Would you trust daycares, babysitters, or nannies to take care of your child?

A lot of people use them because they have to. Plus people need the jobs. Not many are going to go through the trouble of hurting your kid and risk hard jail time when the whole point is to make money.

Ummmmm no! I struggle to trust anyone else looking after my kids, however I have always gone with the fact that if they enjoy going and like the social side of interacting with other kids then I have to go with what makes them happy. But I would never ever put my children in the care of one single person, because that’s what I don’t trust. I would rather day care/nursery where there are other kids and multiple staff.

Family. Then, if possible, a child psychologist as a back up. So far, just family…one grandma.

I have in the past and would do it again in the future if necessary. I don’t just trust anyone though. I do my research and check out the place before my child ever steps foot into it. My older son has been in several different places (due to moving all around). My youngest hasn’t been in one yet because my husband is now a SAHD.

If you are not willing to make the sacrifice to be a stay-at-home parent, then you by default are placing your most valuable asset in the hands of others. I would never go for that myself. Simply relying on “they are fellow workers, just trying to earn a paycheck”, is not enough. In this area, a veteran cop was busted for having sex with at least two under-age boys, that they know of. Anyone at anytime can do what you never expected them to. I guess it comes down to if making that extra $15,000, etc. a year is worth the risk. I will tighten my belt, and my hugs around my children.

Yes, why not? Thousands of children are in day care every day of the year and it doesn’t hurt them. Most care givers are responsible and reliable.

Depends on the provider, of course. I wasn’t thrilled with having to do it, but I have used daycare (both a home-based one and a center) for short periods of time in the past.

I have a great babysitter who I found because she babysat for my daughter’s half-sister. She is kind and all the other good things you can say about babysitters and my daughter loves her, and has been going there for the past 3½ years. For the past year, I supplemented that with a pre-school, where my daughter goes two days a week, and starting now with this school year, will go three days a week. It’s good for children to be with someone else, someone who has other children for the child to play with on a regular basis, and to be in school where they can socialize with a variety of children. The important thing about picking any provider, whether it’s a babysitter or a school/daycare center, is visiting it unannounced and trusting it. What made my babysitter easy is that I had the friend that went there first and so she came with very good recommendations.

Are you kidding? You want to stay locked in your home until the kid goes to college? You have to trust people. Daycare folks are professionals. In many cases they are better than parents at caring for kids. Caveat: that is a professional certified daycare center—not one of those people who takes kids into their home.

We got almost all of our babysitters from the ranks of the daycare folks. We used the ones the kids liked and it worked out fabulously. Their favorite was a senior in college and went on to get a law degree (they were devastated when she left to go to law school). She was very friendly and loving, but also strict and my son was in love with her from the time he was 3 months old. He would do anything for her.

We also used a couple of the neighbor’s kids, and both worked out well, too. Both were very trustworthy and remain friends years after.

If you vet your babysitters proberly, there should be no problem. They you can have a night out every once in a while. We even had an overnight night out a few times when my parents took care of them.

There is evidence that shows that kids who go to daycare have an advantage over other kids. They learn, on average, better people skills at an earlier age, and this advantage persists throughout life. In addition, they are exposed to more learning stimulous than one parent can provide. They are also exposed to more diseases, which builds a stronger immune system, I believe.

The idea that a SAHM is always better is a myth. I think it makes mothers feel better, like they are being better mothers, but it isn’t true. It’s not bad, nor good. It’s just different. I think kids that stay at home learn different things and grow up differently. However, as far as the metrics of society, they don’t do quite as well, I don’t think. Certainly, daycare kids don’t do worse. So at best, it’s a wash.

That means it’s really a preference. If you want to stay at home, then do it. If you want to work and put your kids in daycare, do it. There is no real harm either way. The differences are slight.

I think that if you can’t trust someone else with your kid, that’s on you, not on the quality of daycare or babysitting that is available. You can always find good care for your kids if you exercise due diligence. I would urge you not to let your kids hold you captive if you want to get out or get away sometimes. If you want to spend all your time with babies and toddlers, then go ahead. That’s your preference. It wasn’t mine, nor was it my wife’s.

Sometimes it’s a choice to do so, sometimes not. I’m thinking you don’t have kids, @Hypocrisy_Central, that you can make such a firm and absolute statement like that. I’m afraid that I, and most of the parents I know, don’t live in that particular black and white universe.

GA to you all who recognize that different people make different choices for different reasons, and it’s not always cut-and-dried.

No. My kids are grown but I never left them with babsitters or nannies. They went to preschool, not day care.

