Social Question

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

How are you? Really. [3]?

Asked by Hawaii_Jake (30619points) October 3rd, 2011

I asked this question a year ago and six months ago.The responses were enlightening.

“How are you?” is an automatic question we say and hear countless times each day, and no one expects the answer to be real. No one believes when they ask the question that they will hear about someone’s medical bills or romantic entanglements.

Since we are all anonymous friends here, this is our opportunity to tell the truth.

How are you? Really.

Me? I’m actually good right now. I’ve done some amazing cleaning and de-cluttering at home that has made me feel lighter inside. I will begin directing a play this month, and it’s my directorial debut. I have confronted some of my deepest financial fears and survived. I think I’m good.

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78 Answers

RockSlave's avatar

Well I just returned from Oregon visiting a girl I’ve been seeing since Summer. We both agreed that long distance is probably not such a good idea at the moment. I’m a bit sad but I know this is probably best for both of us.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Not so great, lately. I have spent the last 2 years under an enormous amount of stress, and it has taken a huge toll on me. My ability to cope with stress seems to be worn down to nothing at this point, which only makes it worse. I really believed that things were better for a little bit there, I felt like we were finally going to catch a break and that we could finally breathe again… but I was wrong. The worst is not over, yet. Sometimes I feel completely defeated. My inner fighter, my fire, my ambition is all squashed. I have spent most of the last 2 years feeling like a shadow of my former self, and I still do.

Kind of pitiful, but you asked for the truth.

Jellie's avatar

Thanks for asking :)

Well on a scale of 1–10 I’d say I’m about a 5. I am stuck in a relationhip and a job I don’t like. I can’t leave my job because I realized I need to have a back-up in this economy. I can’t get myself to be passionate about anything or work on anything else other than my job. I feel like I’m rustingggggggg.

DominicX's avatar

Decent. I’m enjoying my classes this quarter and my living situation and I’ve been having a lot of fun recently, but I’m looking for a job and have no work experience at all so I’m very stressed out about writing a resume and getting this going (and I missed an opportunity to have someone pass on a job to me, so that’s disappointing…). Also, I dropped an important class because it was very difficult and stressful and I thought I didn’t technically have to take it but now I’m thinking I probably should not have dropped it, but I’m not even sure of that, so I’m still wondering. A lot of things to think about right now…

In general, though, I am doing fine and there is nothing seriously wrong. Just a little extra stressed right now…

Male's avatar

I’m dreading the coming week. It’s 12:30 AM here and I have to get up at 9 for college. I have a few chapters to read, a homework assignment, and more studying to do throughout the coming week. This weekend breezed by way too fast. It didn’t last long enough. It was a mini-vacation while it lasted, and now it’s back to the grind. I feel good about some things though. I finally took care of some hanging tasks this weekend (study, clean room, clean pets), and I got a wireless connection working that I’ve been looking forward to setup. I also got some time to unwind and relax, so all in all, it was an awesome weekend for once. Most weekends are not nearly as good as this one.

Those weekends are hard to come by…ah well, there’s always the chance of next weekend. =]

Bellatrix's avatar

I just got back from a wonderful holiday. I had some ‘family’ issues come up while I was away that were not expected nor pleasant and my husband and I are still dealing with those problems. Something of a ‘time’ fixes all thing I think. It was wonderful to have some time away on our own and just have fun though.

Now back at work and trying to not allow the pressure of deadlines and too much to do get to me. Thank you for asking Jake.

ucme's avatar

I’m good, really really good! :¬)
@ANef_is_Enuf Hey, I know this in no way is going to help & we don’t talk all that much, but based on what I see of you here I think you’re cool. Just felt the need to say that, all in good faith ;¬}

Hibernate's avatar

Better than I ever been.

