General Question

bassist_king1's avatar

What to do when you feel depressed, and like life sucks, and you have nothing to look forward to?

Asked by bassist_king1 (305points) May 9th, 2008

maybe its just a passing mood or something.. but i just feel like my life is lame and sucky. i dont have very many friends, almost never do anything with the few i have, i mostly just stay at home and watch tv, or go on the computer, and sometimes workout and play basketball and go jogging. sometimes i play basketball with my friends, or go out for food, or have youth group at my church, but thats about all i ever do.
i feel like i have nothing to look forward to, nothing exciting in the future. sure, ill graduate high school, maybe go to college or university, get a job, but then what? just go to work and probly go home and do nothing like i do now? maybe get lucky and find a gf, but i somehow feel like i probly wont, and will end up just being a loser at home, doing nothing, with no friends, and no life. sometimes i wonder what it would be like, if i was more popular, and went to parties and hung out with people and actually did stuff, and it seems great and alot of fun, but i just dont have many friends. the friends i do have, im barely even friends with them, barely do anything with them, talk to them at school every once in a while but thats about it. the only thing i see in the future, is going to heaven, which will be wonderful, but i still have a whole life time before that, heck im only 16, i still have tons of things to do before i die. maybe i need some goals for the future but i dont really see anything.. just a job after high school, making money to pay for a house and stuff, then retiring when im old.
ive never even had a gf, only ever knew a few girls, got a phone number from one once, who was pretty cool and nice n stuff, and i liked her, and phoned her a few times and we talked for a while, but we only got a hold of eachother a few times, then no more phone calls and we never even met up and went to a movie or out for dinner or anything.

sorry, kinda long. lol. just a rant for the mood im feeling right now i guess. what can i do to cheer up and make myself feel better and like ive got a good life (which i kinda do, live in a decent family, were not too poor, and im doing alright in school) and like i will have a future, and not just be some loser sitting at home then going to work, then home, and nothing else.. help me

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

22 Answers

XCNuse's avatar

it’s a highschool thing I swear, I wen’t through the same ordeal back in junior year, it all got better afterwards but hey there’s a lot more to life than you may expect, each day can bring something exciting you just need to find something you’re interested in!

eadinad's avatar

You’ll feel better when you have a few more years on you. I know it’s trite, and I’m sorry for that, but it’s really true. Just hang on and try to make your own meaning – don’t depend on others to make your life more fulfilling. Figure out who you are.

Good luck.

Theotherkid's avatar

I know how you feel. I really don’t have much friends and no gf. Everybody at school ignore and tease me often and I really feel bad about myself sometimes. Don’t know who I can talk to about it and how I could even change anything if I did talk to someone. I’m constantly feeling sad and angry and trying to think of a way to fit in more at school.

Hopefully things will start to look up to you and I.

TheHaight's avatar

went through it too, opposite though- I had
tons of friends and felt the lonliest.
10th grade to senior year, and kind of just changed once I graduated. My therapist helped me the most, went on anti-depressants, etc. I know you will
get through this- life is short, and it may feel like the world is against you but trust me- it isn’t and it will only get better. Good luck with everything.

NeroCorvo's avatar

Yeah- I have been there too.

One thing that I can suggest that has really helped me find purpose in life is finding a way to help others.

Suggestions:
Take a dozen roses to a senior assisted living complex and give one to each elderly lady you see. The glow on their faces will tell you that you matter and that you have made a difference.

Volunteer at the local Animal Shelter training dogs to make them better candidates for adoption.

Tutor other students.

There are lots of things you can do. I think that when you get off your self-made island you will find the world a place where you are needed and you will be challenged and excel!

Randy's avatar

Man, I think everyones been there. Just remember, when your at the bottom, the only place to go is up. =)

MrKnowItAll's avatar

Have a Beer, unless it’s part of the problem.

And play the Blues.

