Social Question

wundayatta's avatar

Do you ever disbelieve your own feelings?

Asked by wundayatta (58638points) November 11th, 2011

There are people who seem to be faking or exaggerating a feeling, and others may not believe them. This is different. I wonder if there are times when you feel something, but you think you are faking it to yourself?

You’d think we would know if we were trying to fool ourselves, right? But there have been times in my life when I look at what I’m feeling and I think that I must be trying to manipulate someone by pleading a sob story of some kind. So even though I feel bad, I won’t let myself express it because I don’t want to manipulate anyone. Maybe I am deserving of the attention, but I don’t know if I am or not and I don’t want anyone to accuse me of trying to manipulate them, so I try really hard to handle things on my own, even when I really want some sympathy.

This is not something I am doing now, but it is something I have done in the past.

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6 Answers

Coloma's avatar

As long as you are aware of your presentation it is healthy to be able to share feelings and ask for support. But..it’s all in the presentation and awareness.

Asking for support is healthy, manipulating others emotionally is not.

It also depends on how often the need arises. Everyone needs support and some compassion once in awhile, but being emotionally high maintenance all the time is wearing and toxic to others.

Everyone needs to learn to self soothe.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Sometimes when I get worked up over something, I need to address if I’m getting worked up so that I can feel good about doing bad things (smoking, overeating) to ‘deal’.

CaptainHarley's avatar

In my world, feelings are there to warn you of something that needs your attention, or to add color and texture to life. I try very hard to pay attention to my feelings and use my reason to decide what, if anything, to do about them.

Sher_King's avatar

you know @CaptainHarley , you always have great things to say.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@Sher_King

Thank you, but it’s hard-won knowledge that comes from having gone through seven different sorts of hell and ½ of Georgia in my life.

Mariah's avatar

Yes. Sometimes when I think I’m excited to go back to school, I find myself suspiciously asking “are you really so looking forward to going back, or are you just pretending you are because you don’t want to admit you are content with sitting around home making jewelry and Fluthering all day long?” I think the truth is I’m not content, but am also very nervous about going back.

Oh, and then there’s always the occasional “are you reading this sciency book because you’re truly interested or because you want to feel like an intellectual?”

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