Social Question

Tbag's avatar

You walk in on the love of your life and find him/her cheating, what do you do?

Asked by Tbag (3325points) November 6th, 2011

It could be your wife or your girlfriend, what would you do? How do you think your reaction would be when you find her/him cheating right in front of you? What would you say?

I would just walk away.. I’m just wondering what would other people do.

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47 Answers

Hibernate's avatar

I wouldn’t know. It hasn’t happened to me. It must be something wrong in the picture if it does.
I wouldn’t know what I’d say.

Staalesen's avatar

Depend on the situation, me and my SO has a very open relationship so it is hard to really cheat per se, but we do have a ask and get a Ok first rule. If I just walked in on them I would probably be really pissed I gues…

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I’m afraid to consider.

cookieman's avatar

Call the police because they’ll need to be arresting me soon.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Walk away…

wilma's avatar

Walk away…

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I’d probably throw the nearest heavy object at his head, then walk out.

Tbag's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate Okay, why his head and not hers? She’s the one cheating too isn’t it? It’s her choice?

Seaofclouds's avatar

In a perfect world, I’d just walk away, wait for him to come out of the room, and calmly tell him to leave.

In my real world, I’d probably start yelling, throwing their clothes at the two of them, and throwing his stuff out of the house.

What happened after that in regards to our relationship would depend on a lot of things and I wouldn’t be able to even think about that until I was able to calm down.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@Tbag Because I’m not married to her. She’s just a meaningless whore.

marinelife's avatar

I would ask them both to get out of my house. Then I would have the locks changed.

wundayatta's avatar

I didn’t exactly walk in on them, but I did follow them up to his room (it was his party we were attending), and then I heard her making the (in)appropriate sounds, and I walked away. Confronted her when we got home. I know other people who have walked in, and then walked out, to confront later.

People may think they would go beserk, but I don’t know. Maybe it depends on your relationship with anger. I think most people are so shocked, they don’t know what to do. Plus, it is so embarrassing. I think a lot of people don’t want to deal with it as a threesome, especially if it is someone you don’t know. If you throw a lamp at them, you might find the lamp coming back… harder.

In my house, there’s no way I could sneak up on my wife, I don’t think. The house makes so many noises that even if you were in the throes of orgasm, you’d hear—especially if you’re used to kids wandering around at inconvenient times.

Most likely I’d see a strange man rushing down the stairs past me, with his clothes hastily and only partially pulled on. Of course, this is all really hard to imagine.

poisonedantidote's avatar

Make them both fear for their life, so I can use the fear to force them in to doing weird degrading shit to save each other.

“Shit on her chest and motor boat her you bastard” shouted the angry man with the weapon.

HungryGuy's avatar

I put her in a big slingshot and hurl her into the sun.

deni's avatar

I, too, would probably throw something heavy, scream, punch him, then leave.

everephebe's avatar

There might be some fist violence or I might just walk away.

HungryGuy's avatar

@everephebe & @deni – No! Don’t let it get to fist violence. You’ll be the ones to land in jail.

Sponge's avatar

Grab my shotgun!! >:(

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’d walk away as fast as I could and get myself somewhere safe and isolated for a little bit. I’d then break out my notepad and pen to start a list of what do to get rid of that person with the least amount of trouble.

Russell_D_SpacePoet's avatar

Be done with it. Infidelity is a deal breaker for me.


Jump in and make it a threesome.

Seriously, I wouldn’t resort to violence. I would just make my presence known, walk out and file for divorce. If she came begging to me for forgiveness, I wouldn’t give in. The end’s the end. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Berserker's avatar

I denno. Probably walk off I guess, but unless it happens to me, (I’d need a lover, first XD) it’s hard to say, really.

cookieman's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate: Is there such a thing as a meaningful whore?


@cprevite Too funny.

(Um, maybe to johns?)

blueberry_kid's avatar

If my boyfriend cheated on me, and I witnessed it? Whooo, man. And I really really loved him? The earth might stop spinning. Well, at least i’d get a rabid pit-bull turned on him.

rebbel's avatar

Wait for the moment they have finished and then light a cigarette.

thesparrow's avatar

Lol.. he wouldn’t even get there unless he got a new pair of shoes, threw out a few horrendous shirts and went to the gym.

wundayatta's avatar

I think this is one of those issues where people have no idea what they will do until it happens. I think most people will be really surprised at what they do, and I don’t think it will be what they think they will do.

AshLeigh's avatar

I would just walk out, and not look back.

lloydbird's avatar…join in..?..

