Women, would you rather be the ”eye candy” gal near every man checks out, or the woman men look right through as if you were not there?

I work in an environment where women (any woman, not just the attractive ones) are oggled and stared at ridiculously. It makes me so uncomfortable and angry I sometimes wish I had a gun. The worst part is it is completely shameless, they won’t turn way if they know you notice them staring or if you stare back. So I think I’d rather be over looked. The other option makes me want to go all Brunce Banner.

Is there no golden mean? Not ogled and leered at, not ignored. Simply admired or noticed!

Neither of those options sound appealing to me. I wouldn’t want either extreme.

@ZEPHYRA
That would be ideal however that would defeat the purpose of the question. Everyone would chose that.

Unless you were wondering out loud… which I just realized is probably what you were doing.

I’ve been both at different times in my life. On the whole, I think I’d choose to be ignored (on my looks alone).

I have been both- and I choose the former

I’m not a woman so I won’t reply. But I’d like to see some replies ^^

Neither extreme is ideal, but of the choices I’d prefer to be beautiful.

I was going to say “a happy medium.” However, given a strict black or white either-or choice, I would pick beautiful, because it would be confidence building, whereas the other extreme might be a blow to self esteem.

I hate the concept of being a sex object. 30 years ago I was in the Army Reserve. I wore fatigues pretty much every drill. They were ugly as sin and shapeless as a worn out paper bag, but I became quite familiar with guys “undressing me” with their eyes. It’s sick. But the other option you give isn’t much of an option.

@Hypocrisy_Central Why do you make such weird questions?

I’ve been both, although I would say that at my best looking, I’m sure that there were men who didn’t give me a second look and even when at my most un-noticeable extreme some folks do notice (usually old men).
I know it’s just a theoretical question, but it’s highly unlikely that any woman will be desirable to every man or un-noticed by every man.
I’ve had men come on to me when I was 9 months pregnant. What’s up with that?

I’d rather be Frank Sinatra

Kind of an interesting question, but what would be more interesting is to know why people would choose what they choose and what experiences they had that informed these choices.

I just realized that I never really answered the question.
I don’t think that either option is desirable, but being invisible is not so bad when you think about it.

Why continue to ask such arbitrary, limiting and odd questions? The largest part of any Bell curve is the center.

What if they looked past me as though I were no different than a fallen tree or a giant panda?

I would take a second look at lots of pieces of furniture. For example

Eye candy and I tell you exactly why.

Most of my life I’ve been very thin and regarded as attractive. This has gotten me not only the typical eye candy attention from men but also a little edge in getting the attention of men I want to influence such as co workers, bosses, teachers, etc. What may have originated as purely superficial several times has been to my advantage.

On the flipside, there was a period of a few years where I became fat and the difference in how people treated me or more to the point, overlooked me was eye opening, for sure! I felt invisible, overlooked, ignored, ostracized, yadda yadda. As much as it was painful, I learned a lot about people and also my myself, stripped of what I’d taken for granted.

@Hibernate Which type of women would you want to date or couple with?

@ANef_is_Enuf Neither extreme is ideal, but of the choices I’d prefer to be beautiful. Psst Who says that you are not already. Maybe a Jelly or two has told me you are the cat’s meow….and no, I will never name, names, I will go to the grave with that. :-)

@snowberry They were ugly as sin and shapeless as a worn out paper bag, but I became quite familiar with guys “undressing me” with their eyes. I would have to ask, how many other females were in the platoon? A woman that might not get looked at will when the pool of women shrinks; supply and demand. The supply slows down, what few women are there will be more popular. You were in the military so they know you were not overweight and had to be somewhat fit. Those frumpy fatigues might disguise that fact but they didn’t change it. It maybe even added to the wonder of ”just what DO she look like under there?”

@Hypocrisy_Central Why do you make such weird questions? Weird I think not challenging, different, sure. Through out the week I have many different conversations with a vast assortment of people. What they think and how they think it, is not how all of the US thinks it, or even the world. It might not even be the concerted voice of the whole neighborhood. I do not have time nor money to go to the far reaches of the globe to find out what they think on a religious, economic, political, social, etc, issue. I can do that with a click of a mouse via online Q&A communities. There might not be many here from Belize, Ghana, Kazakhstan, The Cook Islands, Geese, Thailand, etc, but there are people from many parts of the world I more than likely will never visit, and they can, and do lend there voices here. Many people don’t get away from the ”happy medium” and IMO that is part of the problem. Until you can think outside-the-box and get to the ends, your brain matter is more on holiday than really working.