Nullo's avatar

Peachy. Unhappy with my job, though. I have tomorrow off. Maliciously gleeful, as I imagine my anti-malware programs slaughtering OpenCloud .AV

augustlan's avatar

Meh, not so great at the moment. I’ve been hurting (physically) extra bad for a while now, and am feeling down. Not quite a depression, but not far off, I suspect. One of my daughters is really stressed at the moment, my husband is still laid off, and I’ve got to come up with an enormous amount of money to fill my heating oil tank this week. Otherwise, though, I’m ok.

Cruiser's avatar

I am doing very well, thanks for asking. Almost fully unpacked in my new amazing home. The dust has finally settled from buying my company and things are going well there. Spent the entire day with my wife and we went for a hike at my favorite woods yesterday and found an arrowhead. Though there will always be something to deal with life is really good.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

I wasn’t being dishonest in the first question. I’m really 40-ish

Pele's avatar

I am optimistically pessimistic, so I’m doing FINE.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf Now I’m at suck minus. Thanks :)

tom_g's avatar

<begin complaining>
In a pretty bad space right now. Death in the family last week, friends and family suffering from some messed up stuff, way too busy, getting around 4 hours sleep/night on average, about to start a new job I am completely unqualified for, and I have abandoned all of the things that keep me grounded (meditation, eating healthy foods, exercise, sleep). I need to follow my own advice. Right. Now.
<end complaining>

Tom, get your shit together.

Supacase's avatar

My last real meal was Wednesday; It only consisted of ½ a piece of pizza, but it was still food. I can’t get food or liquid down without tremendous pain & pressure – if I get it down at all. I don’t have an endoscopy until this Wednesday. I’m hungry, thirsty, frustrated and tired. It could be a simple stricture, but with my history it could also be something more complicated.

On top of that, my daughter is being very distant and stand-offish toward me, which makes me so sad. :( Very few hugs, no cuddles, not talking to me much. Loving her dad to pieces, though.

Minor, but the doctor at the ER thought my husband was my son. !! WTF !! He is 8 years younger, but I’ve always been told I look young for my age and no one ever guesses the age gap. The doctor did give him a fist bump after that, but I have no idea what he meant by that and I don’t care. All I know is he thinks I look a lot older than I am. So, all wind out of my sails. :\

Let’s just say, things were much better a couple of weeks ago.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

I need glasses I’m seriously going blind so…... I saw “How OLD are you REALLY.”

Sorry… To answer “How AM I really.”

I am always the best I can be depending on the circumstances. I don’t always gravitate to the highest possible expression of whatever moment I find myself in and what I am dealing with within it, but internally, I always make the very best of it.

That’s all we can do I think?

Supacase's avatar

@tom_g I’m sorry to hear about the death in your family and that things are tough all around right now. You know the things that ground you and can get you feeling like yourself again, and you know you need to get back to them, so you have made a huge first step. Good luck with your new job.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Right. I want to give hugs to the jellies having a rough time right now, and high fives to those that aren’t.

filmfann's avatar

I am suffering from body aches, which are probably due to Lyme Disease (had a tick bite in February). But I am working thru it, and trying to keep a positive attitude.

augustlan's avatar

Hugs to all of you. <3

picante's avatar

Thank you for asking, @Hawaii_Jake! Not so good here. I’ve been spiraling down in a depression for almost a year now, and I seriously think I need professional intervention at this point. I’ve cycled with this throughout my life.

Several life events have converged within the past 10 months, and none of them are terribly good. And I feel guilty even being depressed—bt most folks’ standards I’m living the dream. Suffering some physical pain with a herniated disc, but that is minor compared to the pain in my head/heart. Hugs to all.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

I’m with Anef and Augustian! Hugs and love to those who need it today! ♥ ♥ ♥

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Hugs Picante… ♥ Peace for your head & heart and health and joy to your body!

AmWiser's avatar

(((((((((((Endless Hugs)))))))))))

TexasDude's avatar


I miss my girl across the ocean pretty badly, and I’m in the midst of an existential crisis, of sorts thanks to career-related worries, and I’m dealing with everything the best way I know how: through poetry, rock n roll, and absurdity.

janbb's avatar

@tom_g Tom – get your shit together.

