General Question

Jude's avatar

New female neighbor just moved in a week ago; it's 9:15 at night, is it too late to introduce myself?

Asked by Jude (32134points) October 29th, 2011

I live in a 4 apartment large home (150 year old home – with 4 separate apartments). She lives downstairs.

I think that she is sitting all by herself, watching romantic movies and eating popcorn (I can smell it).

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28 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Any guess on her age? Personally, I think age has a lot to do with whether or not a time is appropriate.

lillycoyote's avatar

I think, yes, it may be a little late. If it’s just a neighborly introduction I would wait and do it in the day. If I had just moved in, I don’t think I would want one of my neighbors stopping by and reminding me I was sitting at home all alone on a Friday night watching old movies and eating popcorn by myself. But if you want to hit on her and you think she would be receptive, I say go for it. :-)

Jude's avatar

@lillycoyote My g/f is here with me. The hitting on part won’t happen. :)

LuckyGuy's avatar

After 9:00, unannounced, is too late. She might me in her ‘jammies’ ready to fall asleep on the couch. Tomorrow, introduce yourself properly, baked goods in hand, during the light of day.

lillycoyote's avatar

@LOL. Oops! Forgot about the girlfriend. Sorry! It’s still too late, I think. And, if she’s living alone, in a new apartment, even someone knocking on the door, out of the blue, at 9:30 pm might make her a little nervous. I still think you should wait until during the day, for a number of reasons, not just that.

Coloma's avatar

Yeah, I’d wait, 9ish is on the cusp of “too late” for a lot of folks.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I think she’d like it. Give her an invite.

mangeons's avatar

I’d wait until during the day. She’s probably tired and just settling in after today, a good night’s sleep will have her more ready for visitors.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I would wait.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

You are old farts guys

mangeons's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I wouldn’t normally say nine was too early, but after she just moved in? She’s probably exhausted and not really up for visitors yet.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I’d offer. She’s probably lonely.

DrBill's avatar

Good manners are between 9am and 8pm

Neizvestnaya's avatar

You could go downstairs and take a small bag of trash out, popping your head in real quick to welcome her. Maybe she has hot chocolate with marshmallows too.

wundayatta's avatar

When I was a canvasser, we worked up until 9 at night. People didn’t like it so much when we knocked on their doors around 9, but most would open the door. I think if they were in pajamas, they wouldn’t open the door. After 9 is stretching it. People tend to freak out, at least in the city, when someone knocks on the door late. It’s either a neighbor or it’s a homeless person or beggar of some kind.

There’s a good chance it would be fine, but you could really screw things up, too.

lillycoyote's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe It’s not about being an old fart. A woman living a lone may find an unexpected knock on the door after 9:00 unnerving. Also, it’s intrusive, when you don’t know the person, or the person’s habits. @Jude is complete stranger. Maybe the woman goes to bed at 11:00 and likes to take a hot bath before and then chill out and is looking forward to it, getting it ready and then there is an unexpected knock at the door. Maybe she has children and has already put them to bed. Maybe she had a bad week at work and has been looking forward to quite evening at home all week. Until you know a person and their habits, you never know and I don’t think introducing yourself at this time of night is a good idea or very neighborly.

Bellatrix's avatar

That would be too late for me. I am likely to be in my jammies, snuggled up watching a movie by then. I would appreciate you saying hi but not at that time of night.

Perhaps say hi when you see her next or knock on her door during the day over the weekend and invite her over for a coffee or something? Then it is up to her whether she engages. She might like being on her own.

lillycoyote's avatar

And, @Jude, when you do introduce yourself, I wouldn’t say anything like: “I almost stopped by the other night because I got the impression you were sitting all by yourself, watching romantic movies and eating popcorn, but I decided it was too late.” That’s kind of stalkerish. :-)

XOIIO's avatar

Wow, I always thought @Jude was female.

mangeons's avatar

@Jude is female…..

XOIIO's avatar

Well then… Do go on…

I was confused for a second there.

Sunny2's avatar

Go during the day. Introduce yourself and ask if there’s anything to do to help her in her new apartment: picture hanging; information about near by shops; moving furniture; answer questions. Give her your phone number and unless she invites you in, leave. You’ve broken the ice.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

@Jude…Having ofte been a card-carrying member of the “Popcorn-Eating-Watching-Too-Many-Jane-Austen-movie adaptations-on-a-Saturday-night”, I would wait. Everyone is different, of course. But I probably would not have answered the door, and have risked appearing rude to my neighbors. I simply don’t like being bothered during a movie and/or after I’ve settled in for the night and in a strange, new apartment where I have yet to set eyes on the neighbors during the day. I thinnk that an afternoon “pop-in” is perfect, with a small tin of biscuits and tea or some flowers. It really is smashing of you to be so thoughtful! I tell you what, she is going to be happy to have moved into the building whenever you decide to introduce yourself!

Pandora's avatar

When my husband is away and (I’m home alone, settled in watching tv), the last thing I want to here is a knock on my door and see a complete stranger on the other side of the door. Its just way too creep after dark and your a female sitting all alone.
I would wait till daylight to introduce myself. She may be afraid to answer the door and then too embarressed the next day to meet you and she will feel awkward around you. She may even try to avoid you later on.

Adagio's avatar

@adirondackwannabe She’s probably lonely. Why? Because she lives alone? Living alone does not equate to being lonely, a person who lives alone may be lonely, then again they may not, they may actually enjoy living alone, I do.

zensky's avatar

Now it is.

But 21:15 isn’t late I think.

Aethelwine's avatar

Well then… Do go on… Men~ teehee :P

Too late. I’d wait until daylight.

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