BeccaBoo's avatar

Pull out my phone, take pictures and show the world all over face-book what I found my SO doing with someone that’s not me!!! Then I would call my lawyer, mother and then a taxi, because he is leaving!!!!

thesparrow's avatar

@lloydbird WIth a MALE, lloydbird. Cheating with a MALE.

thesparrow's avatar

@BeccaBoo Why would you need a lawyer? (Assuming you don’t live together and share no common property)

BeccaBoo's avatar

We do, and a child!! So he better be grabbing his nuts as he runs past me or I will have them on toast for my breakfast!!

thesparrow's avatar

@BeccaBoo It’s true though. A woman can find a goldmine in adultery (assuming her partner has the money).

BeccaBoo's avatar

I wouldn’t stop at his money… me he takes everything from me in that moment, then I will take it all back….S..L…O…W…L…Y!!!

thesparrow's avatar

@BeccaBoo Just curious.. what other things could you take? Well, property and possessions counts under money. You’d definitely be able to take the kids as the mother.

BeccaBoo's avatar

Well now lets see….a woman scorned and all that!!! I would start with his family (easy because I have their grandchild) then his friends, and perhaps his job (hmmm they wouldn’t want and adult-er with a mouthy wife around…would ruin their reputation, however if I did that it may stop my maintenance payments! Oh what to do?) Then their are local papers I would ask my nice friends to print the pictures in, then go and have posters of my snapshots printed up and put all over town, especially where the young girls work (the ones he is likely to try and pull) and give them my sob story, with our poor baby in my arms!! There are no limits to what I would probably do…but lets be clear, your title said “The love of your life” and if it was and he did that to me…....whoooaaaa mumma!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

In the state I live in, an wife who has main custody of the child/ren can go through family court every 6mos. to audit her ex husband’s income and have the courts adjust child support and/or alimony accordingly. If the ex wife can prove mental instability in disability then her ex husband also gets to pay for her therapists and health insurance.

tranquilsea's avatar

I’d probably land a few good, or not-so-good, punches on my hubby before leaving.

thesparrow's avatar

@BeccaBoo Ya, there’s a reason that passage is in the bible about woman scorned.

creative1's avatar

I can tell you what I already did, I just turned around and walked out and never turned back. He called and called asking to be taken back but I had no interest in him after that.

captainsmooth's avatar

Cliff notes version: found a second cell phone my ex was using to carry on the conversations of her five month affair with the our next door, married with three kids, neighbor. Left for the day after a huge fight, came back late that night, woke her up by smacking her on the head. Proceeded to yell at her and spit on her a bunch of times (nothing but cotton balls came out because I had been mountain biking, drinking beer and smoking large amounts of weed). She denied what had happened, except to say she slept with him once. Got removed from the house by police that evening, stayed at a buddy’s for a couple of days, got served with a restraining order by the police the morning I came home in front of my then 4½ year old daughter.

My ex (coming up on one year of being divorced) got control of our house because I spit on her after finding out about her affair.

She now lives in the house as it is going into foreclosure (it is way underwater), and it has turned into party central. I go to pick up my children for sports (I coach their teams), and there are people hanging out, sleeping over, her bf sleeps over regularly.

She texts me that she misses me, hates what has happened, and wishes I would come back home, but has never been honest about anything, and continues to lie to me about things that happen with our children, as well as just about anything else.

PS-I got divorced as quickly as I possibly could after realizing that she would never be trustworthy again, have half custody of my kids, live in a 2 bedroom apartment, share one the rooms with my 6 year old daughter (I got the top bunk.) I gave my 10 year old her own room because I thought she needed her own space right now more than I did.

Met a great woman online about 6 months after divorce, and am continuing to heal.

cockswain's avatar

Interesting question for me. A few years ago my instinct would be terrible violence towards the guy fucking my wife, until he was broken and unconscious, then turning my vengeance on my wife. Not sure what I would do, just something terrifying and bad.

Now I don’t know what I’d do. Something sinister, and make them extremely nervous, making them very worried not to do anything I don’t give them permission to do first. But ultimately I’d likely explain how this is going to be the very last moment I ever see either of them again and toss them naked out of the house.

Of course if the guy got an attitude, it would be bad.

I guess I would really just want them to experience terrible fear of me so they would permanently stay away and not ever try to interact with me again.

I wish I could come up with a better answer than this. Something that would allow me to walk away from the entire situation with a sense of peace and justice, but I don’t see it.

Ayesha's avatar

I don’t know, really.

janbb's avatar

@Ayesha I don’t really know either.

thesparrow's avatar

I would really want a man who, if I cheated, seriously was mad and offended. You know, someone with morals who isn’t just going to take it or be like ‘oh honey, that’s okay.. now let ME cheat on you!.. or we can be in an open marriage.’ Honestly I’m saying straight up. If I cheat on a man he better be MAD MAD MAD.

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