What sort of body armor should I equip my dog with as he is constantly being stepped on by my husband?
Extra points for creativity.
poor puppy!
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56 Answers
Rubber, so that the dog and husband both bounce away from each other.
A little tin suit for the dog, clown shoes for your husband so if he does get near your puppy, he knocks him over instead of stepping on him.
You should put a vest on your dog that has really long fringes on it so that the dog becomes aware when your husband is near because as he steps on the fringes it tugs on the vest and the dog can scurry away. Also, your dog would look far out.
You could make him a magnetic collar, and have your hubby wear opposing magnets in his shoes. Eh?
Wait. I’m having trouble wording this in a way that makes it functional…
Electrified to condition your hubby to not step on pup…
Or plot armor since that’s just about as close to invulnerability as one can get
OMG. How awful to admit your question made me LOL. Obviously the dog is not too bright if he has not figured out to move clear of your husband as he approaches. I guess if your husband trips and breaks his leg on the dog, God forbid, he will start looking where he is going. Maybe put a bell on one or both of them.
I’ve seriously thought of dyeing the dog a florescent colour and attaching a sensor to him that would emit an annoying sound as soon as hubby got close.
Also the dog is often asleep when this happens.
Bells tied on your husband’s shoes or a snap-on anklet with bells. How horrible for your pup!
I agree with those who have suggested bells.
Awww. Asleep. Poor thing. Do you have a doggie bed that maybe if the dog gets used to sleeping there he won’t be in harms way?
But seriously, how does your husband walk without watching where he is going? He must never have lived in a big walking city. My mom was constantly telling me to watch where I was going when I was a kid.
You could tie the dog up to the top of your hubby’s feet, then the dog would never be underfoot.
Is your carpet or flooring the same color as the dog? Does he just blend in?
I honestly don’t know how he manages it. The dog is rarely really underfoot. He’s a really well trained dog so he sticks by us as much as possible. I just gently push him away if I do an abrupt about turn.
My hubby has visual spatial problems (I’ve been accidentally whacked a bunch of times).
@JLeslie That may be the problem in the living room as the carpet is beige and the dog is white. But we have a horrid goldish pattern linoleum in the kitchen and that’s where he often nails.
Ever see the film There’s Something About Mary? Maybe a full body cast.
Hahaha. Awww, I should not laugh. I am thinking a big neon colored bow on the dog.
Is your husband a little nearsighted?
Milo here; Please send photo of dog (and perhaps husband) so that I can design a custom-made outfit.
My little dog gets that deer in the headlights look when big feet approach. She seems to get too frightened to move, although at any other time she thinks she is a pit bull, so stays right in the danger zone looking dumb. I have almost taken a flyer trying to avoid her on many occasions. I don’t know what to suggest???
A hearing aid!
We have a similar problem around my house. One of our dogs is almost the exact same shade as our flooring and has an annoying tendency to make herself comfortable right in the middle of high traffic areas. The net result is I have tripped over her on more than one occasion.
However, smart critter that she is, I now hear her scrambling to get out of the way whenever she hears me coming down the hall in the dark.
Put him in a giant box painted a bright color with holes for his legs and head.
Your husband I mean.
This is the pup in question. My daughter sometimes dresses him up like this.
My hubby used to knock over our kids when they were younger too. Thankfully, they learned faster and better than the dog does.
I still think you need to get his sight tested.
He has had it tested and it’s not that bad.
That dog needs to appear on “Toddlers with Tiaras” and earn his keep.
Milo here; My trick is to sneak up behind Gail without making any noise (remember Sandburg’s writing about the fog creeping in on little cat’s feet..well, he got the idea from watching me).
She takes a small step backwards and…surprise…
Maybe the dog wouldn’t object to glasses as long as they had Dame Edna frames. Here
Might be bad enough. Probably just doesn’t look where he is going.
@JLeslie Probably just doesn’t look where he is going.
Quite true.
@tranquilsea I figure if he has not learned by now, he isn’t going to. Hmm?
Oh, is he wearing street shoes? We rarely wear shoes in the house, so I did not even think of that until @MRSHINYSHOES brought it up.
@JLeslie My take is that he’s shoe-less, so wearing really plush slippers is better than bare feet for the dog’s sake. And a bell attached would even be better. For the husband that is!! Lol.
No shoes: slippers. (for hubby)
@gailcalled my dog has shoes such as these for when he goes running with me in -20c weather.
I’m figuring at this point that the best case scenario going forward is to teach the dog to run into him in an effort to truly trip him. Then perhaps he’ll learn to watch out for him.
I don’t think I pick up my feet high enough to step on a dog.
I’m around this dog all day long and I rarely trip over him. The only time I have done so is when I’m in a hurry. I’ll gently give the dog a shove and tell him to move along.
One of our dogs is the same color as the carpet and in low light I will step on him and he will have this violated look on his face so I have to make up with him even though he was parked right where we have to walk. We just try to be extra careful to not do that. It’s really on us to avoid.
Nerdy answer: +5 armour of repulsion.
No body armor in the world is going to protect your dog, if he is stepped on.
Body armor is strictly to prevent penetration of knives and bullits.
@tranquilsea: I have been brooding about this question (I nominated it for Q of the Day) and I realized that we have dealt with visuals, audios but not smells.
How about dousing him in an essential oil each morning…eau de skunk or, if not available, licorice, patchouli, or ambergris?
Or….put shock collars around your husbands ankles. lol
It won’t take long, just stay away from any intermittent reward.
He only gets his treats when he exhibits the desirable behavior.lol
@gailcalled (I nominated it for Q of the Day)
It’s an honour just to be nominated :-)
@Coloma or I could spray him (hubby) with water every time he does it.
@Coloma We need more questions of levity! :-D
I agree. I’ve had a rough week and this thread has provided a ton of much needed laughter.
I’m just glad my hubby doesn’t read over my shoulder
@tranquilsea
Hahaha..yes, get a couple of water pistols and a holster, you can role play “Animal catcher.” lol
Yep, I am always up for humor!
We should have a new category, social, general, meta, funny,
Or maybe teach him how to drive his own little mini-Sherman tank?
@gailcalled he is a pretty smart pup and that could be fun lol.
Our automechanics here could easily design one for you. How about it, boys (and girls)?
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