@wilma I’ve had men come on to me when I was 9 months pregnant. What’s up with that? Forbidden fruit. The myth that pregnant women should not do it. The thought there is life in that their belly. A couple of reason along those lines.

@wundayatta Kind of an interesting question, but what would be more interesting is to know why people would choose what they choose and what experiences they had that informed these choices. I would have loved to add on that rider, but I thought it was going to be hard enough to keep people focused on the main portion of the question.

@gailcalled The largest part of any Bell curve is the center. To ask a question where logic tells you what the obvious answer would be is a waste of breath. If I have three lots of vehicles each with 15 vehicles in them, one with rusted old cars with bald tires, one with newer two-door coups, nice paint and good rubber, and the last lot with Indy cars in it. If I lined up 35 people and made a bet which lot would empty of cars quicker and I said I wanted to take the lot with the coups in it and you could choose the lot of either old hulks or the Indy cars, would you make that bet? The Bell Curve might as well be the Bell Predictability Curve.

@Hypocrisy_Central I’d go with those who want not to be seen that easy and prefer not to be noticed. They have more to say then just the glamour of being the center of attention. And from my experience this has proven to be true ^^

If it’s a choice between being treated like garbage (because I’m so attractive that people can’t find it in themselves to respect me) and not being acknowledged at all, I think I’d go with the second one.

If I was a woman, I wouldn’t want either extreme.

I wouldn’t want to be ogled or leered at. That’s rude.

But I wouldn’t want to be ignored either.

I’d hope for a happy medium, where I’d catch the occasional momentary glance of my “attributes” from the opposite sex (or the same sex if you swing that way).

Perhaps I’d even want to wear a slinky dress or a low-cut blouse once in a while so as to draw more than a momentary glance :-p

In one way I would love to have the attention of every man checking me out. I have always wondered what it must feel like to be drop dead gorgeous. However I think once experienced it would lose it’s appeal pretty rapidly. I might want to be alone and think to myself. I love being the observer and if I were as gorgeous as all that I would have to start going incognito everywhere like the celebrities do in order to have any peace! (This is not likely to be the case even for a really beautiful woman, however, your scenario states it would be so).
I don’t mind it when men make comments as long as they are not crude, but a steady diet of this would grow quickly tiresome.
On the other hand, being invisible (would I only be invisible to men??) would not be much fun either. Even so, I think I would prefer it because then I could be myself and be left in peace to do my own thing without being constantly harassed. God, I would really miss being desired though! To not be desired by any man at all would be horrible. The feeling of being desired is absolutely intoxicating!
Actually, walking around naked and not being noticed at all would be a pretty interesting situation…..
Funny, after I answered this question I saw a man wearing a hat that said “Person of No Interest” Lol….

I denno. I’m fine with people looking at me and running away, screaming like mad, and throwing their wallets at me.

I’ve been both…all I can really say is now I’m comfortable with the latter, although I’m glad to say I still get second looks sometimes, but no more oogles and whistles and shit. Second look and they say, “O. She’s not 20” and don’t look again. But I don’t know how I’d answer if I’d never experienced the former. So I guess I didn’t really answer the question right. my bad! But how in the hell can you answer this question! @Symbeline I’m right behind you! I’ll catch the wallets! Don’t worry!

@Dutchess_III I’ll run after you if you make off with them!

Jeez, @Symbeline Seems to me you’re going to have to make a serious effort if you are going to make yourself ugly enough for the reaction you hypothesize. More likely people will look at you and come running to you, I think. ;-) You do carry a big stick, right? To fight them off with, you know?

@wundayatta Yeah, like Gabrielle from Xena. Except I act a lot more like Xena.

But who said anything about a hypothesis? XD When I go out in public, I like acting like a zombie. :D

OK Symbeline! You act like Xena The Zombi and I’ll….pick their wallets while you have them…. mesmerized! We’ll get some money yet! I think we got “them” “looking” at us now, don’t you? :)

@Dutchess_III @Symbeline is MINE! You hear? MINE! And none of them others—V, L, B and the rest are gonna steal her away! Unless she has that big stick. I haven’t finished my Kung Fu course, yet. Zombies don’t scare me. I know what they really are! I am Kung Fu Xombie master, first grade of the tenth nintendo!

You can have her as long as I get the wallets!

Oh so I knew it. This is totally a Treasure Island scenario. XD