General Question

mzgator's avatar

Should you buy your wife a Mother's Day present?

Asked by mzgator (4158points) May 7th, 2008 from iPhone

I am the mother of a daughter and two step daughters. My husband says he will not buy me a present, because I am not his mother. It hurts my feelings, because I am the mother of his child. I am also a good mother. I am not asking for a gift or anything expensive. A home made card or note would be great. It just really hurts my feelings that he doesn’t appreciate me. So… Fellow flutherites… Please give me your honest opinion. Gooch, my husband and a fellow flutherer will see, and maybe he might just surprise me….

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29 Answers

jrpowell's avatar

I would certainly get my wife a gift if I had one and we had children. I’m getting my sister a gift because she helped raise me.

Stop being a fool Gooch. Hire a babysitter and take your wife out for a nice dinner and do some other romantic things you know she would like. Unless this is a big ploy to fool your wife while you have something awesome planned.

BirdlegLeft's avatar

I was going to say if depends if there are children in the picture. In this case there is. You are the mother of his children. At the very least he should help his children make or buy something for you.

And, I realize this question is posted from your perspective, but your husband sounds like a jerk. (I was going to follow with the Minnesotan, “no offense.” But decided against it.)

cheebdragon's avatar

my boyfriend usually gets me something, last year he gave me a zune (microsofts much better version of the iPod) and the year before that he gave me a bmw but it was also a part of my christmas gift because I was at the hospital in labor Christmas eve and didn’t get to go home untill the day after Christmas. I think that your husband could at least just watch the kids for the day so you could do something you want to do.

kevbo's avatar

Dude. Mother’s Day is for honoring mothers, not just your mother. Don’t be stingy with the woman who is helping you raise your daughters. And by stingy, I don’t mean $$$. I mean do something to show you honor and appreciate her contributions as a mother to your daughters. This is a good opportunity for you to do something together with your daughters (who I assume will be doing something) and teach them the importance of showing appreciation for the people who care for you.

cheebdragon's avatar

do you get him something for fathers day?

mzgator's avatar

@cheebdragon..Every year a big dinner and a present. Last year he got an electric smoker. The gift is not always that big, but we always make a big dinner and cards.

cheebdragon's avatar

tom leykis was running his mouth on the radio yesterday telling guys not to get girlfriends or wives gifts. Maybe he got it from the radio?

bulbatron9's avatar

I have already given my wife an awesome patio furniture set! I gave it to her early, since she is still carrying our child. Sunday, I will probably give her some flowers and a card.

Gooch, I hope you make a point to appreciate your wife, who is the mother of your kids!

Let us know how it goes!

Fallstand's avatar

… Just another hallmark holiday.. Appreciate your mother (or wife) everyday!

kevbo's avatar

Actually, it’s been around much longer than Hallmark.

andrew's avatar

Oh gooch. Looks like you’re in for a world of pain. Now fluther is involved.

Let’s hope he makes you a cake, at least.

richmarshall's avatar

Absolutly 100% do something for the mother of your children.

scamp's avatar

My ex husband never used to get me anything for Mother’s day either. He said the same thing…“You’re not my Mother.” That always bothered me. My SO does wonderful things for me on Mother’s day, and we don’t have children together. I also celebrate Father’s day with him even tho he has no kids. he is “daddy” to our pets, and that’s good enough for me.
I agree with kevbo. Mother’s day is to celebrate all mothers, not just your own. so Gooch, the pressure is on. What are you going to get your lovely wife?

Les's avatar

I really think Mother’s day (and Father’s Day for that matter) should be an option. I love my mother and father, but I don’t need one day to show them that I do. I show them I love them when I call them every day, and when I come home for Christmas and summer vacation. I show them I love them when I send them “out of the blue” cards in the middle of July. Showing someone you care for them and appreciate him/her does not mean celebrating Mother’s Day, necessarily. It shouldn’t be an obligation. I never liked when boyfriends had to get me something on Valentine’s Day. If you want to do something special, then by all means, do it. But love shouldn’t be forced, and as long as your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever loves you, and you know that, there should be no issue.

nocountry2's avatar

Really? “You’re not my mother?” A bit too literal, eh there Gooch-y? Considering you wouldn’t have your beautiful children without their awesome mother, don’t you think a wee bit of appreciation applies? (please note “wee” was totally dripping in eye-rolling sarcasm)

delirium's avatar

My daddy always does something special for mom on mothers day.

nocountry2's avatar

So did my dad. He would always take my brother and I on a special shopping trip to pick out a new outfit for her (he had fabulous taste and picked out all her clothes, which she loved) and we’d get her favorite flowers and make a special dinner…and he always got her one of those lovey “To the Mother of my Children” cards that made her cry…what a loving example for your kids, you know? :)

beware's avatar

It’s not Mother’s day in England. We have it at a different time of year to you guys. Just remember it when it’s Farther’s day and get him the same as he got you. Fxxk All?

babygalll's avatar

I think he should. A mother, a stepmother, foster mother, adoptive mother, grandmother, godmother. ALL deserve something on Mother’s day even if it’s something little. It shows appreciation and they do A LOT for the family. Remember that.

spendy's avatar

@mzgator: Unfortunately, I share in your pain. My husband doesn’t do diddly-squat for me either. Then again, he doesn’t even send his own MOTHER a card, he just calls. He’s a total jackhas. :) I love fluther-modified cursing.

@gooch: I hope you aspire to better than sharing in the ranks with my husband. I’d sure hate to think there’s more than one unappreciative husband like him out there.

gooch's avatar

@ all of y’all I have waited until now to answer so she would not see my answer until after the fact. Tomorrow I with the help of my daughter be “playing” chef. The weather here will be awesome so I am boiling 40 pounds of crawfish. Of course in the boiling pot will be some smoked pork sausage, onions, potatoes, artichokes, carrots, and mushrooms. This will be served on the picnic table in the back yard with ice cold beer or gwertzminer. There will also be a homemade card because Halmark can’t express my “thank you” well enough. Some of you may find it to be a lame gift but I know her and she will enjoy it because it will be hours spent as a family. As a mother and a wife she makes us her number one priority with a smile on her face everyday.

cheebdragon's avatar

aww now I’m all teary eyed. Damn and I just did my makeup.

breedmitch's avatar

You rock Troy!

babygalll's avatar

Looks like someone (Gooch) is going to be getting some tomorrow night!!

richmarshall's avatar

I think gooch had it up his sleeve the whole time. Good on ya gooch!

babygalll's avatar

Unless he saw this and thought… “I better think of something quick!”

nocountry2's avatar

Atta boy, Gooch! Nice save

scamp's avatar

Aww, that’s great! I’m so happy to hear your Mother’s Day was salvaged, and to the point of having a wonderful time. Good going Gooch!

Now I wish I could retract my original post here because nobody did anything for me yesterday. No card, nothing! My daughter was too busy kissing her mother in law’s butt to do anything for me. They just bought her a new car, so I’m not surprised. I’d rather spend my time being happy for the rest of you than moping around, so I hope you all had a very nice day!

Simran61's avatar

give a lovely kiss each day and enjoy candle light dinners ending with a long drive…..

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