So for fun, what can we blame on the menopause?
Asked by
Pandora (
32185
)
October 19th, 2011
I am heading into menopause and I find people (especially women) can blame everything you have to say on menopause. You can say, it feels hot and it actually is 80 degrees and they will say, “oh its the menopause”. Its not really hot. You can say, I’m feeling run down today and can’t concentrate because I forgot to eat breakfast and they will blame menopause. It really gets annoying how menopause gets blamed for everything.
So, I started to think that maybe there can be a way to use menopause to my benefit.
Lets say there is someone I always wanted to call a bitch or any other name. I can say you are such a bitch, out of the blue and then say sorry. It’s the menopause.
Or I can avoid doing something for someone and claim, I can’t seem to remember things since I’ve been menopausal.
So what are some things you can think of blaming on menopause?
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“You are such a good-hearted, good-spirited, sweet guy!”
“Oops, sorry, I meant to say that you’re a jerk…., damn that menopause….”
“Sorry honey, I messed diner up, again…, probably my menopause…”
@rebbel, ah, ha! And follow that last one with we should go out for dinner or order out. LOL
Great way to eat out more. :D
“Oy. Ever since menopause hit me, my hands just can’t take doing the dishes anymore.”
You can blame menopause as the reason you gave antifreeze loaded meat to your neighbors barking dog.
You can use it for the reason you keyed the car that took up two paces at the department store.
You can blame it on why you threw the milkshake back in the face of the rude young person at the fast food place.
You can use it as a reason you poured a pot of coffee down that back of the copier at work.
You can even use it as an excuse why you knifed the tires of the silly young menn on the block who think your street is a raceway for cars.
Ooo, this could be fun, to bad menopause is only for women. I guess when they get it the men-just-pause tee hee.
Hmm! I can see using some of those. except the barking dog. Guess you can blame the poo slinging at their door on menopause.
I think generations of women have blamed that time of month when “the painters & decorators are in” on all sorts of troubles. Which is fair enough I suppose.
This is more about that time of life, not month @ucme
@smilingheart1 No! Ya don’t say! :¬)
I guess anything ranging from a bout of road rage to throttling a jehovas witness could be blamed. No jury in the world could possibly convict I tell ya!!
I have suffered from being cold all my life, and I always looked forward to menopause because I figured I’d be warm once in a while!
True story:
My feet always seem to be cold, regardless of the time of year. I can’t go to sleep if my feet aren’t warm, but since menopause hit, I have a wonderful solution! Now if my feet are cold before bed, I just crawl under the covers and wait for a hot flash. Then instead of throwing off the covers, I pull them over my head. A few minutes later my feet are toasty, and the hot flash has burned itself out warming up my toes! I’m asleep almost instantly. It’s awesome!
@Scooby LMAO, It was probably the menopause. See it can work. :)
Weight gain.
Little patience.
Bigger breasts.
Needing to go cool off because of a flash (meaning leave a room if the people in it are annoying).
Sadness.
Happiness.
Food cravings.
what was the question again? Oh yeah..Memory Loss.
Hahaha..well, I am 3 years out this month and I don’t miss anything about all of that reproductive bullshit. lol
I AM still fighting weight gain and hot flashes…grrr!
Jesus, what kind of cruel joke does nature play with women, periods from 12–50…I have always thought women should cycle like dogs, twice a year would be more than enough as long as we didn’t give birth to litters. haha
I have also joke about ‘Men-O-pause”...yep, I have taken a lengthy pause from men, works for me! ;-D
Eating any and all types of sweet deserts you want.
@JLeslie Great idea about leaving the room. I can definetly see using that one whenever I’m in at a large family function.
“Oh, excuse me I have to leave now and go cool off somewhere”.
” You know its hot flashes from the menopause”.
“Oh, no it’s not that you are a annoying or anything”.
“Oh, were you saving that last piece of pie”. “Sorry with the menopause I just can’t seem to control my cravings”.
Crap, just realised I forgot to add another ‘s’ in desserts.
The Nile changing into blood
Frogs
Lice
Flies
Pestilence
Boils
Hail
Locusts
Darkness
Death of Firstborn
and anything starring Hugh Grant
@GladysMensch Not sure how I can apply that to everyday use for my benefit!
Hey, I love Hugh Grant. Ok, maybe it is the menopause.
I like Hugh Grant too!! Excuses – shagging around, over-eating/drinking swearing and shouting at people, lack of dress sense, getting fat, personal hygeine failure, hey this could be fun!!!
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