Not too bad at the moment. I’ve been feeling better since the semester started; I tend to cycle down as the summer’s unstructured time leads to too much rumination. Being back at work has been good especially sine the main PITA retired. And my teaching is going really well this year also.

I’m still struggling with an old issue that I thought I had beaten back but I feel it’s at least in a manageable place at the moment.

Love to all who are down and need it!

And love to you @Hawaii_Jake – “And the fire and the rose are one.”

OpryLeigh's avatar

A little concerned but not panicking just yet. I am also feeling bitter sweet after an amazing holiday. It was so amazing that it all most hurts to think about it at the moment because I realised that I really don’t want to accept “getting back to normal” now that I am back. I’ve also got period pain.

geeky_mama's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake – Thank You for asking. I realize it’s probably not good to compare my own situation with others…but your question does make me want to hug a bunch of the jellies above having a rougher time of it at the moment.

I’m doing well. A little over-extended from a scheduling perspective (I always do this to myself – we’re signed up to help in too many ways) with Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts and my Tanzanian Mission program that I run.. but they’re all worth it.

Have to write out a painful $16,000 check to pay for the recent repair (rebuild?) of our septic system which leaves me feeling both blessed (on the one hand, we were fortunate to be able to scrimp and save up that cash so we could pay for it outright) and sad (good bye to ALL our savings – we’re back to nothing). Hubby is still under-employed. No hope of that changing before the holidays.

But..all in all, we’re all healthy and have a roof over our heads and food in the pantry…so I feel very good.

Strauss's avatar

I am probably the one who makes some folks sick with my optimism. My standard response to the question is usually “I’m doing great!. But don’t worry, I’ll get better!”. But the thing is, I really mean it. I refuse to have a bad day. I refuse to let what someone else says or does ruin my life. I prefer to enjoy life, and hope to enable others to enjoy their life a little more.

Jude's avatar

Climbing an uphill battle, but, I’ll get there.

Supacase's avatar

@picante Please do see someone if you are feeling so depressed and it is getting worse. Hugs to you.

Ayesha's avatar

I’m doing better, I’d say quite good.
Hugs to all those Jellies having a rough time.
Oh and great question :)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I miss Alex who’s in London until late December. I’m anxious that my youngest chid is always dealing with bronchitis and coughs and colds and that he’ll have asthma. I’m tired of trying to be perfect at everything I have to do this Fall, I want to avoid it all. I’m at work 1 right now.

Judi's avatar

If you must know, I’m a little constipated. It’s making me rather grouchy.

Mariah's avatar

I’ve always liked this question. Thanks for asking. There is a lot of uncertainty in my life right now, but as uncertainty is better than certain unpleasantness, I think I’m doing well. Better than average.

It seems possible that, due to my surgeries, I may no longer have to deal with major medical problems anymore. I think back on a year ago and I remember a talk I had with my friend where he was asking me what I would wish for if I could have anything. He said it had to be a selfish wish, no world peace or anything like that. I said I would wish not to have my health problems anymore. Considering that I don’t think people get their one biggest wish very often, I count myself extremely lucky. It’s still uncertain – I’m a little over a month out of surgery now and still some things happen sometimes that scare me, and I won’t really know what my end result will be like for another five months, but I am doing better than your average surgical patient for this point in the healing process and that’s more than I could ever ask for.

Also I just got back from a trip with my family, which was so much fun. We got to see a Broadway production of Wicked and it was absolutely amazing. And as changing up my routine used to be something that triggered illness, I was interested to see how I would travel, and I did fine. [Potential TMI] I even got a period while on vacation, which is significant because I’ve only had maybe four periods in the last year and a half, because I tend to be perpetually anemic and my body holds onto blood for dear life. So that’s a good sign. [/TMI]

I go back to college in January, and while I’m still excited, I’m nervous too. It’s going to be a shock to my system after over a year of brain rot and a slow-paced lifestyle. But it will feel so great to begin moving forward in life again.

