Hi there you, or should I say me. The following letter contains spoilers, don’t worry, it’s too soon for you to understand that joke yet.
You don’t know me, because I don’t exist yet. This is a letter from the future to your self, I am writing to you from 14 years in the future.
Around about now you have just won the Balearic Island Karate competition for Kumite and are now starting to train for the Spanish Championship in a years time.
You need to keep training. Maria Antonia is not as interested in you as you are in her, and she will eventually dump you for a guy called Antonio. In 10 years she will be spending all her time looking after her kids and working at her bar, forget her.
Don’t go out looking for other girls either, none of it works out. In 14 years time you are going to be fat and hooked on weed, yes, I know you are anti-smoking, but just trust me on this one. I’m writting this letter to you on a Sunday, because the gym is closed. Normally I would be spending my time trying to undo all the damage you did, but today you have nothing better to do but sit around craving a joint while you wait to go back to work.
That reminds me, you should probably start learning to talk in front of people, and perhaps juggle or play an instrument. Hehehe, I know that would scare the shit out of you, but don’t worry, it’s all ok, working on stage is not as scary as you think it is.
You should probably stop wasting time with JavaScript and DHTML, It’s all about a thing called PHP now. You do end up working in computers for a while, you even develop your own software at one point, but now there is a thing called Google, and the internet is very different. You wont be able to make a living the way you think you can, because you simply wont be able to compete. Everyone will have internet access, some will even have it on their phone and fridge, it’s quite interesting yet also crap.
These are some days you probably want to spend at home:
- 16th Jul 2011
- 14th Sep 2009
- 22nd Aug 2007
- 31st Dec 1999
- 18th Jan 1998
Also, you will want to take note of this:
Tuesday June 21st 2011… 17, 20, 35, 49, 50. [3] [4]
Friday June 24th 2011….... 5, 16, 20, 30, 41. [6] [11]
Tuesday June 28th 2011…. 15, 16, 30, 44, 50. [2] [3]
Friday July 1st 2011…....... 8, 11, 23, 31, 46. [8] [9]
Tuesday July 5th 2011…... 11, 28, 29, 47, 49. [1] [5]
Friday July 8th 2011…...... 12, 13, 23, 40, 49. [7] [10]
Tuesday July 12th 2011…. 17, 19, 38, 42, 45. [9] [10]
… They are for a thing called “Euro Millions”. Lottery Numbers.
I would give you some results closer to your time, but you will just blow it all away on stupid stuff and defeat the purpose of this letter. However, I will throw you a bone. When you go and visit Michael on the isle of man, you will go to a casino. When you eventually decide to bet on the roulette table for the 1st time, bet $100 bucks, and leave the $100 chip there for a second spin. Thats all you are getting, and don’t try to be greedy because I have made it so that it will backfire if you try to bet more. Trust me.
I know you don’t believe a word of what I’m saying, you probably think this is a hoax. Well guess again numb nuts. I have proof.
1— I know how you got that scratch that you are nursing, you fucking idiot.
2— In about 3 months time you are going to be punched in the face and have a broken nose.
3— Berna, Pablo and Sergio are all dead by next year.
4— Hot water bottle, Lego, Night, Spider. (stop checking for mind reading devices).
Anyway, that’s all you need to know for now, I will leave you to your training and warhammer. Oh yea, don’t let mom give away your army, those things are worth a fair bit in the future.
