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TheCouncil's avatar

Have you ever taken someone back after they betrayed you?

Asked by TheCouncil (380points) May 2nd, 2008 from iPhone

And was it worth it?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

29 Answers

amandaafoote's avatar

Yes, and in the end…no, it was definitely not worth it.

Mtl_zack's avatar

i have, but everyone says im too forgiving. then, i dumped them for good, and all is well. here are the details of the decision:

TheHaight's avatar

yes, I have.. And it definately was worth it. You don’t just take someone back so easily- they need to prove it to you with all their heart. Because if they arent, they’re not really sorry, are they??

jaded88's avatar

When I was in the 8th grade my best friend (at the time) spread a bunch of rumors about me while I was out of school for about a month, when I went back to school everyone hated me for the last 3 months of school and I actually just stopped going the last month because I was sick of dealing with it. But I forgave her a year later and was friends with her for a couple years after that, I even let her move in with me when her mom abandoned her and her grandparents wouldn’t let her live with them (I understand why now), I even hooked her up with a job and she repaid me by stealing from me, my family, my job and she even tried to steal my moms social security card. I will never be friends with that bitch again and she better hope I never run into her on the street somewhere because I will beat the shit of her.

delirium's avatar

Yeah…. and I very very sadly regretted it.

peedub's avatar

I don’t hold grudges very well but I feel like some people consistently let me down in the same way, every time. I usually let it go on for some time until I no longer speak to the person.

kawaii_ninja's avatar

Yes, and i continue to take her back. It’s never worth it in the end, but because of my situation it would be even worse to just leave her alone.

Plus she’s so annoying when she apologises. I just can’t help it!! >.<

indicatebound's avatar

Right now I am trying to but the person will not even speak to me. Three and a half years of my life with this person and now I’ve found they’ve someone new and won’t speak to me. It’s been some 60 days of torture. In fact, same person had betrayed me some years ago, so maybe these people saying it’s a bad idea are on to something ;)

kevbo's avatar

Not since my HS girlfriend kissed a friend of mine.

Anymore, it’s very easy for me to find just cause to write someone off.

jrpowell's avatar

I’m with Kevbo on this one. The only time I was screwed over and accepted it was when a good friend hooked up with a girl I liked and he knew it.. He cheated on his girlfriend to hook up with the girl I liked. (and it was beyond having a crush on her and he knew it) I never talked to her again but my friendship with him remained for a few years. I could never trust him again.

Like kevbo I have a easy time writing people off.

stephen's avatar

whats the betrayal

wildflower's avatar

I’ve forgiven/gotten over betrayals, but depending on the circumstances, it can change the relationship to that person.
Family and close friends have done things I saw as betrayal to me, but given a cooling down period and some rational thought, I could see how it came about and was able to move past it.

Romantic relationships, I’ve never been able to repair/continue after a betrayal – it affected the trust too much.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

I’ve given people chances on simple things but those little things add up in the end. People come and go in your life. Only the ones that would take a bullet for me or vice versa would I ever give a second chance to.

richardhenry's avatar

No, I’ve never taken them back. But at the same time, I’ve not yet had a particularly serious relationship, so I don’t think I’m in the same position as those who have.

hearkat's avatar

I have… in my current relationship, as well as previous ones. I do believe that people can change. Obviously, my previous relationships didn’t work out, but it wasn’t because I was betrayed by them over again. In my current relationship, he has made a clear, conscious effort to prove his intentions to me; and he is fully aware that he won’t get another chance with me if he deceives me again.

boffin's avatar

Quoting Dr. Phil here…
“The best predictor of future behavior, is past behavior”....
And to answer the question posted….
I would have, even was willing to forgive. Glad now that the option was picked up….
Hindsight is always 20/20

scamp's avatar

I did when I was young and dumb. Now that I am older and wiser I won’t repeat the mistake. Trust is a big issue for me. When trust is gone, so am I.

figbash's avatar

Yes, multiple people and I have regretted every instance. Once they get away with it, it sets a precedent and if they screw up again, it’s much easier for them to shrug it off as a “you should have expected it” instance.

peedub's avatar

@figgaro- What if a guy dumps you before going on tour, would you take him back?

Randy's avatar

I have. I wouldn’t sat that i regretted it, but I did realize that it wasn’t the right move for me to make. To this this day, I would do anything for this girl and will always be there for her, but I will never try to make something out of something that isn’t there.

I don’t know your situation but be careful in whatever it is that you choose to do.

Britcraft86's avatar

Yes I have and they ended up just cheating on me. If they have the signs of bad temper or can be controlling or jealous they are bad signs. Run far away.

skgskgskg22's avatar

I have. I believe in forgive and forget. You only live once. Why make your time miserable?

Britcraft86's avatar

skgskgskg22— how can you forgive and forget, i tried that and they did the same thing they did to betray me, it’s best to just move on and find someone else to be happy with or stay single for a while and hang out with friends. what do you think

skgskgskg22's avatar

Well if they do it again then they definatly weren’t worthy of forgiveness. Only if it’s sincere will it work. And not only with relationships but with friendships also.

jewels10's avatar

Yes and for the remaining year or so of our relationship I spent defending myself because he was so insane thinking I was going to “seek revenge” on him for what he did to me! It was one of the
most miserable times of my life.

skgskgskg22's avatar

Hmm that sucks. But at least you have moved on and learned from your bad experience.

punkrockworld's avatar

Yes I have and regretted it so much. That’s why I would tell everyone that if someone betrays you,it simply means that they don’t want good things for you. And sometimes it’s hard to imagine but there are some jealous, weird people in this world. Think about it… real friends don’t do **** like that.

SeekerSeekiing's avatar

I have, but only after knowing that they ‘learned something’ from the last episode…and they were sincerely sorry. And it’s turned out great, we’ve been friends for eons…and they also now know that I have boundaries. If it happened again, if a person could hurt me again, KNOWING how much it hurt the 1st time [and they’d know, cause I’d tell them] then they are someone I would not want to continue in my circle of friends.

La_chica_gomela's avatar

For me, there’s a very large difference between ‘forgiving someone’ and ‘taking them back’. For me, forgiveness mean I’m not angry anymore, and that I’ve made peace with what happened, even if I haven’t told them. Taking them back means expecting them to not do it again, and for a lot of people in a lot of situations, that’s just not realistic.

I have forgiven most of the people who I felt wronged me, but only taken a few back. I usually regret it, and now I never take anyone back in a romantic relationship. There’s always a reason it ends, and those reasons don’t just go away.

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