General Question

kyleharzo's avatar

How do I get this girl to like me?

Asked by kyleharzo (72points) November 23rd, 2011

There’s this girl who I sit next to in science class that I have casual conversation with, but we usually have an awkward silence when everyone else is talking and she doesn’t talk as much with me as she does with other guys. A lot of other guys like her too. I’m also in her french class, but I barely talk in that class and I’m on the opposite side of the room as her. I haven’t made any efforts to talk to her outside of science except on facebook where she asked about homework once and we worked on a project together. I see her sometimes in the hall, but I never walk up to her because I don’t know what to talk about. And I don’t wanna be that boring kid that only talks about school. And we’re both kind of socially awkward. So pretty much, I’m in the friend zone (or more like acquaintance zone) and I’m pretty sure she likes someone else. Can I ever get her to like me?

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24 Answers

flutheragain's avatar

You could do something nice for her and let her know that you like her. At leased then she knows.

kyleharzo's avatar

@flutheragain I’m hesitant to tell her too soon. I want the best possible chance with her.

CWOTUS's avatar

Don’t ever “try” to get a girl to like you. Worst. mistake. ever.

You can certainly work on starting conversations. You can work on developing interests (and a library of books read, for example) so that you have things to talk about and compare “this” to “something you know” (where “this” is something that you share with the other person). You can become more interesting yourself. These are all things that you can do to improve your general attractiveness.

As @flutheragain suggests, you can also “show interest” in helpful (and appropriate!) ways, and that might make you more attractive. But don’t “try” to be attractive. That just looks pathetic, and even if she never remembers you that way, you will, and that’s more important.

john65pennington's avatar

If men had the answer to your question, they would be married to the love of their life.

There is no answer to your question. You cannot make someone love or even like you.

Here is a suggestion: its the day before Thanksgiving…a month before Christmas. Go find a very fitting Christmas card for her. A card that explains how you feel about her. This could be an icebreaker for you. Women love cards and most save them forever.

What have you got to lose? Go for it.

marinelife's avatar

To like you, she has to get to know you better.

You would talk to her about what you would talk to your guy friends about: books, movies, music and bands. Then work your way from conversation to seeing her outside of school (say it’s about current movies; you can ask her to go with you to see one you both want to see) or say you are talking about coffee vs. tea (you can ask her out to have a beverage).

tedd's avatar

Just be yourself.

The more you try to impress her by being someone you’re not, the less likely you are to accomplish your goal.

Talk with her, use your own personality, etc.

The only real “advice” I can give you is to not be afraid of talking to her or anything along those lines. The worst thing she can do is eventually say no to dating you or something… and in the grand scheme of things, f*ck her, there’s 3+ billion more girls to choose from.

kyleharzo's avatar

I guess the real goal here is to get to know her better and for her to get to know me better. I want to be more than an acquaintance to her (I might be considered a friend, but our relationship is kind of obscure).
I don’t wanna be someone I’m not to impress her. I wanna be me to impress her, but I’m too shy around her to be who I am when I’m around my friends.

tedd's avatar

@kyleharzo Then get over being shy. I know that may sound hard, and that initial hurdle of doing that one act of not being shy… and talking to her… probably will be hard… But once you’ve done it you’ll realize just how stupid-easy it was. Life is short, there’s no reason to let shyness, or fear of failure, keep you from trying anything you want to do.

Roby's avatar

If your good loking you wont have a problem.

woodcutter's avatar

Make her laugh, that is the key in.

kyleharzo's avatar

@woodcutter I’ve done that already, but we still don’t talk much and we’re pretty much aquaintences.

flutheragain's avatar

@kyleharzo u could ask to borrow her copybook for a minute and write a sweet little message in it? That way you can plan ahead, know what u are going to write. If you let it be really obvious you like her, she probably still won’t be sure, at that age. But you’d want to do it quick because next thing she’ll have a boyfriend!

kyleharzo's avatar

Oh great. She married a guy that likes her on facebook. Which means there will probably be a real relationship coming up.

CWOTUS's avatar

You’re not an idiot, are you, @kyleharzo? You don’t suppose there’s any chance that a relationship started and then he ‘liked’ her on FB? That’s not impossible, is it?

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Bide your time young friend. Focus on forming a friendship with her. If you stand back and wait, your heart may get stuck on her for many years. By becoming friends, not only will you have a better chance to win her heart in the future, but you may also discover that she is not the one for you.

Good luck, and please keep us posted.

answerjill's avatar

Ask her out on a study date, maybe – like, just make plans with her to meet somewhere like a coffeeshop or the library. You can chat a bit and make small talk before you get down to your studying. Maybe you can buy her coffee or icecream or something before or after you do your work.

kyleharzo's avatar

I’m getting to know her better, but she seems to be avoiding me. I talk to her in one class. I have another class with her that we don’t talk in, and sometimes I see her in the halls. She seems to be avoiding me because we only talk in that one class (where she doesn’t have any other friends) and she never likes any of my facebook statuses or comments or anything, but I’ll like hers and comment. She only chats me to ask about homework in that one class we talk in.
I’m not popular, I only share one friend with her, (the guy who also likes her, and I’m pretty sure she likes him back). And she’s relatively popular, with a totally separate friend group.
Her avoiding me is what keeps us as acquaintances rather than friends.
She’s not snobby or popular, just relatively popular. She’s actually pretty shy around people she doesn’t know. I don’t think she’s using me for homework, I just offer it to her if she needs help and we’ve never flirted before, only talked casually.

tedd's avatar

@kyleharzo Well go into it with this mindset… It happens, or it doesn’t… and either way, who cares?

The more care free you are, and real (as in the more you act like yourself)... the better chances you have with her. But don’t be afraid or upset if it turns out she doesn’t reciprocate those feelings.

All through middle school and high school I wasn’t terribly popular, and didn’t do too well with the ladies. My luck in college, dramatically improved… lol.

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glut's avatar

If you want this girl to like you act like a gentleman and be very kind to her and treat her with

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NomoreY_A's avatar

My word, adolescent angst..all I can say is be yourself, and see what develops. Or walk up to her, and ask her to promote you to friend status at least. Don’t settle for lowly acquaintance status. Women (and girls), seem to have levels of relationship status.

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