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randomquestionasker's avatar

How common is amfisbitophobia (fear of arguing), and are there any good sources of information on it?

Asked by randomquestionasker (115points) November 10th, 2011

I’m not finding any useful results on google. I believe that I have amfisbitophobia (though not on the internet) and would dramatically benefit from overcoming it.

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11 Answers

lillycoyote's avatar

I’ll be upfront, I am not a big fan of self-diagnosis when it comes to much of anything, including psychological disorders, nor am I a fan of pathologizing every little fear, flaw, quirk and anxiety that people have. True phobias an exaggerated fear of something that generally is serious enough to interfere with a person’s life. What makes you think you have phobia rather than just a fear or anxiety or you are uncomfortable or don’t like arguing ? How does it manifest itself in your life? If you do have true phobia and you want to overcome then you will probably need therapy.

Coloma's avatar

I have never heard of this, however, I agree with @lillycoyote
There is a big difference between quirks and disorders.

Some people are more avoidant of confrontation than others.
Usually those that are of a more introverted nature.

It can also be a symptom of low self esteem.

If you are completely unable to ever stand up for yourself or allow others to speak or behave abusively towards you, or, you keep things in that fester for weeks and months and cause YOU internal distress, you may wish to visit a counselor, but, don’t self diagnose yourself.

randomquestionasker's avatar

I’ve been seeing a psychologist for months and only admitted to my fear of arguing today. It keeps me from having a decent social life. I can’t talk about certain topics to people outside my family without feeling like my heart’s racing and I’m about to pass out. I may not be a psychologist, but I’m pretty sure that my fear isn’t normal.

Coloma's avatar


Sounds like you have a good support person with your doctor, let them figure it out.
I don’t know of you are really young, like teens or 20’s, but anxiety and certain fears and insecurities are common with a lot of youger peeps. Hang in there, I am sure you’ll be fone. We change so much over a lifetime, try not to worry and leave the diagnosis up to your doc. :-)

JLeslie's avatar

@randomquestionasker Fear of arguing, or fear of confrontation? The latter is much more common. How often do you argue with a friend? I almost never do. We are always willing to change a subject or agree to disagree.

Ron_C's avatar

I would expect amfisbitophobia is very rare and that a person that claims this phobia is more -likely ill-informed rather than phobic.

That phobia is certainly not present at this website.

blueiiznh's avatar

Fear of arguing and confrontation is very real and common. Much of it has to do with family of origin interactions. It can be overcome, but interaction with people who allow you to feel safe with is one of the keys.

Ron_C's avatar

@blueiiznh I notice that I don’t really feel safe when I argue with someone. Many people with whom I argued were a bit unstable and there’s no telling their reaction should they severely loose the argument. Mostly in that case I try to let them down gently rather than slamming them with logic. The feeling of safety has noting to do with it. Sometimes there is just right and wrong and people have to be told regardless of the “kill the messenger” mentality.

blueiiznh's avatar

@Ron_C are you speaking from a knowing stance or just opinion.
The fear or phobia of nearly everything comes from a person not feeling safe.

Ron_C's avatar

@blueiiznh I am speaking from experience although this is a new feeling. I was somehow invited to a meeting full of Republicans, Tea Party, and neo-cons. I figured it would be fun to infiltrate. Anyway a news reporter asked me why I was there and I was overheard by some of the “rough trade”, I felt like a Jew at a Hitler youth rally. These people fawned over our newly elected Senator, it was disgusting. Then durning the limited Q&A period they asked long rambling questions about various conspiracy theories. I asked what his party did to increase employment and why Pennsylvania is selling natural gas at bargin basement rates. I never got an answer to either question. I also went point by point through a list of our local Tea Party action items and talking points. It got pretty quiet, I was happy that the State Police were providing security. I then remembered that most of the people probably had guns in their cars.

Yes, I wasn’t that nervous during my tour in Vietnam.

blueiiznh's avatar

@Ron_C great story. glad you are here to tell it. i appreciate your tour of service too

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