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YoBob's avatar

Dads, did you experience any unusual changes in perception or personality after your wife gave birth?

Asked by YoBob (12823points) September 9th, 2011

This question got me thinking about the general topic of hormonal/psychological changes in guys after becoming a father.

For me, what I can only describe as the protective instinct was pronounced enough for me to notice, and happened quite suddenly. It was almost like a switch was flipped at the moment of birth.

What about you other Fluther dads out there?

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7 Answers

tom_g's avatar

Becoming a dad created some unexpected changes in me. I have mentioned in other questions here that I was shocked to find I had a huge boost in my protective instinct, and realized that I was capable of doing anything to protect my children. The change was immediate, and it allowed me to connect with the fact that I am as complex a mammal as all of those subjects on those fascinating nature shows.

ucme's avatar

I immediately became Awesome Dad! I’m still a big daft dumb kid, but from the moment I became a daddy, a certain maturity & protective instinct kicked in. I like that…....a lot!

tom_g's avatar

Also, all of those theoretical political and moral beliefs I had entertained when I was younger became much more real. Gay rights wasn’t just something to argue about for kicks and giggles. I was now fighting for the rights of my child, who may be gay. Same goes for reproductive freedom. It all became a bit more personal. Sure, I was pro-choice before. Now, it meant fighting for the right of my daughter to have control over her body. This goes for all issues and things I feel are important (the environment, privacy, etc).

john65pennington's avatar

I immediately went into the mode of “my responsibility has just increased three-fold”.

It’s what I called my “father now-settle down change in my body”.

Babies and a good wife have a way of making this happen.


I became much more “aware” of things going on around me, my wife, and my children. It’s like my “Spidey senses” became heightened. I also noticed I became more sensitive to sounds that resembled my young children’s voices/cries. I would catch the sounds of a child outside. Before I had kids, I couldn’t care less or bothered to notice. I think even my vision was affected——a little kid would immediately “catch my eye”, that is, an unrelated child who even bears a slight resemblance to my own child.

tom_g's avatar


(fatherhood associated with drops in testosterone)


@tom_g That’s a very interesting article. I never heard of that before. So the psychological has an effect on the physical? That may be so. After my first child was born, I did seem to notice my ‘feelings’ kind of changed. Was it the same for you @tom_g?

However, I kind of query the proposal that testosterone “lowers” a man’s immunity. I read in other studies that the hormone boosts a man’s immunity. For example, when a man has sex, his testosterone level increases, which in turn strengthens his overall immune system.

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