General Question

dindinbaby's avatar

What are some responses to "When are you getting married?"?

Asked by dindinbaby (329points) May 12th, 2008

I am a single professional woman closing in on 30 with a serious boyfriend. I am tired of being asked this question and would like some input on how to respond to this constant nag.

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24 Answers

playthebanjo's avatar

how about “when you die”

iwamoto's avatar

what about “is there a man good enough for me?”

rss's avatar

I think your answer would depend on how you feel about marriage and how you feel about the person asking the question.

If you are a person who never wants to get married or will only get married when everyone can get married, then that should suffice content-wise.

If you don’t have strong feelings about marriage (like the above) and you care about the person asking, a simple “when I’m ready” or “it’s not important to me right now” should be ok.

If the person is not close to you, or is simply prying, then tell him/her “sorry, but my personal life isn’t any of your business.”

8lightminutesaway's avatar

you: when are YOU getting married?
them: uh, I am married.
you: oh, that sucks.
them: :( touche.

dindinbaby's avatar

Let me expand. I will get married someday. I am am in a serious relationship. I am also tired of getting this question asked of me. I would never ask, “How is that divorce going?” or “When are you going to quit fooling around with your secretary?” or “Wasn’t that your kid I saw snorting coke on the corner?” I was interested in finding some new retorts (appropriate or otherwise) to noisey relatives.

Bri_L's avatar

“Wow, that is something to think about. Can I get back to you on that?”
“Are you really concerned or just trying to make a point I am not getting?”
“Your a putz”
“Is that really polite conversation?”

chaosrob's avatar

“Well, we need to get permission from his parole officer and his shaman first, and of course there are the fertility rituals, you know how long those go on…”

babygalll's avatar

I was once told if someone asks you a question you don’t like or you simply don’t want to answer. You look at the person, smile at them and ask them the same question.

Giddy's avatar

I always like to smile sweetly and say, “why do you ask?”
That usually gets them stumbling over the foot in their mouth.

Kay's avatar

Them: “When are you getting married?”
You: “When are you going to have children?”

babygalll's avatar

Someone once asked me a very personal question. I looked her right in the eye and said “That’s for me to know and for you to never find out.” I can tell she was pissed off that I didn’t answer her question.

ljs22's avatar

That reminds me of being asked by a coworker if I plan to have kids. In a very cheerful voice I said, “if I’m unlucky!”

bulbatron9's avatar

A long long time ago!

richmarshall's avatar

I think sometimes people ask questions without thinking about how the question sounds.

Perhaps say “when the time is right” and then quickly follow up with your own question about something totally non-related to divert the conversation so they cannot ask follow up questions.

marinelife's avatar

Humor is good for deflection. How about:

“You will be among the very first to know, I promise.”

“It’s on my life list, but I haven’t gotten to that number yet.”

“Oh, that’s what we forgot!” (said with heel of the hand hit to forehead)

“Who’s asking?”

ebenezer's avatar

“What time is it now?”

wildflower's avatar

I was answering that for 6 years. Sometimes jokingly, like:
“We’re running of to Vegas next week”
Other times just straight to the point:
“I’m not in this for a ring or piece of paper. Maybe we’ll get married, maybe we won’t”
“Marriage isn’t that important to me. Our relationship is.”

Bri_L's avatar

@ giddy – Perfect answer! Gets my vote.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

I’m planning to remain in sin forever.

scamp's avatar

When someone asks me a personal question I don’t care to answer I ask them why they want to know. Usually they say something like, “Oh I was just curious”, and I simply say “uh huh.” and then change the subject.That usually puts them off. You could alter this a bit and ask them why your marital status is such a concern to them. It should have a similar effect.

Randy's avatar

Just tell them, very politly of course, that you will get married as soon as you feel that its time to do so. Don’t take their question so harshly. They are probably just curious in your serious relationship.

jasonjackson's avatar

Well, if the person asking you when you’re getting married is your mom, she may be pressuring you, and this advice won’t apply.. but assuming it’s casual friends who ask, my experience has been that people ask questions like that just to be friendly and conversational, really. They generally won’t much care what you say in response, except that if you seem offended or get rude, they’ll probably be a bit put off.

So I’d recommend just laughing and saying something like “oh, when I finally get this guy whipped into shape”, maybe with a wink to your boyfriend so that all parties to the conversation know you’re just lightheartedly joking. And then move on to the next topic of conversation. :)

If your boyfriend isn’t present, maybe go for something similarly lighthearted, like “eh, one of these days when I’m sitting around bored with nothing better to do”.

The point being, the question probably isn’t meant seriously, so give a similarly inconsequential response..

punkrockworld's avatar

‘When I have time’

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