TheHaight's avatar

mrknowitall- having a beer won’t help. Especially when you are in high school and young.

mirza's avatar

Music. When i was in high school, i went through a similar thing where I was literally in the same situation as you. Through all my four years in HS,i couldn’t wait to get out and on my last day, I was probably the most depressed person because i somehow realized that i would miss it. Honestly, there are two songs from Pink Floyd that sort of helped me go through with it. I know this might be hard, but don’t think too much. Just live. Stop worrying about tomorrow and hoping for some kind of different life because losing all hope is freedom. As for future, even if you do end up as a “loser” , it wouldn’t matter if you are happy. I know some people who spend their days working on the computers all day and night. And yet they are happy about what they are doing with their lives. No offense to anyone, but goals have never taken me anywhere. Don’t force yourself into doing something you dont want to. When you find the right thing for you, you will know its the thing for you.

Also if you feel like you need company, talk to someone. If you cannot find people you know in real life, talk to someone online. it can be a good feeling letting your heart out to a stranger you’ll never see.

xxporkxsodaxx's avatar

well as far as the girlfriend thing goes, don’t like be a horny perv all day around but if you want just try and be nice and sensitive, and maybe lower your standards a little. Everything will get better over time, you are just looking at the glass of happiness half empty. Like it would be great if you went to college you could be a successful doctor and live a great life, so not everything could be bad and your life could just be a diamond in the rough.

bassist_king1's avatar

thanks for all the comments :) im feeling a bit better now, sometimes i just think deeply about things and they change my moods. ill probly feel good again later, so its not a huge concern or anything, and its not like i get depressed all the time, only every once in awhile. but i dont get why i dont have very many friends, its like a know a fair amount of people, but not very well, and dont talk to them lots or hang out or anything. im usually a pretty quiet person, and im kinda shy, so that might be part of it, but really its not that bad, sometimes i just think its worse then it actually is. maybe i should try and be more talkative, but sometimes i just dont know what to talk about, and end up just having an awkward silence when i walk with other people between classes or to/from school and stuff. but now that i think about it, i have a pretty good amount of friends, and it could always be worse, i could have no friends at all, or be paralyzed or something. lol. i think ill turn out fine and have a great life, find a nice girl, a good job, and have some kids. life is looking better now.

susanc's avatar

When I was a shy girl, my ma told me, “If you don’t know what to say, ask people what they’re interested in and ask for more information. Everyone loves that.”
It was true! We all love it.
You’ll learn a lot of junk you don’t need to learn, but how bad is that? : )
You do sound better. Good work.
Next thought: my darling husband, the light of my life, accomplished very random
“successes”. He was kind of scattered, and kind of a hermit, and never concentrated on anything very long, and hated working in offices, and had a bad back, and so he was not positioned to look like a winner. But he raised children he understood, was proud of, and loved so well, and he never stopped reading and thinking and learning and loving, and he knew himself loved on this earth. Is that good enough? I think it is.
We can’t all do everything “right”. If we’re lucky, we can do some very important things
wonderfully well. Go for it.

Spargett's avatar

Take a vacation to Iraq.

It’s all about perspective my friend.

DeezerQueue's avatar

How long has this mood lasted? If it’s been awhile you may want to get to a healthcare professional to see if you have a mild form of depression, which can suck the life out of you. There could be other underlying medical reasons, as well, and I urge you to take advantage of your resources.

You wrote an awful lot about things that involve social interaction. I don’t want to sound condescending because you’re a sixteen year old, but that age in and of itself does present some social issues. Your own identity is not developed enough to withstand being who you are, and others appreciating who you are. You might be an early bloomer in the self development classroom and take inventory. You already recognize that life is too short to hide yourself away. Partying only isn’t the answer, although a small dose of it may provide comic relief and distraction from what’s really bothering you.

Maybe now is the best time for you to experiment with different things. Open as many doors as you can, even if that includes what may be considered by your peers as unconventional; volunteering, hobbies, entrepreneurial endeavors. Try different things to see what stimulates you the most and why. Be candid about your intentions, that you’re not looking for a long term commitment, that you’re just trying to find something that will bring out the best in you and your commitment thereafter hinges upon how well it works out on a dry run.