Anyway, sorry about the long rambling response (who am I, @wundayatta? ;) ), but what I’m trying to say is that I’m doing well, if a little anxious about all the uncertainty in my life. I am feeling the most hopeful I have felt in several years.

muppetish's avatar

I really hate complaining (especially when it consists of small beans in comparison what others I know are going through), but to I don’t feel well at the moment. I only slept for two hours last night (give or take) and had to wake early to carpool. This wouldn’t be a big deal, but it is my first day back at work and I was really hoping to kick my insomnia before fall quarter kicked into full force. I didn’t eat or drink, carried a full load in my backpack, and then made a scene while talking to my significant other (burst into tears, guilt tripping—that sort of thing.) I feel like shit right now. I’m mad at them, but not half as much as I hate myself right now.

It’s one of those days I know will get better, but right now I feel like crap. But I am grateful to have been able to answer this question to get that out of my system before I have to clock in and wear a fake smile for the next five hours.

tinyfaery's avatar

I’m still a little stressed about money, but as soon as I get a job that will change. My relationship is great and my fall gardening is coming along quite nicely. Gardening has been a great stress reliever for me. As always, my insomnia is messing with my head.

Thank you Wellbutrin and Effexor.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@RockSlave : I hope you get over the sadness.
@ANef_is_Enuf : If it’s not too much, I’ve got a big Hawaiian hug for you.
@Jellie : I hope you find some oil to clean off the rust.
@DominicX : I trust you can find some fun ways to work off the stress.
@Male : I’m glad to hear you had what sounds like a great weekend.
@Bellatrix : Cheers to a wonderful holiday, but I’m sad to hear about the other stress.
@ucme : Really? How good are you?
@Hibernate : Good.
@Nullo : Are you planning to make a cobbler with those peaches?
@augustlan : I’m sending light and love your way. I wish I could send cash instead.
@Cruiser : Yay! Enjoy!
@Pele : That’s good to hear.
@Adirondackwannabe : I’ve got another Hawaiian hug for you, too.
@tom_g : I’m very sorry to hear about your loss and all the other stress.
@Supacase: Oh dear. That sounds dreadful. Please take care of yourself.
@GabrielsLamb : I hope you can get new glasses soon.
@filmfann : Ouch! Get well soon.
@picante : I’m so sorry to hear that. I’ve been there. PM me, if you want.
@AmWiser : You sound like Tony the Tiger. :-)
@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard : Remember about those Existential crises: Hell is other people.
@janbb : That made me smile.
@Leanne1986 : I’m glad to hear your holiday was so good. Cherish it.
@geeky_mama : That’s a hefty check. I’m glad you’re cheerful about it.
@Yetanotheruser : I’m happy for your optimism.
@Jude : Like the Litter Engine that could, “I think I can! I think I can!”
@Ayesha : Good to hear, and thanks for the hugs.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir : I’m sorry your having so much stress at the moment.
@Judi : I wish you the best in dealing with that ailment.
@Mariah : We are all so glad to hear you’re healing well.
@muppetish : Yes! It will get better.
@tinyfaery : Ah, gardening. There’s something soothing about getting into the earth.

Nullo's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake No, but have some malware bacon! I just pulled it out of the frying pan.

wundayatta's avatar

I’m doing quite well right now. I feel happy. I feel good about myself. My family is doing well. Several other aspects of my life are doing well. I am grateful for this since surely this will change. It always does. But then it will change again.

I think my happiness has to do with love. The more I love, and the more I let the love out, and the better I feel about the people in my life that I love, the more upbeat I get and the more people seem to give back to me. It’s not easy by any means. But right now it is going well. I feel like I have given in to love.

For many years I have been afraid to love. Afraid of being hurt. I held back even though I wanted it so much. Now, at this moment, I am not holding back. It is very rewarding. I makes life so much easier. I’m sure it will not be like this forever, but for now, it is and I am glad.

