General Question

WhiteWingDove's avatar

Adults sharing beds normal?

Asked by WhiteWingDove (388points) November 27th, 2011

Okay, I was a little freaked by 2 scenarios and can’t get past it.
First time we visited his 50ish sister, she offered to share her king-size bed with my 3 elementary age kids. We (kids and me) were creeped out, but the fiancee didn’t see a problem, because she had her kids sharing her bed until they were in high school.
About 2 months later, several family members were meeting up in resort town, and we didn’t have a hotel reservation prior to arriving. I kept asking my fiancee before dinner, but we ended up ‘rooming’ with his 2 sisters in a room with a king bed and a sofa (not sofa sleeper). It was me, fiancee and that same sis in the bed, the other sis on the sofa. They thought it was fine, me (in my 40s) was uncomfortable all night. This was not a blizzard, hurricane or other unplanned event, and I definitely could afford one night’s lodging.
These people had a hard life, family ‘didn’t have a pot to pee in’, bless their hearts but I can’t believe they think I’m ‘high-faluting’ because of sharing beds while traveling, or having my kids sleep with strangers….
Am I so wrong? These scenarios have dogged me for over 10 years….

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13 Answers

chyna's avatar

Growing up that way probably makes them really thrifty. They see nothing wrong with it and it’s clearly nothing sexual.

MrItty's avatar

Having your kids sleep in the same bed with strangers is wrong, no matter your financial situation or history.

Consenting adults sharing a bed is, obviously, up to those adults. The fact that you weren’t consenting, however, presents a problem. You should have put your foot down, and said “I don’t care how you were brought up. I was brought up in such a way that this makes me uncomfortable, and I’m not doing it. Period.”

marinelife's avatar

I would be uncomfortable in both of those situations too.

jrpowell's avatar

Wouldn’t bother me. Ten years ago I was traveling with my sister to Seattle and I shared a hotel bed with her four year old twin girls. This might sound crazy, but I made through the night without wanting to stick my dick in one of them.

HungryGuy's avatar

It all depends on your culture. In some cultures, families sleep and bathe and whatnot together, and there’s nothing sexual about it. If it makes you uncomfortable, you’ll need to explain that to them (tactfully, imagine them coming to visit you and having them all refuse to eat the food you served and instead set out food that they brought for themselves, that’s the kind of thing in reverse you’d be doing to them if you refused their hospitality) how your culture and their culture are different.

whitetigress's avatar

Sharing is caring.

bkcunningham's avatar

It wouldn’t bother me either. I was raised in a three bedroom house with seven siblings. Four boys and four girls. The girls shared a room and the boys shared a room.

SavoirFaire's avatar

I don’t think you’re highfalutin, but I don’t think he’s strange either. This is just a matter of being raised differently. If you or your children are uncomfortable with it, don’t do it. But don’t think less of anyone for suggesting it. It’s not wrong, it’s just unfamiliar. Like eating snails for an American.

judochop's avatar

Adults sharing beds….Yes, if you are mature enough to handle it. A bed is for sleeping, why would you want your friend on the floor or a couch that does not fit them?

Nullo's avatar

It’s a matter of of what you’re used to. I would share a bed on occasion until I was about 12. My sister still bunks with Mom when Dad and I go camping.

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JLeslie's avatar

The first situation is odd to me, but if there was only her bed to sleep in plus another, and she was trying to give the other set of parents their own bed, it is not completely weird necessarily in the circumstance to offer.

While travelling I don’t find it odd at all to sleep in the same bed with a friend, especially of the same sex, if beds are limited. I have done it several times, with various friends.

Maybe you are high faluting because you always had enough beds to go around? I am not accusing you of it myself, just suggesting that limited beds mean people sleep together sometimes. If you never had to share a bed it might make you very uncomfortable. In the college dorms we many times wound up crashed next to each other.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

Yes, once I slept over at my sister-in-law’s house, and discovered that we were sleeping in the same full-sized bed. It was kind of weird to me, but then her family was large and she grew up sharing a bedroom with five sisters and two beds. Also my best friend in high school and I used to stay over at each other’s houses and share a twin bed, but that was a long time ago.

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