Is this type of hate normal?
Sorry. I had to edit my question.
A guy met young woman and her family. He just moved in her area to manage a volunteer group. He has a wonderful wife. They start to make good progress with the group. The guy is friend with young woman’s aunt and sister. The guy and his wife compliments young woman on her good conduct and cheerful personality. Sometimes the guy tries to offer assistance to young woman. The young woman accepted at first. However, as time goes by, young woman declines offers, not wanting to seem needy and be a burden on guy and wife. Later, young woman live alone. As times goes by, guy starts to draw away in his communication with young woman. Then the guy starts to seem sad around young woman and ignores her. Then later, new member join the group. It’s a female. The new member likes a lot of attention, and soon enough, makes friendship with guy and wife. Now guy feels he has good friendships. The guy starts to cause division in the group. The guy keeps close friendship with new member and returning members that is friends with new member. Yet, there are times when he would just go up so close behind the young woman, and staring over her, which is very strange. The guy tries to exclude former young woman from group activities and giving her a hard time, while showing favor to his friends alone. The guy’s personality starts to show strange to some group member. The young woman starts to keep a low profile. The guy seems confused why young woman is so quiet. What could possibly cause guy to be like this? If they continue like this, what could end up happening?
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11 Answers
I want to answer your question, but I really don’t know how to answer it.
I may be wrong, but it seems to me that the man has a thing for the young women, and she doesn’t feel the same. I think the most likely thing that might happen is that the woman yells ‘Get the hell away from me you creep!!!’
I’m not really seeing that “hate” in your question. I see a young man who is interested maybe a tad too much. He needs to back off because he’s making the lady nervous it seems.
if I have the facts right
Guy sounds like a creeper. Both young ladies should find another group to belong too.
I’m assuming that you think the guy is hating the first girl in the tale. I don’t think he is hating but rather sulking. He didn’t get the attention he wanted from the girl and is using the second girl to make her feel isolated.
Now without knowing the details about the kind of volunteer work he is doing it really is hard to say. Is the young lady a loner and maybe he is trying to help her feel more social but he feels she is withdrawing and he doesn’t want to push her because he feels she will go into her shell?
If that is the case, maybe he feels if he gives his attention to someone else she may decide to join in at her own pace.
If he is working at a home for the mentally challenged than maybe he was close to someone because he was overseeing something they where doing that is difficult to master.
No, it seems very unusual.
@Pandora : the young woman is very smart and has a good relationship with almost all the the group members. she’s not the sulky type. she seems very friendly with everyone. He has taken some privileges away from her, without using group guidelines for that. In other words, there is not legal reason that any of the other group members would see for him doing this to her. But it seems the other members are wondering about his strange behvaior. they don’t seem to know about how he treats her, although some have noticed she’s the only one he does not seem to interact with, only a few times he says something to her. But he seems to be showing favoritism to the new woman and a few other people. But, at the same time, he is making sure the first young woman is so far from being in his circle. NOTE: this is not volunteer group for mentally challenged or hospital. It’s an educational group. He knows the young woman is contracted to be in it for a certain time. But he does not know for how long.
Where is the hate? Sounds like a pathetic attempt for a married man to flirt with a kid. So, what’s new?
He just can’t accept the fact that he’s not attractive anymore to this former young woman and do some terrible things to make this innocent lady to regret her decision. He might also love dependent women, especially toward him!
By your question I get it that you are that “young woman”. And If I were you I’d either leave the group or talk to his wife because of his unprofessional conduit. When he liked you and wanted to spend time he never took the time to see the mess in which he’s involving himself. When you refused him he got offended and now when another woman is paying attention to him you’ll end up being the bad person in this situation.
If you do like helping out there you should stay but not before explaining this to her wife.
If you don’t like it there so much be the smart person and just walk away from that. [sooner or later that other woman will end up in your situation].
And if I got it wrong and you are not th young woman you have to excuse me but the idea still stands. The only person in this situation who “suffers” is the wife because I don’t think that husband has a lot of time left for her with all the volunteer work and the other women.
Do I understand your post correctly?
A man and his wife kind of run a group. You joined the group, got the attention of the husband, his attention waned and then turned to a newcomer woman?
Why don’t you ask his wife if this is common? If I were observing (and understanding your post better) then I’d say the husband often takes up flirtations with new members and then moves along.
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