By the way, this has changed about three times in the last month.

Bluefreedom's avatar

I’m good for the most part. My diabetes is under control and my knees are healing toward the point where I might be able to start running again soon. Things could always be worse and I remind myself of that from time to time when I feel like things are at an all time low when they’re actually not.

flutherother's avatar

I am, as we say in this part of the world ‘no bad’. The last few years have been traumatic with divorce, homelessness and financial troubles but I always knew I would get through this bad patch and now I have. At the moment things are definitely ‘no bad’.

ucme's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake I believe the colloquial term puts it thus….. good to go!

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@wundayatta : I’m glad to know that this question caught you on a good day.
@Bluefreedom : It’s good to know you’re recuperating and healing.
@flutherother : That sounds good. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot. I’m glad to hear you’re okay.

KateTheGreat's avatar

Stressed and exhausted. Blood pressure is running high over in these parts.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@KateTheGreat : I hope you can find some relief soon.
@Neizvestnaya : Don’t forget to breathe.

tedibear's avatar

I’m… okay. Which is better than the last week or so. I really, really, really need to get to my GYN because this PMS is not getting better. I just did the math. Because I’m on birth control, I have 13 periods a year. I spend approximately 10 days prior to each “arrival” essentially disliking many things about myself that I don’t have an issue with the other 20, and magnifying the the things I do dislike to almost unbearable proportions. This means I will feel this way 130 days each year if I don’t figure out what to do. So, it’s off to the doctor I go. Luckily, I feel better on that front today. (And a little shout out to @wundayatta because he mentioned dialectical behavior therapy in a post somewhere. I read about it and tried something from it this month. Seemed to help when I remembered to do it. Okay, that and the wine helped.)

Add to the mix that I’m not sure that I’ve made a good career choice and, well, my mind is in a muddle. :/

Berserker's avatar

Yeah, I’ve long noticed this. We say how are you just because it’s shit we say. Nobody expects anyone to say anything but, good, you? And even if someone breaks that, not much room is left to let much explanation be told. Seems kinda lame. But I’m not being a black sheep. I do the same damn shit. Friends excluded, of course. And even then.
I also happen to think thank you and please kinda suck, because it’s often very superficial. But it’s not quite the same bowl of soup here…

I wasn’t leading on to anything. My emotions right now are in passive sleepy mode. Nothing outrageous, nothing good or bad, not much to say. It’s pretty cool like that.

Nullo's avatar

My right ankle sounds like a bowl of Rice Krispies when I move it.

TexasDude's avatar

Addendum: drunk now.

Berserker's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Yea, me too lol. Took a while to kick in, dang it. :D

TexasDude's avatar

@Symbeline, always in moderation, m’dear. Now, off to write some pseudo-Bohemian poetry!

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@tedibear : I’m certainly glad you’re feeling okay today, and I hope you get your troubles sorted out soon.
@Symbeline : I wish there was a simple answer for this complex question.
@Nullo : Ouch!

augustlan's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake You are such a nice guy. Sincerely. Thank you for caring for all of us in the way you do. <3

TexasDude's avatar

It’s true about @Hawaii_Jake.

laineybug's avatar

This is a good question, it makes me feel good. to all y’all yes I did just say y’all out there giving hugs, you might not want to hug me because I was stuck out in the cold rainy weather all weekend and now I have a cold. Mostly I feel okay though. my last class of the day, which is marching band, always cheers me up some and makes me feel good for the rest of the day.

nikipedia's avatar

I love this thread, and I really enjoyed reading all the answers.

I have been feeling a lot of anxiety lately and at this point I really don’t know why. This year I had a really bad friend breakup that involved a big shift in my social group, a lot of money problems, qualifying exams, and probably some other stuff. That is all resolved now—since restructuring my social group I feel much better about the friendships that survived/grew out of it, my exams were very successful, and my money problems are about as resolved as they’re going to be (I still don’t make enough of it, but I paid back a big debt to a friend). And I’m in a great relationship right now that I’m really happy about.

