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rebbel's avatar

What would your reaction be (if at all) when your (male) date turns out to have excessive body hair?

Asked by rebbel (31549points) October 17th, 2011

There is a guy that is close to me who was body hair all over.
Lets say like someone who has a nice amount of chest hair think Agassi but then also on his back, arms and legs.
Recently he is wanting to meet (a) girl(s), but his being hirsute makes him feel less confident understatement.
I tried to up this by stating that (most) women probably look at the character of a guy first, and at the body (and hairs) second.
How do/would you feel about this issue?

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25 Answers

marinelife's avatar

If it is extreme, it would turn me off.

wundayatta's avatar

To tell you the truth, I am no longer dating and haven’t been for many years. However, if I were, I would probably like the fur. But then, I was brought up by wolves in the Carpathians and so that’s kind of normal for me. Then again, if I were on the market, I’d probably date women, not men. Sorry. I can’t really help.

Blackberry's avatar

If I were a woman, I would be kind of turned off. But if he had a great personality, his hair would automatically be cute and masculine. Haha.

Coloma's avatar

This happened to me once.

The double whammy…Gorilla back and micro-penis, all in one.

A guy I was dating and the first time we got frisky, oh my. :-/

I was, of course very non-chalant, but, the whole time I was thinking ” OMG…nooooo, this can never work! LOL
No offense hairy guys, with eensy weensey weenies but I like my men mostly hairless and hung a wee bit larger than a Vienna sausage.

I felt just HORRIBLE for him, but…what can I say. We faded away without any hurt feelings.

KatawaGrey's avatar

If I got to like him before I saw the amount of hair on his body, then I would probably make myself get over it.

However, just on the face of it, I hate body hair. A cute little patch on the chest is fine, but lots of hair makes me gag. As I said, however, if I really liked him, I would deal with it.

rebbel's avatar

Thanks for reminding me, @Blackberry, he is a good hearted, charming guy.
Thought I should add that if it makes any difference.
To the not-that-fond-of-hairy-backs answerers: I’ll most probably will not send a link of this thread ;-)
But thanks anyway, of course!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’m in the camp with @KatawaGrey: If the guy I’ve grown to really crush on turns out to be Chewbacca then I’d be ok but if it was just left to initial physical attraction, no go.

tranquilsea's avatar

Put me in the same camp as @Neizvestnaya and @KatawaGrey. I would also get beyond the hair situation if he turned out to be a really great guy.

For a while there I was dating a lot of Italians.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I used to have a “friends with privileges” relationship with a guy who was really hairy. I didn’t mind it. His face was gorgeous, his mind was sharp, and he was funny as hell.

Londongirl's avatar

Well, other attributes may overcome the excessive hair issue… ie look, personality, and other aspects will beat the hairy chest!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I can work around Chewbacca more than micro-penis.

rebbel's avatar

I am starting to think that is might be a good idea to send a link of the thread to him, after all.
Thanks for your input, Jellieettes and Jellies!

Blackberry's avatar

@rebbel But still keep in mind, it’s harder to prove your personality than to prove your looks.

Kayak8's avatar

Yeah, the hirsute thing is probably why I date women . . .

chyna's avatar

I’m not a fan of hairy backs. Maybe he could get his back waxed?

Bellatrix's avatar

At one time I would have said it could be a deal-breaker; that I could not get over the fact that a man is very hirsute. However, I learned this wasn’t necessarily so when I dated this guy who was funny, intelligent, very sexy and basically turned me on a LOT in other ways. So when he took his clothes off and I saw just how hairy he was it was no big deal. I was too into him for other reasons to let that spoil my fun. I do have to add that unlike @Coloma‘s experience, he was not lacking penis department, not enormous but there was no disappointment there.

JLeslie's avatar

His back would have to be extremely hairy to turn me off. My husband has some hair on his back, mostly accross the top and the bottom of his back, doesn’t bother me in the least. I sometimes shave it for him. He has a hairy chest, legs, etc. I am not keen on men shaving their chests. If they naturally have no hair that’s fine, it isn’t that I prefer a hairy chest over a smooth one, I am kind of not very opinionated on it, but shaving seems unnecessary and maybe too concerned with vanity.

I recommend laser to men wo want to get rid of hair on their back. It is oailess when done right with the newer machines, ut it can be very expensive. I pay $120 a treatment I think for bikini.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Tell him about Nair. Better yet, offer to do his back for him.

Haleth's avatar

It’s really not a big deal, especially if he’s nice, smart, handsome, etc. If a guy is a great person, then things about him that aren’t necessarily sexy become sexy, because it’s part of him. Body hair in general doesn’t really do anything for me. But when I fall for someone, I relish every little thing about them, especially the things that make them different and special.

So… body hair is fine. Could be great, even.

wundayatta's avatar

What is the big deal about hair?

judochop's avatar


ucme's avatar

If I were a gal & assuming that I was still swimming in the “dating pool” i’d probably say something like this….....
“Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!”
Just so we both knew where we stood, set the boundaries & shit.

augustlan's avatar

If I already liked him, it’d be no big deal. If the first time I saw him was at the pool or something, I may or may not like it. I think it depends on the whole package.

My ex was smooth-backed when we met, but developed quite a hairy back (and went bald up top!) in the 17 years we were married to each other, and of course it never bothered me a bit. When we were divorcing, though, it did concern him and I think he was considering getting it waxed before jumping back into the dating pool. I’m pretty sure he never did, though, and he’s now happily engaged to a beautiful woman.

thesparrow's avatar

@Coloma LOL! Oh no.. that sounds horrible.

thesparrow's avatar

I guess being hairy doesn’t always make you more of a ‘man’.. (if you know what I mean)

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