This kind of thing happens every day.
In our society, women are programmed to want comittment and marriage. When they get married everybody is happy for them and they are told that they are lucky and blessed.
Men in our society are programmed to be aloof and make a lot of hook ups and are made to look weak if they want a comitted relationship. They are often called pussy whipped if they enter into a comitted relationship. If you listen to music or watch TV or movies, the media is constantly bombarding men, in our society, with the message that being single will get you everything you want and need, plus you won’t be tied down with responsibilities towards other people. Women, on the other hand are bombarded with the message that being single is a humiliating state and should be avoided at all costs.
This guy may have told the woman that he wanted marriage and a family, because they know that women want to hear that, and they are much more likely to give a man what they want if they think their relationship is heading toward a real comittment. So this guy may have just wanted sex and then after he got all the sex he wanted from this woman, he was ready to move on to the next one.
There’s all sorts of other reasons that this guy may have changed his mind.
He may have liked and appreciated the woman for all of her good qualities, but he may have never fallen in love with her.
He may have loved her at one point and then simply fell out of love with her, and he may have been just going through the motions for awhile, before he actually fled.
He may have fallen in love with someone else and simply not have told his girlfriend. That happens all the time. Next thing the dumped girlfriend might see is this dude with another woman on Facebook, or she might bump into him and his new lady around town, or she might hear it from mutual friends.
He might be gay. There are lots of gay men, who have not yet come out, that desperately want to be loved and to have a family, and they try to “act” straight, and may actually love their girlfriends, but when it comes right down to it, they realize that it just isn’t going to work. And these guys may never tell the dumped girlfriend the reason why, because it would just be too humiliating for them. The gay guy, may never even have a relationship with a man, either. Some poor gay fellows end up living lonely, solitary lives.
He may have realized that even though he wants marriage and family, he’s simply not in a position (in his own perceptions) to be in the right place finanacially, or emotionally. And he may have some fears and ideas about his own perceived inadequacies, that he would never share with his former girlfriend, because it would be too humiliating.
He may have been bombarded by messages from his close friends and family that the girlfriend was not good enough for him (for whatever reason) and he either agreed with them in the long run, or simply couldn’t see himself marrying someone that his family and friends didn’t like, no matter how much he himself may have loved the woman. Some people just don’t have that kind of strength, and the thought of alienating one’s own family is just too big of risk to take.
He may have realized that the girlfriend changed in some subtle or not so subtle ways that were very un-appealing to him after he told her that he wanted marriage and family. I know one of my work acquaintences became this horrific bridezilla about 2 seconds after her fiancee proposed to her. They got married and she became a horrilbe, b*tchy, comlaining, demanding wife.
He may have found out some disturbing information (true or untrue) about the girlfriend, and instead of discussing it with her, he just bailed. That kind of thing happens all the time.
He may have looked back at his parents successful or unsuccessful marriage and decided that he could never live up to the good expectations of their good marriage, or he feared that it was inevitable that he would fall victim to the bad expectations of their bad mariage.
He may have realized that the media messages are likely to be true for him, that he doesn’t need marriage and a family to get his needs met. If this was the case, he probably didn’t want to hurt the girlfriend’s feelings by telling her that she wasn’t necessary for his happiness, and instead he just left, without telling her. He either didn’t realize or care that his actions would hurt the girlfriend.
He may have witnessed the collapse of a close friend’s marriage and got spooked by that and decided that he didn’t want to even risk having that happen to him. So he just bailed instead.
He may have done something awful in his past (could be something major or minor) that he thought was long buried, but now has come to light again and he doesn’t want to have to explain to the girlfriend what happened, because it would be too humiliating, or he thinks that the girlfriend or her family would ultimately reject him when they find out about this “thing.” So instead of talking it out with her, he just flees.
So there are all sorts of reasons, some better than the others, for why a guy would change his mind out of the blue about wanting to get married and have a family with his girlfriend.
Composing members:
0
