Social Question

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

OK jellies, any brilliant ideas for this situation?

Asked by WillWorkForChocolate (23137points) November 9th, 2011

We all know that I’m opinionated and bitchy. I need help with how to phrase something, in a polite, yet firm manner.

How do I tell my family (down-home Southern Baptist folks) that even though I’m a “Christian”, I fully support the rights of the gay community, in a way that will send a clear message that I don’t want to hear any more anti-gay crap about “depravity and sinfulness”, and I don’t want to hear jokes about “fags” or “homos” anymore… without being bitchy or pushy?

I might add that I don’t want to block these people on facebook, and I don’t want to ignore them in real life. I just want them to quit expecting me to back them up on anti-gay shit.

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24 Answers

everephebe's avatar

Jesus on the left. Refer them to John 8:7 & Matthew 7 & 22:39.
By the way I’m totally getting one of these shirts soon…
Oh and you could ask them if they like Clint Eastwood.

filmfann's avatar

“Judge not, lest ye be judged”: Matthew 7:1
“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone”: John 8:7

chyna's avatar

“I know you guys are dyed in the wool baptists and believe everything you read in the bible literally, but the gay bashing and gay jokes have to stop. I love you guys, but this has to stop. We are all God’s children and for you to bash anyone is in effect bashing God.”

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

LOL @everephebe!

Thanks, @chyna, I like that.

augustlan's avatar

“Listen, I know your feelings on the subject, but I don’t agree. I find all the gay-bashing distasteful, and would really appreciate it if you’d leave me out of it.”

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

I would say to them, “Remember, the Lord admonished us to bridle our tongue. Even the angels would not malign Satan, and gay people are not Satan. The Lord loves the gay people every bit as much as us. He may not like what they are doing, but He still loves them. They are doing what they feel is right for them, when the Lord returns He will vet that out, in the mean time we are asked to love them as we would ourselves, and keep our tongues bridled.”

AshLeigh's avatar

“I don’t care if you’re gay, if you’re straight, or if you’re bisexual. As long as you don’t get naked and try to rape me.”
I’m a mouthy little wench, so I’d just tell them how it is, in a very forward way. >.<

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Good answers so far guys, thanks.

As a side note… what the hell am I? What do I call myself? I guess I’m technically a Christian, but I lean more to the left than most other Christians I know. There are only a couple of far right issues that I’m really adamant on. I have no sense of “religious identity” anymore. =0)

everephebe's avatar

Jesus was a mad lefty. You can be lefty and Christian, it’s all good.^

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I guess I never thought of Jesus as a “lefty”.

everephebe's avatar

Food for thought. Jesus was the type to hang out with poor people, give out free healthcare and feed the hungry. He preached pacifism, love, and didn’t care too much about the monetary system even though he was a “job creator.”

dannyc's avatar

In the spirit of our dear lord, Jesus Christ, let’s say a prayer for the souls of all humans, be they of whatever race, color, creed, or gender persuasion. Jesus wants us all to live in harmony and in peace with all people, sinners or not, and so, I ask, in that vein, that we always just adhere to the positive message of Jesus Himself: love thy neighbour. In light of this message of hope, may we not slur our fellow man, or woman, for who they are and turn a deaf ear to those who do. That’s how I might recommend doing it…

Adagio's avatar

Speaking as someone who was past tense a professing Christian for 18 years, I do not think of the Christian faith as being either left or right, I knew Christians from both sides and all the way along the Spectrum in between…

Blackberry's avatar

I assume throwing bible passages at them works. There are more “love everyone” passages than “hate these mofos” passages.

blueiiznh's avatar

The truth is the truth. Can’t argue with the truth.
It’s a personal choice. End of story.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

This work will not end at any specific point and I support you in doing it. Your message must be repeated over and over and you will feel shunned by them, to an extent. Oppressors love to feel neutral and default, they don’t like anyone revealing to them the truth they know already which is that they love to be cruel.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Tell them you love them and respect their religious beliefs even though you have your own viewpoints and understanding of certain issues. Tell them when they speak hatefully of people they distrust, fear or don’t understand, it makes you sad and angry.

As good Christians, their actions and speech should mirror their religious beliefs and faith.
Ask them to silence their hate speech and agree to respect that you and they have to love each other and live in peace despite differences of opinions.

As for friends and acquaintances, the wording will be different but the message is much the same.

Sunny2's avatar

As @Dr_Lawrence suggests, I think rebuking them for hate speech, rather than for their opinions on the specific issue would be wise. The message would be easier to hear and might be appropriate for other issues as well. If they don’t respond, quietly leave the room.

ucme's avatar

Sing out this song as soon as you see them, in a loud & fabulous way!!

Coloma's avatar

Set a firm boundary with a consequence.

” I will not listen to hateful talk about gays and IF you cannot refrain from this behavior in my company I will not be able to be around you.”

Then, stick to it, or you lose all credibility.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Thanks so much for all the answers; they’re great!

Kardamom's avatar

You know I love you all, but some of the rhetoric that you post on Facebook is downright hurtful to me. I am a Christian and you are all Christians and you are entitled to your beliefs, but you have to realize that I have come to an understanding, that for me is much closer to being Christ-like (site examples about turning the other cheek and loving thy neighbor as thyself or any other ones that you like). And you need to know that some of my dear friends and neighbors and even some of my co-workers, who are friends of mine on Facebook or otherwise, are Gay. Because of them I have gone out of my way to learn more about what it means to be gay and I have come to the conclusion that these people are worthy of our love and respect, and they are decent, loving human beings, just like you and me, with families and jobs and hopes for the future, just like you and me. It’s been increasingly difficult and painful for me to read your “jokes” and anti-gay remarks. I’m sure you don’t mean any harm, but you have to realize that there are gay people all around you, some of whom may be your own friends and relatives, or friends of friends, and it is not their “agenda” to harm you or to convert you. They’re just trying to live their lives. But I often feel attacked when I read your comments about “fags” and “sinfulness and depravity” because these statements hit me very close to home, because you are defaming and insulting people that I know, people that I love and care about. I don’t expect you to change your mindset, but I’m asking you as a loving (daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, friend, whatever you want to put in the blank) and Christian woman, to please consider the words and rhetoric that you use and try to tone down some of the language. We Christians are supposed to be a loving people, and I’m doing my best to love you all, while at the same time, to love and care for my friends who following a different path, but still leading towards the same place, (then add in The Love God, or the Kingdom of Heaven or whatever seems like the right wording for where you think everybody is headed).

Good luck with this, please let me know how it turns out. I’m lucky that most of my friends and relatives have a similar set of beliefs, but I have one cousin who spews ugly stuff on FB almost every day. I love her and never confront her and just try to talk to her about the few things that we do have in common, but if it was a lot of people, I would find it very difficult to tolerate. So you have my best wishes : )

CWOTUS's avatar

You could say what I told my in-laws when we started to live near them. (With my father-in-law it was more racial than anything else.) “Your house, your rules. My house, my rules.” When we visited with them and that shit started, I just left the room. When it started at my house, all it took was a look and a raised eyebrow, and they got the message and stopped, or took it outside.

We’ve gotten along well since then – and I believe that some of his attitudes have changed, though I take no responsibility or credit for that.

Paradox25's avatar

I don’t know the people you’re mentioning but from my experience people only believe what they want to believe. I’ve dealt with this in my own family (to a small extent). There are no Bible texts or quotes that will do the trick either since many conservative Christians will interpret the Bible the way they want to. Just be straightforward with them about this, I don’t know what else to suggest.

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