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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

If you do not know you were cheating, is it cheating?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26783points) September 13th, 2011

Lets say a guy meets up with identical twins, those that dress alike, style their hair alike, etc. The guy gravitates to one twin over the other and starts dating her, but her sister wanted him too. If the dude goes over to the twins home, slightly drunk already expecting to meet the twin he chose, but runs into the other twin; but don’t realize it. The twin he wanted to see got called away because of some urgent matter and told her sister to tell him that. If she doesn’t, but invites him in, get him more drunk and they end up boinking. If he thought the twin he had sex with was the one he was dating, did he cheat? Even if he didn’t know, or learned after the fact is he still a cheater by proxy, you know, ignorance is no defense?

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19 Answers

DeanV's avatar

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say the identical twin example has probably never happened, and probably never will.

That being said, by my definition of the word, yes.

Judi's avatar

Where do you come up with this stuff????

AmWiser's avatar

I don’t think it’s really cheating if they are not in a committed relationship or married. (IMHO)


No, in my mind he did not “cheat”, because cheating is defined by doing something “knowingly” behind one’s back and trying to get away with it. There was no intention of the guy doing that here, so he wasn’t cheating. It was just a mistake, exacerbated by his drunken state.

It’s like if I buy something for $25.00, and I give the cashier $30.00. The cashier gives me back $7.00 in change, instead of $5.00, and I take the $7.00 and put it in my pocket and walk away. I was too tired to notice. I wasn’t trying to cheat the cashier of an extra 2 dollars. The intention was not there.

In the example you gave, the second twin girl is actually the unscrupulous one, by getting the guy more drunk and boinking with him. She had feelings for him too, so by getting him more drunk she’s really the bad one, not the fella.

gailcalled's avatar

What if he wasn’t more drunk and involved in boinking? Does that count?

I have never seen twins whom I could not tell apart, even with all their clothes on. There are always some subtle differences. Of course, I am sober all of the time.

Aethelwine's avatar

@Judi I think Days Of Our Lives, but I could be wrong.

just playing Hypocricy ;)

Nullo's avatar

Yes, but not in the usual sense. If you run a red light, you’ve run a red light – even if you had a very, very good reason like faulty brake hydraulics.

ddude1116's avatar

Technically, yeah. Just because cheating is having romantic relations with anybody other than your partner. However, if he gets punished for that, his girlfriend’s a bigger bitch than her sister.

Haleth's avatar

That’s a lot of what-ifs. I think you’re just looking for people to say, “even in the craziest extenuating circumstances, it’s still cheating.” An elaborate, specific scenario like this seems like it’s made to elicit the right answer.

One of my friends in college was an identical twin and didn’t tell anyone about it for the first few weeks. His twin came to visit, and he was a very outgoing and uninhibited guy, so he started a conversation about online gaming and gay porn.

Now, these are both things I’d talked about with my friend tons of times, and they were shared interests between us, but still… something wasn’t right. His face was a little different, the mannerisms were different, etc. There was this weird cognitive dissonance and I kept trying to figure it out. And then my friend came around the corner and he was like, “Hey dude, did I tell you I had a twin?”

Weird times. I think I was the butt of an elaborate prank, but I still knew it wasn’t him.

martianspringtime's avatar

Well technically it’s still cheating, but I really don’t think it would count for anything if the person in question had absolutely no idea whatsoever.

ddude1116's avatar

I’m curious to see what the aftermath to this situation is, now.. @Hypocrisy_Central this would make an incredibly interesting and totally bizarre rom-com.

woodcutter's avatar

Her sister has some ‘splaining to do.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Judi Where do you come up with this stuff???? AMERICA! Conversations with people on BART, the coffee house, transit, the grocery store, etc. Everyone has an idea what they would do if this or that happened. How they would do different something that happened. They read a story in a magazine about some parent taking the wrong kid home and not knowing for 14 years and swear it could never happen to them, they would certainly know their baby, or not, when handed to them by the hospital. They come from life and people who live it.

@martianspringtime I think you have it close to what I would believe. He actually cheated, he did do the physical act, but technically he didn’t because he didn’t know he was with the wrong twin.

@Haleth I think I was the butt of an elaborate prank, but I still knew it wasn’t him. Were you drunk or sober?

talljasperman's avatar

Didn’t something like this happen in the Old Testament….? It was incest twice with daughters. I don’t know exactly, but the daughters got the father drunk so they can have his child.

ucme's avatar

Identical twins, it is claimed, can feel each others emotions/pleasure/pain. If that is the case then it’s not cheating, because both girls reached orgasm…..kinda.

DrBill's avatar

adultery is a conscience act. you must be aware of the act or it is not a sin on your part. As an example the case of Lot and his daughters committing incest, Lot was drunk and did not know they were his daughters, the daughters committed the sin of incest, Lot was only guilty of being drunk.

Haleth's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Sober. It happened around lunchtime. Anyway, if all the things in your question actually happened, and the guy really didn’t know, I wouldn’t say he was at fault.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, they set him up so they’re all jerks.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Haleth Anyway, if all the things in your question actually happened, and the guy really didn’t know, I wouldn’t say he was at fault.
Blame aside, if a person is cheating but in their mind (or lack of it due to chemical impairment) they are not cheating, did they actually do it, or does it not require the knowledge or purposed intent of the mind?

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