebear's avatar

“How can I stop him giving me booze each night.”.

Are you kidding? It’s your responsibility, not your boss. You don’t want to drink? Don’t drink. You say, “No thanks” and get a Coke instead. Man up for fucks sake.

ninjacolin's avatar

Drink slower, my friend.
By the time it’s time to leave, you should have a quarter of a glass left.

Pandora's avatar

Tell him you appreciate it the gesture and wish you can join in but any amount of drinking gives you restless nights and you need a good nights rest to be bright eyed.
I’m sure he will understand if he feels it may affect your work performance.
He’ll just appreciate your concern for your work performance.
(I got this idea because it happens to me. The next day after even one drink, I am dead from lack of sleep. Alcohol will help me to fall asleep but I toss and turn all night long.)

ucme's avatar

Grow a pair & man up fella. He’s your boss not your keeper. Simply tell him you don’t wanna, yes it’s that simple.

everephebe's avatar

Learn how to nurse your whiskey! Savor it.
Don’t drink or sip, just get the tip of your tongue slightly wet you know what I mean?
Or… build up your tolerance. :P

LuckyGuy's avatar

I worked in Japan where it was common to go out drinking to celebrate an event. As the guest of honor, everyone wants to pour you a drink – even if there are 20 of them and one of you. If you drink everything they give you, you will die. They all know this.

The culturally correct response is to take the whiskey, touch it to your lips like you are drinking it and put it down. You leave a full glass, or close to it, in front of you. Also it is acceptable to pour it out into a sink or other glass if nobody sees you. Seriously.

(Do you think he is trying to cheer you up?)

roundsquare's avatar

I agree with the assert yourself thing. But, if you feel like your boss deserves a treat, find a better way to give him one. The two are independent though.

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