@wundayatta I think kids that stay at home learn different things and grow up differently. However, as far as the metrics of society, they don’t do quite as well, I don’t think.

Wow. Really? You must not know many children who come from homes with a stay-at-home parent. The kids aren’t locked up in a basement with no access to society. There are many opportunities to get out with your children and get them involved with other children. If a parent is home with the children they have more time to take the kids out and experience new things. (Do you think stay-at-home parents just sit on the couch and cuddle with their kids, not letting go until they go to school?) Also, being a stay-at-home parent is for the children. There was a time when a stay-at-home parent was normal. No one ever questioned why a parent stayed home, and they certainly were never called selfish. It’s called taking care of your child.

Why bring a child into this world if you can’t be there for them. I understand many parents need to work, but there are also many who can get by with just one income. I feel it’s selfish and hurts the kids because one of the parents chooses to work because they “need to get away from the kids to be sane”. That is very selfish. imo And you don’t need to stay locked in your home just because you decide to stay home with the kids. Get a sitter for a few hours a week so you can take a class, bike or go out to dinner. Then get back home to take care of those kids you decided to have. They grow up soon enough and will be out of the house before you know it.

Yes, I could and have trusted babysitters and daycare with my children when we needed their services, but I felt the little extra income I was making being away from home wasn’t worth it for our family. My children did much better when they had a parent home to be there for them. No one will give a child the love and attention they need more than the parent.

@jonsblond HEAR HEAR! <with thunderous clapping>

@jonsblond I’m sorry that I don’t remember the studies that say this, nor where I heard about them, but I’m not making it up. According to whatever metric they use, children of SAHMs are not as successful as those who go to quality daycare situations. I suspect the magnitude of the difference is small, but I believe it is there.

I’m sure you are a fantastic mom and that your kids are doing very well. There is always a lot of variation in outcomes when we seek to measure anything like this. Just because, on average sahm kids don’t do quite as well doesn’t mean that any individual SAHM family might not be doing stellarly, as in your family.

@wundayatta @jonsblond Just because one parent doesn’t work doesn’t mean that a child might not go to day school. Many mothers in my community do not work, but most of the children do go to day school. They need it for entrance into a competitive school system.

@wundayatta To say on average sahm kids don’t do quite as well is an insult. It’s impossible to know this average.

And I’m sure if I took the time I could find many studies that show otherwise. Studies that show children who attend daycare are more aggressive, less healthy or do poorly in school. Because I have heard that before, I just don’t remember where I read that, and I’m not making it up.

@jonsblond I think about a year ago Nightline did a thing on home schooling, and one of the talking heads said that by the preteen years those who have been home schooled are a grade and a half a head of those who were in school all their lives. The home school kids, which usually mean they had a SAHM more than not, were not held back by their classmates, if they were smart enough to move faster.

You guys make it all sound so simple. I worked, and I stayed at home. My child was home-schooled, private schooled and public schooled. I did this as a single parent. The parents who are genuinely interested and involved with their kids, whether they are working or stay-at-home are the parents that do a good job. This opinion is the result of an educated intelligent person observing with great care the workings of many kinds of families, no scientific double-blind study here, which unfortunately negates its worth to so many who frequent the site. You’ve gotten to know me a bit and you know KatawaGrey. As exceptional as, of course, I’d like to think we are wink wink we’re not that special or that different from most families. Be involved with your kids, let them know, whether you’re stay-at-home or not, that they are your first priority.

@JilltheTooth well said =)

Thanks, @jonsblond !

@jonsblond I can’t help what you are insulted by or not. I can assure you that the authors of the study had no idea of your existence and had no intention of insulting you. If you want to take it otherwise, that’s on you. You say your kids are doing very well and I believe you.

I don’t see how you would be insulted by a study that probably suggests there is a lot of variation in the outcomes of children—some worse than the average and some better than average. Average, of course, is in the middle somewhere and I don’t know exactly where that is, nor do I know the metric used to determine it. In general, I don’t buy into these metrics anyway.

I just googled “Studies comparing children in day care vs. stay at home moms” and I saw an interesting paper from ohio.edu and some other interesting things that seem to tilt more in the direction of children doing better when in quality day care vs. stay at home moms. I am at work now and no time to provide links but I read that children in quality day care have better “cognitive skills, intellectual skills, social skills and social comfort levels.” I can tell you my daughter has learned so much in the last year being in a NYS accredited preschool. When she is with a friend who has a SAHM, my daughter can count to 20 and the friend cannot. This is an example, and of course all children are different, but she really has flourished with the preschool.