Social Question

GabrielsLamb's avatar

How accepting are you of the events that will lead up to your choices?

Asked by GabrielsLamb (6176points) October 9th, 2011

If you do something, or behave in some way that society deems unacceptible, or questionable, or even if you do something that makes you more obvious in a crowd how do you let opinions of others based on those choices effect your attitude in return?

Do you get offended easily?

Do you offend back?

Do you take it personally?

Do you take a stance of defensive automatically or do you tend to be more understanding that you did this to yourself so therefore people have a right to judge you as a portion of their existance?

What right’s do people have to judge or observe what you opt to make obvious about yourself?

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8 Answers

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Sometimes I am accepting, and other times I am not.

For instance… People constantly asking me about my tattoo… Acceptable, reasonible and perfectly alright.

Completely unacceptable… Feeling that because I have them, that somehow gives your dumb ass the right to in any way touch me.

Nay Nay Nay!

dabbler's avatar

If one intends to get attention, be noticed, stand out, I think people are granted a right to be judgemental. And I’d at least be interested in whether or not people understood the point of my expression.

If I intended to offend people, I should expect hostile reaction, or sympathy from folks who are similarly offensive.
But if you’re trying to make a point, and teach something you think valuable, the way you get attention makes a big difference what people learn from you.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@dabbler But people can’t actually expect to CONTROL that response in other people based on sentiment or emotional expectations or right action.

I learned that the hard way in life.

Realistically that is just not going to happen. That is an event of self inflicted fruestration

tinyfaery's avatar

I don’t give a shit. Like it. Don’t like it. If someone gives me shit I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself.

Scooby's avatar

I learnt along time ago to be responsible for my own actions… As a kid growing up I felt the sting of a few good hidings, as a young adult too, on more than several occasions, I’ve also dished out a few for what I believe to be true, yeah I did take it personally; back then…… Now, most things just go right over my head…. I still make a stance, although I’m a little more diplomatic these days & can comfortably box clever verbally than have to physically……We all have opinions, some are just not worth getting worked up about, in the grand scale of things………. :-/
Live & let live…..

dabbler's avatar

@GabrielsLamb I agree that there is the unexpected.
But if one gets an abusive/unwanted response to some expression, the extent to which one’s sense of innocence is valid has a lot to do with what one intended to express.
And if you just express yourself without thinking about the consequences or what it might sound like, that’s just a matter of (im)maturity maybe and savagery.
Some people fart in elevators and they are judged accordingly.

But even with a good effort at forethought, you can’t anticipate everything. Your experience with people trying to touch your tatoos is a good example, why would anyone feel entitied?
Discovering you might not have thought about ALL the possible reactions to /consequences of an action, is a learning moment that seems to be part of the human condition. ... always somethin’.

dreamwolf's avatar

It really depends, if its a crack head judging me on the streets I don’t bite back. When a person swings around the gas station and tells me to move up after they pull behind me and I don’t want to move up and they tell me to move up I’ll stand my ground, its my right to get gas right where I am, and they could go ahead and reverse park but I’m not the one going to block the car that is also facing me. In this particular situation a lady got out her car and told me to straight up move up, in a rude protruding manner.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@dabbler Ahh yes… But have you ever felt the backhand of intent that suposedly wasn’t intended to be offensive because that person had no boundaries?

It actually happened to me the other day. After taking it upon himself to read my arms, he made a judgement of me, and my entire personality because of them, and then felt as a result of his unwelcomed friendly banter that somehow gave him the right to touch me too.

I didn’t get upset, because he wasn’t creepy or too intrusive, it was gagued within me as being a mild event of stupidity on his part. So I sort of let it go.

But it does happen. People do at times feel that because THEY percieve it as friendly and beneficial or harmless that gives them the right to take a judgement to a physical example in demonstration of their assumptions.

My point is say what you want… I don’t care really, and neither should anyone else.

I have always told my children this and it is the truth… If something someone says to you actually manages to get deep enough inside of you and it hurts… It is only and ever because YOU believe it is the truth too.

No one can make you feel badly about anything that you too don’t agree to believe yourself.
The discomfort doesn’t come from the other person, it exists already in the person, and the comment only tweeks their own insecurity.

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