If we want to make our respective contributions in this world then we need to start by learning to be our own best friends and advisers first and foremost.

emilyrose's avatar

ah, i find it quite sweet of you to open up to everyone. i think everyone has felt that way in high school. it’s hard, that’s for sure! I think you would be happier if you found a group to connect with. maybe a club at school, volunteerism, or sports. do you like your church group? there is probably more you could be doing with them. you might also want to think about getting a part time job at a place where a lot of other people your age might work. then you’ll be making money to save up for whatever you want, you’ll be busy, less time to think and get depressed, and you might make new friends and have a blast. when i was your age i worked in an ice cream shop and made some great friends, and I also worked in a coffee shop which was really fun because on sundays musicians would come in and there would be live music, so i would be getting paid to serve a few coffees and listen to good music. good luck, just stick through it and try as hard as you can to believe that it will get better, because it will. maybe try seeing a counselor at school too. one of my best friends who I always talk to when i’m sad always says “everyone feels the same way you do”
there is some comfort in that…... you are not as alone as you think you are, and getting involved in something more at school whether its joining a sports team, the environmental club, student government or whatever, will make you a lot happier and connect you to new people. good luck and let us know how you do!

MrKnowItAll's avatar

MrKnowItAll missed Bassist Kings age. Beer would not be appropriate.

Play the Bass. Experience your emotions through your music.
Learn to Sing. Singing Bass Players are a rarity.
Whenever you feel crappy, Play Music.

mollye's avatar

no worries, the people that ‘peak’ in highschool stay that way. They usually don’t progress mentally/intellectually/even physically (they tend to look the same 5 & 10 years later, or worse! ;) It’s a ‘tortoise and the hare’ kind of thing that happens as far as character-building is concerned from the age of 15–25. It’s kind of thrilling, knowing that ‘your time’ is still to come.

I have a book of positive affirmations that I started a couple of months ago thinking it would be SO so lame, but oddly enough it works. If you tell yourself that you are good at _______ (your job, listening, giving hugs—whatever) enough times it actually sinks in. Just be secure enough to put it on paper, and your subconcious will do the rest -molly

marinelife's avatar

Again, this may sound lame, but something that works for me and is a variation of what you were saying earlier (about how things could be much worse) is I say thank you for the blessings I do have in my life. It really does make me feel better afterwards and just move me out of that place. I think that you seem like a thoughtful sensitive wonderful person to take the risk to put yourself put on Fluther!

I also pick one or more tiny moments a bird I don’t usually see, a perfect piece of music that touches me, my family laughing at a dumb inside joke and I “capture” them for my life file. You have a lifetime of those moments ahead.

scamp's avatar

It’s pretty common for somone your age to go through periods of depression, especially when you get bored. The key is to try not to allow yourself to dwell on the negative thoughts for too long. It’s ok to think about them for a little while, because you can discover some things you might want to change. If you do, make plans and set goals to change the things you don’t like. Usually if you can find a solution to your problem, it doesn’t look quite so bad. So name a problem, then ask yourself “what can I do about this?” Once a goal is set and you start to take action, the problem doesn’t seem quite as bad.

The next thing to do is to train yourself to turn negative thoughts into positive ones. For instance, if you have a brokien leg, it means you don’t have to walk to the store, and so on. Listen to this song by Cat Stevens. He uses some examples of what I am talking about. It’s hard work, but you can train yourself to replace a negative thought with a positive one, and before you know it, you are feeling better. The more you do this, the easier it will be, and sooner or later it becomes automatic. Another great way to feel better about yourself is to help someone else. Your problems won’t look so bad if you are distracted by another’s. Marina is right. Spend some time counting your blessings. You’ll find that the list gets longer every time you do that.

NVOldGuy's avatar

H.S. doesn’t last forever. I believe action is a great way to get on with a life. From what I’ve seen, people active in “Do Good Groups” reap rewards others do not. Church, social, volunteer, etc. groups will get you in a social worthwhile state of mind. Hang in there, 16 is too young to give up on life. Look at the answers you have already.

dylzaree's avatar

well then, you’re a bit like me. i don’t do much, i watch tv, i’m not allowed to go out, i don’t have a love life, not very many friends. Basically, my life sucks, but I focus on my studies instead and look at the brighter side of life. on days when i feel like i’m on a hyper then i just tire myself out. why not read, it’s enjoyable. or go to fluther.com, it’s fun answering questions.

veronasgirl's avatar

I went through the same thing. The key is to stay involved in things and stay active. DO NOT give up and just sit and stare at the tv. That’s what I did I feel like I lost a year of my life. If there is any way to pinpoint exactly when or why these feelings began, I would explore that, maybe you can figure some things out and be able to move foward and be happy

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther