If a zombie bit a werewolf and a vampire, and a werewolf bit a zombie and a vampire, and a vampire bit a werewolf and a zombie, what would you get in each case?

undead dog, bat and human roadkill

Chopped liver.

In my humble opinion..
A zombie biting either of the two turns them both into normal zombies.
Werewolf bites zombie, nothing happens (maybe the werewolf even turns into a zombie).
If a werewolf bit a vampire it would stay a vampire, but turn into a werewolf every full moon.
The same thing would happen if a vampire bit a werewolf.
And if a vampire bit a zombie nothing would happen (maybe turns into a zombie).

Wow I really got into this

A bite orgy and rabies.

My ex-wife.

Cleanup on Aisle 5!

Zombie bites Vampire: Zombie gets sick. Vampires are the Un-Dead.
Zombie bites Werewolf: Werewolf doesn’t die, unless Zombie has silver fillings in his teeth, and one comes out.

Werewolf bites Vampire: Vampires already have the Werewolf gene. Might be a little more irritated.
Werewolf bites Zombie: Zombie becomes a werewolf every full moon, if he survives the bite.

Vampire bites Zombie: Probably wouldn’t happen, since Vampires are very cautious of the blood purity of their victims. Should it happen, the Zombie would become Un-dead-dead, therefore, just dead.
Vampire bites Werewolf: See previous note. Should it happen, Werewolf would suffer rabies, and begin hosting tea-party rallys.

A Fluther jelly named @Symbeline, exactly in each biting case. Lol.

The next season of True Blood.

I would get a hairy pastrami sandwich for the first; a large box of over-salted buttered pop corn for the second and a chocolate eclair filled with blood for the third.

I wrote a huge answer about this before in a very similar question, but I can’t find it anymore. And anyways, I have more class (not much, but some) then to copy an old answer and just paste it again. I’m not Vega from Street Fighter. My answer won’t be as big this time though, but I’ll try to get to the main points, as decreed by traditional horror themes, or at least what I personally grasp of them.

Zombie
The zombie virus only spreads to the living. It won’t ever be interested in a vampire, because a vampire is undead, and the zombie probably wouldn’t even register it. But if it did bite a vampire, nothing would happen, because again, the vampire is undead, and the zombie virus is only applicable to the living, and usually humans.

If it bit a werewolf though…well, it wouldn’t have time to bite the werewolf. The werewolf would kick its ass so fast. That’s what werewolves do. They destroy all that moves.
But if it did bite a werewolf…it wouldn’t be affected. The werewolf is already afflicted by lycanthrope, which, in the spectrum of the undead, (although a werewolf technically isn’t even fuckin undead) is a curse much stronger than the zombie virus. If the werewolf reverted back to human though, and THEN was bit by a zombie, it may or may not turn into one. If lycanthrope is more a curse than an actual disease, then the virus may be invalid, but if lycanthrope is a disease, it would be overwhelmed by the zombie virus which affects the brain at its core, and would over wash whatever exaggerated version of rabies that lycanhropy mythologized itself from.

I’d sure love to see a zombie werewolf though.

Vampire
The vampire is the strongest undead thing that exists, and it is cursed by God. The vampire is more apt to control an army of zombies just by looking at them for not even a second, and a werewolf is the vampire’s bitch. (I love Underworld, but still, fuck those movies lol)
Only humans can be turned into vampires, (and pillows, according to some 18th century literature I own, although it wasn’t actually a pillow, but a huge parasite living inside a pillow…pillows! :D ) and a zombie is no longer human. Nothing would happen if a vampire bit a zombie.
The werewolf is confusing though. It is human most of the time. I’m assuming that being turned to the vampire side might actually be a good cure to lycanthrope, if you don’t mind eternal damnation. A vampire biting a werewolf when it’s in wolf shape though…I think it would work, only the werewolf would turn into a vampire after it reverts back to human form, or perhaps the curse of the vampire is strong enough to destroy the lycanthrope right off the bat. (again, disease VS curse) The werewolf is still living, human or not. And technically, it is a human, so if anything, the curse may be withheld until the other curse fucks off.

