Is it offensive for kids to give used toys as presents?

The other question I asked today mentioned my daughter gathering her own toys to give to another girl as birthday gifts. My husband pointed out that giving used gifts would be insulting.

Well, no, it normally isn’t done and I do see his point. Usually I, or we, go to a store, pick out a gift and wrap it. No big deal to my daughter even if she thinks it is a great gift. It just doesn’t mean much. Of course I want the birthday (or whatever event) kid to like what they get.

The more I thought about it, though, it seemed to be much more meaningful. For a young child who is being taught generosity and sharing, it is really special for them to go into their own stuff and give away things they think are fun and have personal value. In their eyes, it is the ultimate sharing and it is a very kind gesture. Telling them no is essentially saying, “that’s a great gift, but it’s not good enough.” I want to encourage that thoughtfulness.

I know it can be explained (what would you rather get on your birthday?) but it still has me thinking about the values we are teaching our children. Should we tell our children it is super special if a friend gives them one of their own favorite toys instead of buying something new?

What is your opinion?