Want to play the Ad game?

Pickled

Poets & Writers

Three for the price of two.

Frozen

2012 Prius

make best offer

Pre-owned

asteroid belt

Buyer responsible for pick up.

Locally-Grown

-Ups

Guaranteed ripe or your money back!

Water Resistant

college freshman (not wet behind the ears)

…offer to clean pools.

Partially Flacid

Adult Actor

Buying a “stiff” drink

Critically acclaimed

never won an award

until he made his first porn.

thought it was corn

buyer to remove silks

Boil lightly.

Now available

For the first time in America’s South

I’m having a hard time sorting out where one ad ends and the next begins. :(

@snowberry:
1)Now available

2)For the first time in America’s South

3)???

They’re in sets of three.

@cprevite Yeah I know, but some of them seem to run on into the others, and I can’t sort them out unless I go back up to the top and work down. For clarity I think they need to end with some sort of punctuation. It’s a fun idea though.

for a limited time

Fresh healthy New England deer ticks $20 a dozen.

I’m going to label what I say with a number, for which part in the ad it is, to avoid confusion.
Ex: Large fresh (1)
Canadian Mounties (2)
Discount for first five customers! (3)

Now in orange flavor, (1)

Blueberries (2)

The Blornge! Berry, berry strange. (3)

Very Dead (1)

Sea (2)

slugs standing at stud (3)

Voice-activated (1)

Pincushions (2)

No refunds (3)

Slightly Wrinkled (1)

Extra Terestrial (2)

Comes with Fully Functional Flying Saucer! (3)

Fluther people (1)

Extremely Horny (2)

Take as many as you want (3)

jam packed piggy bank (1)

As seen on Tv (2)

Available for companion services (3)

Clumping litter (1)

slightly used (2)

Buy one, get the rest free (3)

Television huxster (1)

And Former Evangelist (2)

is looking for actress for new magic act (3)

Used gift wrappers (1)

101 Uses! Chop into confetti, fold into personalized envelopes or make a bag for your unsightly wife’s face! (2)

Doubles as a condom (3)

Day old oatmeal (1)

fit for Republicans (2)

But Democrats will benefit as well (3)

Aged Bengal tiger (1)

prefers small children (2)

as lunch (3)

(Thanks for numbering them..it’s much clearer and MUCH funnier now!)

Tired of kitties crappin’ on your carpets? (1)

Caroline’s Cork Company Introduces… (2)

the great “butt sealer” (3)

Frozen Jellies (1)

Two to a pack (2)

Eat ‘em on whole wheat toast! It’s great for the digestion! (3)

Family of Wild Turkeys (1)

Free to avid hunter (2)

Catch ‘em yourself. No hunting.

For sale: Dog with rabies. (1)

Suitable for use as a guard dog. (2)

Just keep a gun handy, and don’t forget to name him “Old Yeller”. (3)

Baby Vulture (1)

Only interested in miniature corpses (2)

Please don’t feed it at night (3)