What would you ask of your alien captors if you were ever abducted?

I would ask for telepathic lottery-number control. I guess I am very materialistic.

I would ask for peace on Earth.

My only request would be that they preserve my anal virginity.

I would ask to travel the universe with them.

I’d ask to be taken to their leader.

I’d want to know if they were as disappointed in the season finale of LOST as I was.

What exactly is it that you hope to achieve with all this anal probing?

That they use the small probe, please, and warm it a teensy bit.

I would tell them of the glories of magnetic resonance imaging and similar technologies that render the endoscope obsolete (even though they don’t really).
In exchange, I would want information – preferably with working models – on their spacefaring technology, like the power plant, propulsion and communication systems, environmental controls, whatever they use to hold things to the deck, and the system that keeps them from turning into grease spots from the acceleration. And anything else that they had lying around. I support the right to keep and bear ray guns

Worst-case scenario, I’d ask them to fix the arches in my feet while they were in there.

I would ask them to train all humanity how to be cooperative and to share and be empathetic and non-judgmental of others. Yep. That oughtta do it. [rolls eyes]

Under the orange tree.

The same things I ask for in a restaurant: unsweetened iced tea with extra lemon, gin tonic with extra lime, and “what’s good on the menu tonight?” (That last, I think, might be completely apropos to the whole ‘alien abduction’ thing, too, eh?)

And I would definitely smile and be sure to say “please”.

The Superman flying ability (and don’t forget the Xray vision) would be nice, but not at the expense of having to wear that silly cape.

In being a good person? Ask them to find a solution to end world hunger or global warming.

In being a selfish person >:-}.... Ask them for the ability to fly or be invisible or to have a force field.

I would ask for some top notch implants in return for making my ass very available for experimentation.

Are we talking about aliens from outer space here, or illegal border-crossers? : )

why would we be talking about your ancestors?

As a certified Heinz 57, I probably DO have some illegals in my background! : D

I might say, “You dorks have any Ozzy?”

I’d be all like, yall got some beer up in this bitch?

I’ll ask to probe their anuses first and see how they like it.

@mazingerz88 What if they do like it?

@Symbeline Two words. Be gentle. : )

LMAO @Symbeline

How does this Yabba Ray thingy work?

Take me to your reader.