General Question

kyleharzo's avatar

Do you ever "hate yourself" for your awkward/embarrassing moments?

Asked by kyleharzo (72points) November 5th, 2011

I constantly remember awkward or embarrassing moments and start to hate myself. Not like I’m depressed or anything, I just think about it sometimes.

Do you ever ‘hate yourself’?
Do you ever think back to awkward or embarrassing moments someone ELSE has had? (and think poorly of them)

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26 Answers

YARNLADY's avatar

Yes, and sometimes they replay in my mind from years ago, and I still feel the same way.

Luiveton's avatar

Yes. Especially when it is/wasbecause of/in—front of someone..

Judi's avatar

I am really good at blocking tehm out. Sometimes the creep in when I am having trouble sleeping. Then it just pisses me off.

Meego's avatar

Not at all.

Sunny2's avatar

No. I’m reminded everyday of my shortcomings, but if I dwell on them, I’ll forget some of the things that redeem me. I’d prefer to think of those instead.

emeraldisles's avatar

I realize there’s nothing I can do to change it and that it just sucks.

Coloma's avatar

Nope. If I make a faux pas I catch it pretty quickly and make sure I “own” it.
Lamenting on past mistakes is futile and changes nothing. If you need to apologize, do it and move on.

shrubbery's avatar

I definitely have before, when I think about them I go red in the cheeks as if I’m re-living the shame, but I actually can’t think of any of those moments right now so I guess I’ve done my self punishment for them until a new one comes along.

CaptainHarley's avatar

No. I just assume that it’s ok to be human and move on about my business. : ))

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Yes, I do. I still cringe with embarrassment and anger at myself every time I think about a huge goofup from a few years back.

Spoiler alert- do not read the following if you haven’t made it through all the Harry Potter books/movies… whatever.

I met some friends at a movie theater to see the fourth (or maybe fifth?) Harry Potter movie. One of the girls was at the concession counter and one was talking to me in the lobby. She told me “Becca hasn’t finished reading “Half Blood Prince” yet, so don’t mention anything.” Having no idea that Becca had returned and was standing behind me, I said, “Wow, it’s been out for a while, but she has no idea that Dumbledore is dead?” I heard this screeching “WHAT???” and turned around to see her shocked face. I felt so shitty and mortified. I still feel shitty and mortified every time I think about it.

gailcalled's avatar

Never. What a waste of a good minute, or five or a half an hour. Who cares?

john65pennington's avatar

No, I do not hate myself, but I do have an embarrassing moment, once a month.

I call this my “dropsy day”. This is the day I accidentally knock over a flower pot or spill something. I never know what day it will be, but I know its coming.

I can usually tell the first thing in the morning, before I get out of bed.

This is just me and it has been happening for at least the last 50 years.

I do not expect it to end any time soon,

woodcutter's avatar

I subconsciously convince myself that I meant to do it. So then it never was a goof. It gets easier the more you do it…trust.

lillycoyote's avatar

Yes, I’m pretty much the same way as @YARNLADY. But those are the major blunders that haunt me. But the minor ones, I just try to face those head on, at the moment, and though can be hard, I will say something like “Wow! That was kind of embarrassing!” or “Jeez, that was certainly awkward, wasn’t it?” and that can sometimes kind of neutralize the embarrassment so I can move on and forget about them. And I occasionally employ @woodcutter‘s method. LOL. The human mind is an extraordinary thing, in it’s ability to rationalize, and to massage and shape the truth, and memory.

cazzie's avatar

Oh… GOD! YES! .... my tummy twists, depending on the degree of time that has past and the level of embarrassment I felt. Blaaaachhh

keobooks's avatar

I think everyone feels like this from time to time. But if you do it on a very regular basis, it’s called “rumination” and it’s an early sign of depression. If I start to do it too much, I call my doctor to check my meds.

Bellatrix's avatar

I don’t hate myself because of my stuff-ups. I’m human. They do pop into my head on occasions and I cringe though.

I remember reading something that said when you get like this, seriously consider whether anyone is really likely to have remembered you doing whatever it is that you find so embarrassing a day, a week, a month etc. later? The reality is most people probably didn’t notice or care that other people made a mistake. They certainly aren’t still thinking about it years later. They are too busy worrying about their own embarrassing errors.

El_Cadejo's avatar

I’ve learned to never be embarrassed. Whats the point? I tend to just laugh instead in these moments because generally they are pretty damn funny if you can remove yourself from the situation and look at it.

One time I was playing football with a friend at school and there was a large group of people hanging around by where we were playing. Well I went out for a pass and was looking for the ball and welll not looking where I was running. Yea I ran fun sprint into a bench flipped over it and face planted into concrete. So laying on the ground seeing stars I had two options, be embarrassed about what just happened to me in front of so many people or just laugh about how funny it had to have looked from their POV. I choose to laugh.

@john65pennington ahhh god I hate when I get the dropsys. Like you, I usually know first thing in the morning its just going to be one of those days. I also have days where I tend to make amazing catches all day. Those days are rare but fun :)

Judi's avatar

Do you mean, like all the typos in my first answer?

wundayatta's avatar

I generally live in fear of such moments. I’ve found that preparation keeps them from happening. Of course, every once in a while you can’t help but mess up. At those moments I look people in the eye and pretend (well not pretend) that I’m used to messing up and it’s no big deal (which, of course, it is).

The worst, though, was when I was a teen, and I never asked a girl for a date because I was so embarrassed that she would say no, and I would get a reputation as a loser. As it happens, that was probably the right move, since when I asked girls out later on, they almost universally said “no.” I learned how to not ask people out, while still asking.

Like my first girlfriend who I met on an outing club trip spelunking. She really couldn’t avoid talking to me when we were stuck together underground, waiting for the people ahead of us to ascend the chimney. Not a date, but just as good as one.

laineybug's avatar

Not really any more, I’ve embraced my awkwardness now because I’m just a generally awkward person.

prioritymail's avatar

I wouldn’t say hate, but I definitely relive these moments and it’s not a pleasant experience. I do feel like I dwell on them but I try not to. I am too realistic to convince myself such things are deliberate. My strategy is to distract myself from thinking about it for a while then eventually face it head on, think about how I got into the position, think about what I should do differently next time, then try to let it go. I try to see these moments as reminders of what being human is, opportunities to grow as a person, and reminders of why I shouldn’t judge others. I can’t think of a single instance where I recalled something embarrassing someone else did and thought poorly of them. Maybe in the recent time after it happens but not way after the fact. I guess I am too self absorbed to do that. I’m much more interested in self improvement. Thanks for asking this question and thanks everyone for sharing. It is nice to know I’m not the only one headsmacking from time to time.

smilingheart1's avatar

There is a cute old Blondie and Dagwood cartoon that depicts Dagwood in his “I should have said moments.” I don’t think there is a person on earth who hasn’t felt like that. Utterly ridiculously, embarassed for things we’ve said, done, boogers hanging out, toilet paper dangling from the back of our knickers long after we’ve left the restroom – women with buttons popped, men with long nose hair hanging down, flys left open, teenage girls with menstrual stains on the derriere.

As embarrassing as life can be for the teens, It gets worse the older we get. In a way it isn’t so bad, it reduces “strutting attitudes.”

Paradox25's avatar

No and no, everybody screws up. Have I been embarrassed? Yes. Do I hate myself or look down upon myself for messing up? No.

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