Would you leave your local bar, your club or your team because you had an argument with some of the people there?

I guess the answer comes more easily to me with the bar or club scenario – if the community stops being a fun place to visit because of the animosity with a few people, then I imagine I would leave. Because Fluther is anonymous, and because it’s possible to lurk here without interacting with anyone, I suppose it would be easier to stick around… and then be drawn into a conversation despite the intention to stay uninvolved. So, I guess I would find it easier to leave a real life community than an online one. Then again, I am not the type of person who often lets arguments reach the “that’s it, I’m done with you” stage.

I am a pretty sensitive guy, so if it would happen that I was really attacked here (publicly) I would probably feel the urge to leave.
Not saying I would answer to that urge, but I would be a bit upset and consider it.
If a whole bunch of people would feel the need to attack me, I might really go away.
Or not, to annoy them (even) more :-)
There are, by the way, members who left because of other reasons than just being disliked, or annoyed (by others) or being treated disrespectful.

I think it depends upon one’s level of ego-strength in a sense. I see debate as healthy so it’s rare that I would let something spiral into an argument in the first instance. If that did happen, I’d brush it off, put it down to experience and get on with things. In the past, I’ve avoided going places in case certain people I wanted to avoid confrontation with were around, but like you put it, “everywhere you go – there you are” so thankfully I’m learning.
Whether people like me or not doesn’t really come into it. It’s always an added bonus but in general, it’s an excellent site so why would I leave?

There are quite a few people here who I don’t like or get along with. But there are plenty more who I think over ride the unpleasantness.
As in the other situation, I don’t think I would leave either. For example, there is a mutual hate between me and one of the boys on my school’s newspaper. He even once got me lost in the woods around my school. But he is also the guy who gave me my username and I like writing enough that I’ll bear his bullying.
I’m sure I’ll rule him one day.

I think it’s mostly a matter of whether you let people’s words make you angry, how good you are at ignoring those words when you want to, and how much you dislike being angry.

If you really dislike feeling angry, and you find you get angry whenever you come around here, and you have trouble ignoring that which makes you angry, I imagine leaving is the most comfortable option.

I get far more joy than negative emotion out of Fluther, and honestly I get a kick out of the occasional raise in blood pressure that comes with an internet debate, so despite having been embroiled in some heated arguments, I’m still around.

I’ve taken long breaks from here. I don’t mind strong debate but when a few people don’t debate a point I bring up directly and instead resort to word games, semantics and insults it can get a little aggravating at times especially when it is an issue that is important to me.

I believe that people bringing in different viewpoints about different issues is a good thing. I have found that all websites attract certain types of people. I could just post on websites where others agree with me but after a while that gets boring so I save those sites for when I want to discuss, not debate certain topics. Personally I prefer to debate others in person though when I get that chance.

Fuck no.

And, for the record, I don’t sleep on the couch either.

I’d never leave if some pointless nobody felt the need to vent their insecurities in my direction.
Just laugh & move on to the next arsehole question.
As for in the real world, I think it’s fair to say I stand my ground, unless they’re built like a brick shithouse & clearly not of sound mind.

Well, can I contact those within the community whom I enjoy via other means? Because if so, then what use is the community to me?

As for Fluther, I’m not sure ignoring is really that easy. It often seems rude to ignore someone in some instances – like when you’ve asked a question, and they’ve responded (and maybe they are the only person who’s responded accurately for more factual questions).

I think there’s often a cost/benefit analysis in looking at various communities. If the costs outweigh the benefits, then the question becomes not why would you abandon that community, but rather why wouldn’t you.

Sometimes the rules themselves, or the unthinking application of “the rules is the rules” or the application by certain individuals makes the place less appealing. In addition, quite often the level of discourse, where no one at all can see the truth of the emperor’s new clothes (especially in political and economic issues where it seems everyone has drunk the Kool Aid) make it an intellectual desert. Both of those things often make me take a day off, but I come back because I figure that someone needs to be the adult here. And I know that you know what I mean.

I wouldn’t leave for something like that, not if I like the place and get along with most people. And even if I didn’t, I’d probably stay. Maybe some people leave after such incidents hoping to be convinced otherwise, or to be chased after. Maybe some are pissed that nobody defended them, and take that as an insult from the general masses. You’d have to be pretty damn self centered for that though, and I’m sure some people are, but maybe they don’t see it the way I do. Maybe they really do feel hurt, instead of being attention whores. Just that sometimes it often seems like that, but I’d have to be in their minds to really know.
Or maybe they don’t think it’s worth it to stay, if they generally never have a good time here. A part of the problem is probably them, say someone is known to constantly get into fights and shit. But that’s not really the point, rather than the place not catering to them, I guess.
Or maybe the rules, as mentioned. Say something happens that finds you in a unfavorable situation here, but that it was mostly enforced by rules, it may not be a place for you. If I like a bar, but can’t smoke in it, fuck it, I prolly won’t go there often. But that’s getting to be a far cry from getting in a scuffle with someone, and abandoning a place because of it.
I wouldn’t blame a place for a spat with one or a few people, even though everyone, in their way, defines the place. Although it might be hard to ignore. But usually I do fine, and anyways my spats with people here have been few and far between.
I denno. We’d really need to ask those who left. But since they left…erm.

