General Question

Aethelwine's avatar

How do you deal with conflict?

Asked by Aethelwine (41701points) August 8th, 2011

Do you take the high road or do you take it to the lowest level?

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32 Answers

woodcutter's avatar

Not enough to go by, but in absence of that it would depend on what the other party does.

Jellie's avatar

I am very proud to say I take the high road when I come across conflict.

Ex. I had a friend, well ex-friend now, who spread all sorts of crap about me which was lies and made up. I told her off and ignored her after that. After that I hear that she hasn’t quit. So I drafted and email to her and wrote down all her dirty secrets that I knew AND had proof of that I could easily circulate. But I didn’t send it. I just kept it in my drafts and ignored her. Now she was recently telling a mutual friend how she thinks I’m a lovely person etc. Bi*ch!

Blondesjon's avatar

Hulk smash.

Aethelwine's avatar

edited: “How do you deal with conflict”.

Hibernate's avatar

Depends on the person whom I am in conflict with. If it’s a friend or family member it takes time because most do not have patience when we try to resolve it.

If it’s another person I just let one pass by me.

KateTheGreat's avatar

I try to avoid it like the plague.

But if I am in a conflict with someone who I think is scum, I take the low road. I need to work on that.

Aethelwine's avatar

@KatetheGreat You and I are very similar. I avoid it as much as possible, but there are times when enough is enough.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@jonsblond You see, I can stand up for myself most of the time and I can get bitchy, but I really hate being in a conflicting position. It’s always uncomfortable and stressful. Plus, everyone’s getting hurt that way and that is no way to live.

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woodcutter's avatar

I saved a job today that went bad because the person I originally dealt with has shit for people skills. The wife of the guy got with me and now it’s back on track. I had already written that one off just to cut my losses , something I really hate doing as a matter of principle. They were a fly’s dick away from me taking them to court over this. They knew I was there ready to light the fuze on that one and it gave them a different outlook. I call it “The Utility of Force.”

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shrubbery's avatar

It depends on the situation. Who is involved, what is at stake, how important the issue is to me…

I’m a stubborn person but if I’m at odds with another stubborn person most of the time I decide that the conflict is not worth it.

I don’t like conflict, or to fight with anyone. I usually back down. I don’t necessarily cave and agree with the other person, I just walk away and leave them be.

The only time I will vehemently get involved if it is something I am really passionate about and the other person is being extremely offensive and need to be called out on it.

stardust's avatar

I cannot bear conflict so I tend to avoid it as much as I possibly can. Having said that, I’m not going to go down quietly.

augustlan's avatar

I’m usually calm and try to remain logical. Exceptions are arguments with my husband and children… sadly, I can totally lose my cool if they go on too long. I don’t think I’m ever petty or revengeful, though. I hope.

rooeytoo's avatar

A while back I asked a question about how to deal with a co worker who is a jerk. Well I reached my limit last week, over a really insignificant matter. I called her a dumb bitch. I know, I know, I acted stupidly, unprofessionally and I half regret it and half don’t give a damn. Strangely enough I am now like a cult hero in the work place because this woman is pretty much universally disliked. So that is how I dealt with it. It was really bad behavior on my part. She said don’t ever talk to me like that and I said then don’t tell me I don’t know what I am talking about. Those 2 sentences were repeated 3 times, then she walked out the door. Jeez you would think I would know better, heheheh, but I lost my temper and the first thing I do is call the name that I am silently thinking. It could have been worse, I have some really creative names for this woman in my head!

Cruiser's avatar

Conflict resolution is all about communicating and will vary greatly for each situation. It can go from “oh I didn’t understand that you felt that way” followed by hugs and kisses… if “I ever see your face again I will boil it in hot oil!!”

In either situation if there is a genuine desire to not fight about whatever it is, attempting to understand why the other person is upset and embracing your own pain as your and not attempting to inflict that pain on the other party goes a long way towards solving that conflict.

sophiesword's avatar

you know it really depends on who the person is. I mean there are some real bi*ches in school and I would tear their limbs apart if they so much as even touched me. But that’s because there are some people in the world who need to be taught a lesson and they don’t really care for the high road, hell they don’t even know what that is. If it’s someone else then I mostly let it go. I just think to myself its not worth my time or energy.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

If being non-confrontational means taking the ‘high road’, then that puts me on the low trail a fair amount of the time. What irritates me is that being confrontational has such a negative connotation. There have been too many positive end results witnessed by two people or groups that addressed their concerns, even if it was uncomfortable at the time.

SuperMouse's avatar

When my husband and I are going at it we are both down in the muck almost immediately. We are working hard on improving out communication skills to keep that from happening, but it is a long, slow process. With almost everyone else I tend to stay calm and take the high road of clear concise communication in hopes of coming together somewhere in the middle.

john65pennington's avatar

My stand is this… life, there are some things you can correct and carry on. Other things cannot be corrected, so not to worry about it.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

It really depends on the conflict and whether I care for the person involved. If I do, it’ll be about repair rather than destruction. If I don’t, they will be sorry.

wundayatta's avatar

First, I try to ignore the problem. If that doesn’t work, I try to use my problem solving and negotiating skills. If that doesn’t work, I go back to ignoring it. If that doesn’t work, I stop interacting with the person I have the conflict with.

Blondesjon's avatar

hmmm . . .

woodcutter's avatar


linguaphile's avatar

My first reaction for so long: crawl under a rock. I totally withdrew, disappeared, or ran away. But, am working on it this year and think I’m doing pretty good!

On the other hand, if I’m fighting for someone else (abused kid, hurt friend) I am right there in the front, assertive, strong, upfront. No high or low road- just right in the front.

athenasgriffin's avatar

I try to ignore and avoid. And then I try to talk it out. And then I try to intimidate. Then I try to bribe. Usually one of them works.

Sunny2's avatar

I don’t fight unless I care very, very much about the outcome. There are few things I care that much about. I also don’t fight if it’s an issue I can’t do anything about. A LOT of things fall in that category. You could call it the high road, but I’d call it the serenity road. Ommmmmmm.

wordsmythe's avatar

Umm… today, I dealt with some conflicts head on. I have about 4 more conflicts to deal with, but business hours closed, so will deal with them on Monday. That felt great!


When there’s a conflict, I don’t like to exacerbate the situation by standing there and playing with the person. I am normally a calm and collected person who uses a smile and logic to settle things. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn’t.

harple's avatar

I turn into a shivering wreck, I find conflict so SO hard… I deal the best with conflict I don’t know is coming. If I know it is coming, and have time to think about it, that’s when I need to curl up into a ball. Goodness, I wish I was a hedgehog!

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