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mazingerz88's avatar

Is it possible for jellies to create a list of how to behave rules and what would you add to that list if ever?

Asked by mazingerz88 (25921points) October 15th, 2011

So, your thoughts?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

69 Answers

snowberry's avatar

Don’t disagree with anyone, ever!

Have perfect grammar and spelling.

No trolling!

silverfly's avatar

I think we have enough rules in the world and I’d rather not see more here. The internet is a great place where many of the rules don’t necessarily apply. This is a collective, after all, so I think the collective should simply state their intentions, make the change, and practice that change. Let each person decide for themselves without a definitive list of rules to abide by. I know, deep… right?

Judi's avatar

Be nice.

mazingerz88's avatar

@Judi I would refer to that rule as “Doing a Judi.” : )

smilingheart1's avatar

Don’t dominate and don’t feel you have to answer every question, especially if response is neither enlightening or by common standards “funny”

Jellie's avatar

Naked Fridays

Dog's avatar

Okay- I have some thoughts.

Regarding publicly correcting the spelling or grammar of new users (for instance those with under 500 lurve), I feel that the quip should be REMOVED just as we remove responses such as “Let Me Google That For You.” The comment kills the conversation and is hostile to a newbie who is just getting used to our site.

Someone mentioned mentoring. I think it has even been considered some time last year. I think it would be brilliant to have a list of volunteer mentors who could use the fluther help chat with their new little jelly. If moderation feels a new user could benefit from a mentor we could pair them up!

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Dog I love the idea of volunteer mentors.

linguaphile's avatar

Back off on the public criticism. One blunt comment’s one thing, but a continuous chain of critical comments that follow a jelly (usually a new one) from thread to thread is horrendous and not something I am willing to be part of.

Defending oneself is good, offering a different perspective is great, but if a jelly has a problem with another jelly’s comments, usage or style, 1. talk to that jelly in PMs or 2. talk to Auggle.

I love the mentor concept, too.

Coloma's avatar

I think it’s about tolerance all in all.

I am very accommodating to various means of expression and as long as one is not a trolling troublemaker and their words are decipherable, live and let live.

I am a writer, a lover of language, but I am also humble enough to not get up on my high horse and devalue another simply because their words do not meet some rigid criteria.

Judi's avatar

This could be a thread about bullying. Someone started to be rude to me once and a whole string of jellies ran to my defense. Maybe it’s up to us to make an effort to publicly call out the bullies so they won’t do it in the future. People knew me so they defended me. (Which felt really good by the way.) Maybe we need to defend even those we don’t know as well. We wouldn’t need to change “policy,” we could just change the culture.

snowberry's avatar

LOL, and it depends on the bully. If the bully has a large following, requests from other jellies to “stop the bullying” falls on deaf ears. Been there done that.

That’s what the thick skin is for. In my case I out lasted him, or I’d have had to have him put to sleep.

Dog's avatar

@Judi while I like the idea of calling out the bullies, it would make a horrible mess of the questions.

The answer is to flag. If someone comments rudely about grammar and spelling FLAG THAT COMMENT TOO!

If @Augustlan and company agree I would be more than happy to remove such things as inappropriate. If a user continues to abuse this then perhaps Auggie can chat with them. It would all need approval from those higher up than I.

But I am very serious about the mentoring. If we can get approval I think it would be fantastic. Today there is so much txtspk and poor grammar that people are thinking it is normal. We are truly a breath of fresh air! We can retain the great new members if they feel supported enough to improve.

snowberry's avatar

I already have done this to a small extent. One young gal was so inexperienced with actual written English, I had to explain what it was, and how text speak was not going to fly here. I even offered to help her edit her posts so they’d pass muster. That sounded like too much work. She didn’t stay more than a few weeks.

mazingerz88's avatar

Well I could see that @DICAR.

In txtspk that means @Dog is crafting a response. Lol.

Dog's avatar

@snowberry – At least you gave her a chance. :) She had the resources and support but chose an easier route by leaving. I am sure many won’t stay as always, but some will learn and stay.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@snowberry in all fairness, some people need a tutor not a mentor.
On the other hand, our grammar and spelling guidelines are not that strict. It also seems that the biggest focus on spelling and grammar is in the actual questions and details, a bit less in the answers. I think the quality of q&a here is so much better because people are trying, not because we all have flawless spelling. (I know I sure don’t.)

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
Dog's avatar

^ he he he he

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

For a split second I thought that was my response, and I went “SEE!!” in my head.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@Dog ROFL. Seriously. Good dog. Funny dog. Have a treat!

HungryGuy's avatar

@snowberry – I agree with #2 and #3, but I’ll never comply with #1.

@Judi – Bravo on your comment about bullying and coming to the defence of those in need!

