Is it better ettiquite for a man's name or woman's name to go first?

This is, at least what emilypost.com says about the business of addressing correspondence, including couples, including the order of names, where it states the following:

NOTE: Traditionally, a man’s name preceded a woman’s on an envelope address, and his first and surname were not separated (Jane and John Kelly). Nowadays, the order of the names—whether his name or hers comes first—does not matter and either way is acceptable. The exception is when one member of the couple ‘outranks’ the other—the one with the higher rank is always listed first.

I don’t think it matters too much. I would put the name of the person I know better first.

There is also a cadence with how you say a couple’s name, usually, as in you will usually say, “Joe and Mary” or “Mary and Joe.” I would go whichever one you usually say anyway if you have no other criteria to go on.

man’s name first

I address the person I have a relationship with first, i.e., when writing to my sister and her husband, I write my sister’s name first; but when writing to my brother and his wife, I write my brother’s name first. And this doesn’t cover couples who live together but aren’t married or women who keep their birth name after marriage, but I do the same in those cases with their appropriate last names. I’m a bit shocked that these kinds of antiquated social rules are still of concern to anyone though. It’s so rare when anyone takes time and effort to write anything that actually needs addressing today, most people would just appreciate the fact that you wrote them something and not think twice about whose name went first on the address..

Traditionally it should be the man’s name first. Mr Joe Smith & Mrs Mary Jones. But you’re writing to them casually I would address the letter first to whichever one you know the best. I don;t think it really matters much these days, unless you’re writing to members of the English aristocracy.

I always put the woman’s name first. Emily Post and PC be damned!

I usually write things out to “The Jones Family” or something along those lines…Mostly because I find putting the man’s name in front of the woman’s archaic.

@SpatzieLover What if you’re not addressing the whole family?

Mary & Joe Jones. whomever I know best goes first

Ladies’ first.

That was intentional.

What about same sex couples?

Coin toss.

@KatawaGrey Probably the more butch-looking one if it’s lesbeans, the more masculine one if it’s dudes.