But like, my baseline anxiety levels when I wake up in the morning are still somewhere between a 5 and a 9 (out of 10). I worry constantly about realistic future concerns (potential relationship issues, getting a job someday, whether my work has any value…) and sometimes about completely stupid irrational things (what if I only think that girl’s name is Jennifer and I actually forgot her real name?!)

So, I’m ok. Thanks for asking.

augustlan's avatar

@nikipedia Sounds like you may have picked up a bit of generalized anxiety from the past stress. Sometimes it sticks around long past the cause, you know? Xanax is your friend. :p

bob_'s avatar

In four simple words, tired like a bitch.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@nikipedia : It sounds like things are actually quite good for. You’ve walked through some fears. Yay!
@bob_ : I hope you can get some good sleep soon, some sleep that restores.

tedibear's avatar

@Nullo – I have knees that do that! Snap, crackle and pop. I’m just grateful they don’t hurt when it happens.

beccagolling's avatar

I’ve been feeling crappy. I’ve been getting annoyed with every little thing and even broke a window and cut my hand and broke my blinds. That has been my last few days. What the hell is wrong with me?! :/

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@beccagolling : There’s nothing wrong with you. It sounds like just a bit of bad luck.

tedibear's avatar

@beccagolling – Assuming that you are female, might you be PMS? I get very clumsy at a certain point and could easily see myself doing what you did with the window. Added to annoyed with everything and maybe that’s it? Or some other stressor that you’re not consciously aware of may be lurking in your mind.

But I agree with @Hawaii_Jake that there is nothing wrong with you.

Berserker's avatar

Today I’m good. I got my electricity bill (yeah how can anyone feel good at that lol) and I was worrying for a while now that I’d owe too much and they’d give me a warning. Turns out I don’t owe all that much, and no warning. So that was relieving. I hate anxiety that gnaws at me for days and days.

beccagolling's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake thank you. sometimes, I feel as if I’m slowly going insane. @tedibear yes it could very well be that. Being that I haven’t had one in a while. Oh the joy! Not! >.<;

AstroChuck's avatar

According to the ladies… damn good.

linguaphile's avatar

I’m 85% great, awesome, terrific, thrilled, happy, serene, enthusiastic, optimistic- I’m laughing, smiling and appreciating so many things!! But 15% misanthropic.

Coloma's avatar

Today Oct. 14, 2011

Bleh. Came down with a cold on Tues. night, spent yesterday feeling pissy, holed up watching movies while the sun shone on a perfect fall day.

I hate being trapped indoors on beautiful days, brings out the pouty 4 year old in me. lol

I am also debating buying a new car, and we all know how stressful that can be.

I am confused.
What do I want, how much can I spend, should I wait til spring, or go for it now?

I’ll ponder this more when the brain fog lifts and I get my usual chipper countenance back. :-)

tedibear's avatar

@Coloma – I don’t mean to sound dumb, but why can’t you sit outside if you have a cold? If the weather is nice, I’ve been known to go sit in my lounge chair on the deck and nap. Unless the temptation is too great to start doing stuff and wearing yourself out. In any case, I hope you feel better soon!

As for me, I’m not looking forward to tomorrow. I simply don’t feel like going to work. I have Sunday off and then 6 days at my more physical job. We’ll see what kind of shape I’m in by Saturday.

Coloma's avatar


I just sat on my deck and watched the sunset, sniffle, hack, snort. LOL

Ron_C's avatar

I’m pretty good now that I think about it. On a scale 0–10, I’m about a 7.5. I just got back from a tough assignment in Malaysia, have most of the leaves picked up, and going on a cruise later this month. If I was just paid a little more, I’d be at about a 9.

NomoreY_A's avatar

I can’t complain, wouldn’t do any good anyway.

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