Werewolf
If a werewolf bites something…well, for lycanthrope to work, you need an immune system. You know, so it can be all affected and shit. Zombies are dead and have none, same for vampires. A zombie bit by a werewolf would be torn to shreds, and a vampire would release a small laugh and make it its slave, or send it to hell, depending on if he’s having a good day or not.

In the end, the zombie wins the rock paper scissor match, because it just don’t give a fuck.

@Symbeline Now you’ve made me wonder where a honey badger would place in this contest.

@dappled_leaves Exactly!

Bored shitless!

There would be a danger of creating a new mutated virus many times worse than the originals. If you ever see a crowd of zombies, werewolfs and vampires fleeing from something in panic don’t stop to think. Just join them, run and don’t look back!

@Symbeline – Hey! I’ve been playing Dead Island for a couple’a days now. You’ll love it! Beautiful tropical paradise location (not some ugly grungy urban dump like a lot of these games), and endless zombies to kill (okay they’re already dead, but you know what I mean…), and you even saw them all as live people having fun at a party during the opening cut scene.

The only complaint I have is that the controls suck. The very first thing you have to do is kick through a door to get out of the hotel. When you grab the door handle, you get a little meter bar with a line waving back and forth. Like wtf am I supposed to do here?!?! Most games use the first level as a tutorial to explain the controls, but DE throws you into the game to figure out the controls by trial and error. At first, that’s not terribly awful because there’s no zombies until you get outside the hotel. But then you’re faced with more complex controls for choosing your weapon that you have to fumble with while hordes of zombies are eating you.

So, once you get the hang of the controls, it’s okay. But, jeez, you die a lot in the beginning levels, not because the zombies are particularly tough enemies, but just because it takes a while to figure out the controls as you play. Also, it doesn’t have a setting to invert up/down, so I either look up when I want to look down and visa-versa, or I have to pause and think about what direction to push the thumbstick to look up and down every time, which sucks.

BTW, I’m playing the Playstation version. Maybe the controls are better on the Nextbox or PC.

Yeah, I’m playing it too. :D (on PS3 as well) I really like it, plus it definitely has a real creep factor. You feel so…alone all the time. Never know when you’ll run into zombies…sometimes when there’s too many, I run away, but those fuckers will follow you to Hell if they have to lol. Also those sprinters are fun to kill lmao. It’s hilarious if you time it right.

The controls are definitely a bit of a mixed bag, and yeah, especially when wanting to switch weapons in combat. I just end up pausing the game and rearranging everything in the equip screen. Otherwise you can loose some weapons you might have wanted to keep. And yeah, damn annoying camera handling. Sometimes I’m fighting some zombies and end up looking at the sky and I’m like…k, dude. Maybe, go in the options and change the battle commands to analogue. I can’t get used to that though, digital works way better.

I agree, some things should be explained a bit better. and all you have is those lame hints in the menus. Like in the beginning, when that voice tells you to run when you encounter a pack of zombies. So I run…but you can’t run through the zombies, and they end up eating you. Turns out you have to turn back from where you came. Well jeez, thanks for telling me there, Sinamoi.

But otherwise this game rocks. There is a city you can go in to, later. There’s zombies galore there…apparently. I’m still stuck on the island lol. Did you take that plane mission yet?

@Symbeline – Nope. I’m still real early in the game. Sometimes, I just ignore the zombies as much as I can and just explore for the fun of it :-p

@HungryGuy Ha yeah, I do that too. Just go in random places, looting everything, and stealthy going by zombies. Not easy to do though…but you actually have a skill where you can put in exp points to make it so zombies don’t detect you as much. Which character did you pick anyway? I took the Chinese girl with the sharp weapon proficiency.