Anyways. I say I wouldn’t leave, and I stand by that. But I guess I wouldn’t really know how I’d feel until I felt the actual need/desire to leave after something like in your details might happen. Until then, if I disappear from here and never come back, you can assume that I was devoured by zombies, or got hit by a car or something. XD

Just like clubs… some people leave because it no longer is fun. They might feel that the questions have turned stale and repetitive, might feel that their answers don’t generate positive responses, or might have gotten bored with online interactions so they don’t stay because the enjoyment is gone. People do quit their regular pubs when the beer gets bad.

Some others might leave because their answers don’t get the response they’re hoping for—in other words, their interactions on Fluther don’t fit what they’re wanting or needing. They also might crave more frequent feedback, positive or negative and aren’t getting it here.

I know a few who left because they were overwhelmed by the intellect here and felt that they couldn’t keep up.

I think some people come here and are happy to chat and interact, regardless of the reactions they get from others and seek out like-souls inside Fluther. The interacting itself is the fun part, but some people come here looking for positive feedback to their contributions. I’m here because I love to read and talk—feedback, of course, is a plus.

Some might need to leave or take a break because something in their personal life is preventing them from making sense of things. Not everyone is comfortable sharing their frustrations here, so they they simply need to be alone for a while to figure things out.

That’s what happened with me- I took a break because something happened outside of Fluther to throw my coping skills off-kilter, and I couldn’t get my thoughts straight. Nothing embarrasses me more than exposing my feelings—I don’t even talk to my own family about my emotions when they feel eviscerated. So, I took a break, feel better and am centered… and if I’m judged for choosing that option… oh well.

My point is when people leave Fluther, it might not be as simple as just not liking a jelly. It’s strange how, here, we’re so anonymous yet so exposed.

@zensky, you’re such a constant fixture here that you’re part-owner of the mansion so your lurve for this place is evident, you warm fuzzie jelly, you!

If it was not providing the same stimulus, then it would wither away.

I would leave on my own accord, not because of some random Jackass.

I’m like you, @zensky. If someone can’t stand my presence in the room, they are welcome to leave, but I am in no hurry. So long as punches aren’t being thrown, it’s easy enough to coexist with those I disagree with. I suppose if the whole group ganged up and made it obvious I was not welcome to anyone there, I’d prefer to spend my time somewhere else. But short of my trying to crash a KKK party or some such, that’s not likely to happen.

I will be a chicken fried in hog fat before let someone run me from Fluther. I am quite sure I annoy the heck out of more that annoy me. There are some that try to annoy me, I take it as a badge of effectiveness. If they notice me out off all the others they can comment on, then I guess what I am saying must be important enough for them to read it. I am not leaving Fluther because they got cheeky, rude, or whatever; the same way I would not leave anything, or going to any other place want to frequent.

My incredibly busy November is beginning to wind down, and I’ll be back in full force here at Fluther soon. I have to say, @zensky, that I wouldn’t let those things drive me away from a group I’m passionate about in real life, so I certainly won’t let it drive me away from some Internet site.

The times that I have taken a break from Fluther it has been more about how I have been acting, how I have been responding, how cranky I have been. I know that when things and people here start to annoy me and I start to get testy, that it is time for me to take a break. I have never felt any need or desire to commit “usercide,” to completely separate myself and from this place or any site that I have been on; to close my account and burn my bridges. I think people might get way to invested in things and the only way they have to extricate themselves is to end it.

While I am reasonably invested in this place and I have an emotional attachment to it and to some of the people, and I am invested in it enough that maybe I take things too personally sometimes, I can’t see myself ever needing to completely sever ties here, to stick my head in the fluther oven and end it all. I don’t like burning bridges that don’t need to be burned.

I like to leave my options open. If I am bored or unhappy here I will just walk away, I don’t think I would ever close my account; that seems really drastic and is something that can’t be undone. I try to be very careful when I am contemplating and considering doing things that can’t be undone.

One person could not make me leave, but if several people were constantly giving me grief I might consider a break. Simpy disagreeing would not equal grief, I expect disagreement on fluther.

If there was a jelly I really could not stand, and they were on many many Q’s that I am on, and tended to monopolize the answers, it would get tiresome after awhile I guess. Fluther would be less fun in that case. But, generally there are plenty of awesome jellies, so the annoying ones are just a little pin prick of a pain.

I think the above answers are all very thoughtful and considerate. That’s one reason I like Fluther. That said, I can imagine people who are not very comfortable with who they are, taking arguments personally and leaving. They want a site where everyone agrees with their point of view. If the action is contentious here, and sometimes it is, they may move on. That’s their prerogative. I tend to avoid contentiousness myself, but that’s just me. I have enough negative things going on in my life that I’m not interested in arguments that are only a matter of point of view or unprovable “facts.”

It depends. If the argument has caused the club to not be fun any more, I would leave. And actually have done so; I left a folk club I used to attend because I had a major argument with the person that runs it (for sexual harrassment).

If we were likened to canines rather than jelly fish I would say that we are 65% lovable labs and their various friendly kennel friends, 25% high maintenance poodles, 5 percent of the serious yappers and 5% mean biters. I treasure everyone here, all of our intrinsic selves. We are all doing the best we can with whatever knowledge and experiences we have acquired in our journeys. I think one climatizes to fluther eventualiy. I am fond of many and biters can be good teachers one realizes once the swelling goes down!