@Jellie – And I second your vote for Naked Fridays!

linguaphile's avatar

Glad you’re here @Dog!

ucme's avatar

Bugger with more rules, the ones in place already regarding behaviour/standards are perfectly adequate. Just use your own common sense & a touch of courtesy, not asking much now is it?

chyna's avatar

Good @Dog. Roll over so I can rub your belly.
I would be willing to mentor also. Keep in mind though, that this is not about long term jellies beating up on newbies. I have seen newbies coming in here with an agenda to change this place. It’s not going to happen.

Dog's avatar

@chyna That is another case entirely. If a new user posts wanting to change Fluther then the debate is on. :) This also does not apply to those who still buck the rules even though they have been around long enough to know better.

woodcutter's avatar

Flagging rude comments isn’t going to do shit if the rude comment leaver does it in “social”. Been there done that. No, I’m not going to link the thread. The one’s who do that well, you know who you are.

Sunny2's avatar

To me, respect is the key. Anything you say should be respectful of the person to whom you are responding. If you make a challenging comment, do it nicely. “That’s a load of crap” is not the way to express disagreement. Bantering and teasing comments are for people you know well enough to know they won’t be resentful (I haven’t seen any infractions in this area) I think there are people who thoroughly enjoy being mean and nasty and think any criticism is a personal attack to which they get to respond angrily. I don’t think they belong on Fluther, but I don’t make those decisions. I just avoid the person I perceive to be this way.

Coloma's avatar

Well…knock on wood, I have made it in the “off topic” free zone for a solid 8 months since my 2 week suspension for my off topic tendencies and a bout of uncharacteristic bitchiness. LOL

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

Don’t get offended by every comment a fellow Flutherite makes.

Don’t be disrespectful.

Don’t make a critical personal remark towards a Flutherite.

Keep in mind that not “every comment a fellow Flutherite makes needs a lecturing response”.

Don’t be so sensitive. Have a sense of humor!

Berserker's avatar

All I really have is, don’t be a dick. And have fun, goddammit!

augustlan's avatar

Just treat people with respect. That’s all I really ask.

We have definitely discussed the mentoring idea, and it’s still up for consideration. We’d love to do it, and at some point in the future I hope to see it enacted.

Jellie's avatar

Hahaha @Symbeline. You summed it up, really.

Kardamom's avatar

Read the Fluther guidelines several times before you start to use Fluther.

Do not become irate when another Jelly suggests that you need to re-read the guidelines.

Do your best to write proper English sentences. If you have trouble with English, please let us know so that we can help you. We are more than willing to give you a break if you have problems with English. But do not become irate if someone asks you if English is your first language. It’s often difficult to communicate with people who’s first language is not English, but if you don’t admit that to us, then we can’t be helpful. It’s also not helpful to call other Jellies racists, if they ask you if English is your first language. English is not a race, but Fluther is an English language website, so it’s necessary to do your best to write clear, concise sentences in English, or ask us for help if you need it.

Pay attention to what you write, and how you say things. Because Fluther is all written, and not being heard, some people might think you are angry or being challenging, when you don’t mean to be. Also pay attention and try not to use slang words out of laziness. Slang words and textspk are generally not helpful, so use them sparingly and try to use them only when you need to use them to make a specific point that involves slang or textspk.

Try to control yourself and choose better words than curse words. Again, there are certain occassions when you may need to use a curse word to make a specific point, but try not to use them just because you have the right to use them or because you are lazy. There are all kind of folks using Fluther from 13 year old kids to older folks who were taught not to use curse words. I’m not saying this to censor anyone, I’m just asking if we could all learn better ways to express ourselves. When in doubt, try to use language that would be suitable for use in mixed company, like at a Thanksgiving dinner at friend’s home, or in a place of worship, or at a school open house where children are present.

If you make a bold statement, don’t become irate when another Jelly asks you to prove or provide a specific example. If a Jelly makes a bold statement that you disagree with, please refrain from mocking him, simply ask him to prove or provide a specific example, or respectfully prove or provide him with a specific example that illustrates the mistake. There’s really no need for hostility. And if you can’t control your hostility, then simply ignore that question or that Jelly for awhile.

If you have a problem and the question that you are posting relates to your problem, try to be precise and honest about what your problem actually is, and what kind of solutions, ideas or answers you hope to get. If you aren’t specific, the Jellies will simply give you their best answers based upon their knowledge and experience. Do not become irate when a Jelly asks you to clarify something. If we could read your mind, we wouldn’t even need Fluther. If you don’t like the answers that you get, please do not keep repeating the same questions with slightly nuanced changes in the wording. Jellies grow weary after reading the same questions over and over and over again by the same Jelly.

When you get 100’s of similar answers to your question, but you don’t like any of the answers, take some time away from Fluther to consider if the way you worded your question is really what you wanted to ask. Also, consider that even though you may not like the answers, the answers may be correct. And please don’t be one of those Jellies, who after receiving 100’s of useful, correct answers, say “Yeah, but….” or “You’re not a psychiatrist.” Remember you are on Fluther, not a psychiatric site, so all of us are simply Answer Givers. You’ve asked for advice, we give answers. You are always free to ignore everyone’s advice.