@Symbeline – Yeah, I chose the Chinese girl, too. Being a guy, I wanted to be a guy in the game, but I just didn’t like the “I hate humanity” attitude of the other two.

She seemed the most…how can I say, more realistic character. At least, when it comes to traditional video gaming personalities. The other ones are all pissed off and jaded and shit lol. Purna seems interesting though. Might use her next time around, but the black guy specializes in heavy weaponry, which sounds like a lot of fun. :D

@Symbeline – Yeah, that’s such a stereotype – the black dude (or girl) who’s pissed at the world…

Still, in most games, the player who specializes in melee weapons rather than magic or ranged weapons has an advantage because he’s not constantly searching for ammo and shit. But I just couldn’t take the attitudes of the others. I might play as one of the other characters if I’m inclined to replay it. Some games, (Metal Gear Solid comes to mind) give you a super weapon on your replay for beating the game the first time, so the second time is a cake-walk. I wish more games would do that…

Oh, and did you find the hotel room where the couple became zombies while in the process of making a porno film? Since the woman zombie was tied to the bed, I didn’t have the heart to kill her in “cold blood.” I left her there moaning in the way that only a zombie can moan. I wonder if the game remembers these “moral” choices for later… :-p

I don’t think it does lol. But yeah I saw that. Then that guy’s just there, against the wall, I thought he was dead…then he jumped me.

Well, you have a nice heart. :) After killing him, I fucked that bitch up lol. And that music coming from the stereo lmao XD

Yeah I denno if this game gives you some super weapon…if anything, it might let you keep all the loot and weapons you had when you finished it. That might be nice, keeping all your strong shit…and having no money to repair any of it near the beginning lawlz.

…why in hell are people charging you money for things in this anyways?

@Symbeline – I guess there has to be some challenge to getting better weapons. But yeah, you’re right. I can see the need to hoard cash to get food from the vending machines. But what creep charges for stuff in a survival situation? In real life, everybody would take his stuff for sale and throw his ass to the zombies. At least the guy in the gas station gave me a free tank of gas for killing the zombies in his garage :-p

Oh, and wtf is that crashed plane?!?! I’ve searched all through the jungle and I can’t find it. That girl in the lighthouse keeps digging me, “C’mon, it’s a jumbo jet, not a needle in a haystack!” I want to turn her into a zombie soooo bad!

Oh, and by the way, I found the option to invert the vertical look axis. I don’t know if that matters to you, but as a long-time fan of flight sims, I’m used to “aircraft” style pitching up and down to look.

@Symbeline “Only humans can be turned into vampires, (and pillows, according to some 18th century literature I own, although it wasn’t actually a pillow, but a huge parasite living inside a pillow…pillows!”

tsk, tsk. Pumpkins and watermelons can be vampiric. Please submit you folkloric monster license for review.

@dappled_leaves Honey badger don’t give a fuck.

@fundevogel That reminds me of those caterpillars affected by what is the closest to an actual zombie virus. Can’t find the link anymore, but it was creepy.

@HungryGuy I know what you mean about that girl…everytime she bitches at me I’m like, why don’t you go find it then. And what the hell, if it crashed, it’s not like it’s any good anymore. And even so, is there a pilot in the lighthouse somewhere?

@Symbeline There are some freaky weird mind control paracites out there. Click at your own risk.

It’s actually a lot like the vampires in The Strain which were gnarly as all get out. Wasn’t too into the book otherwise.

Ha yeah, insane snail parasites. Those screenworms are bloody nasty. O_O Man, imagine having a colony of those up one’s ass…guh.

I read a kickass memoir a while back by Harry Crews. Ordinarily he writes twisted southern gothic novels but this one was about growing up dirt poor on a tenant farm in 1930’s Georgia. There was a bit where he talked about de-worming livestock. It was disgusting. If I remember correctly they literally tarred the compromised flesh kill the worms and deter further infection.

Clearly Laura Ingalls Wilder was adding a layer of polish to her books.