Do not become irate if someone asks you if you are a troll. There are certain characteristics and writing techniques that trolls use. If you are not a troll, simply explain why you are not, and try to write your Q’s and A’s in a better way. If you really are not a troll and you really do want answers, try to be more open and honest, avoid becoming snarky and angry and simply let us know what you need. See above ^^ for problems writing in proper English.

Stay away from Fluther when you are really angry. Cool down a little bit first. If you are very angry when you get on Fluther, you are likely to say something that you will regret, and you are just as likely to say something to hurt another Jelly, even if that wasn’t your initial intent.

Remember that Fluther is a community site. So at any time, every single member of Fluther could potentially be reading what you are writing, so don’t use Fluther as if it is your own personal Facebook page. What I mean by that is, if you talk about inside jokes and people who the collective does not know, or use slangy/coded language, you will come across as not understanding how Fluther works, you are likely to anger or irritate some of the Fluther members, and you are likely to get modded.

If you inadvertently (or even on purpose) derail someone’s thread. Take the time to apologize, directly, on the thread, or in a PM to the OP. It happens, and the motive is usually not bad, but it’s still not fun for the OP. So when you realize you have done it, apologize immediately. Most Jellies will forgive you.

Realize that when a Jelly tries to correct you about grammar or punctuation or just about anything else that has to do with the English language, or the structure of Fluther, they are simply trying to make you realize that Fluther is a great website because of the high standards. Do not become irate when a well meaning Jelly offers advice on how to “correct” your writing, realize that you will be a better member of Fluther once you learn how to write better. If you are unable to accept help from another Jelly, in a polite manner, then simply ignore them.

And last, but not least, if you have any problems, try to restrain yourself from posting nasty messages or quitting Fluther in haste. Simply go to @augustlan, state your problem and ask for assistance. That is what she and all of the mods are there for.

SpatzieLover's avatar

If you were kicked out or stormed out of Fluther, then have chosen to come back in as someone else, please have the courtesy to tell us who you were in the past on your profile page.

there are quite a few “newbs” that are obviously not new to Fluther

mazingerz88's avatar

@Kardamom Re : Simply go to @augustlan, state your problem and ask for assistance.

Would that by any chance include short term loans? Lol.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Here’s my number one rule that was just created, thanks to a lovely PM that greeted me upon logging in:

Don’t ever fucking threaten me.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

#1. ^^ see above
#2. Don’t be a total asshat
#3. Don’t be boring
#4. Don’t eat my chocolate without permission

snowberry's avatar

If you’re @snowberry be very very careful what you say. You never know who’s going to read tremendous meaning into your words, give all the mods headaches, and get fluther all a flutter!

augustlan's avatar

@snowberry Now I have a headache. ~

Berserker's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate Dude, you were threatened? What kinda maniacs we got on here? O_o

mazingerz88's avatar

@Symbeline Some are genetically related to Cookie Monster but they only go for Chocolate Chip cookies. They were nasty. Yurm! Yurm! Yurm!

Berserker's avatar

@mazingerz88 I’m a heroin addict who lives in a garbage can.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@Symbeline Yeah, but he’s an insignificant little ant. Nothing to be worried about. It just mad me mad.

Kardamom's avatar

@mazingerz88 I bet if you asked Auggie nicely, she would actually give you beer money. : )

mazingerz88's avatar

@Kardamom Yey! Beer money!

Berserker's avatar

Really? Dude, I want beer money.

mazingerz88's avatar

@Symbeline Get in line! Lol.

Berserker's avatar

@mazingerz88 No way! ’‘shoves’’ :D

Dog's avatar

Who needs beer money when I am having a keg party? ;)

mazingerz88's avatar

@mazingerz88 subtly scooches over to the keg line. hee hee

Berserker's avatar

@Dog I do, when the party’s out lol.

Dog's avatar

@Symbeline Want to tour Scotland? The never ending beer party!

everephebe's avatar

Three words:
Pancakes served daily.

Jellie's avatar

Okay that theory about every thread turning into conversation about food is too true…

Judi's avatar

@Jellie, since when was fluther pancakes food?

everephebe's avatar

What she said^ but also, Tantalus’s law is true.
Food or nazis, choose one!

mazingerz88's avatar

So no theory on a conversation eventually turning into sex talk? So it’s nazis and food only?

Jellie's avatar

@Judi I don’t see how it’s not food…

Judi's avatar

@Jellie, you have not yet learned the wisdom of the fluther.

Jellie's avatar

@Judi I think I’m missing something here…

everephebe's avatar

All rhythms are sex.

Jellie's avatar

Oh so as @mazingerz88 wished, it is about sex :p

Judi's avatar

You are learning well little @Jellie.

Sunny2's avatar

Let’s get back to rules As Stuart Little said, there’s only one rule : “Absolutely No Being Mean!”

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@Dog Keg party? I would pay to see you do a keg stand!! :P

erichw1504's avatar

Must be completely nekky for all nekked pancake parties.

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