Can you come up with an odd new simile?

It was so cold, hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs.

That centipede was moving fast! As fast as the UPS guy in brown shorts on a very cold morning!

I’m as unlucky as a homeless man kicked out of an OWS protester’s tent.

The truth was as sugar-coated as a peanut soaked in syrup, rolled in sugar and dusted with icing.

My 4-year-old told me yesterday: “You worked as long as a potato sandwich”

(Not sure what he meant, but it was memorable)

It will be impossible to find, like looking for a needle at a porcupine conference.

He’s as speechless as Rick Perry in a debate.
He’s as clueless as Rick Perry in a debate.
He’s as humorous as Rick Perry in a debate.
He talks like Rick Perry debates.
Rick Perry debates like a redneck pump jack on a lunch break.

Her outfit was like a tweet, hardly even covering the essentials.

Although having her along wasn’t essential, he did find it comforting, like a breakfast burrito on the way to work.

Expect the party to be like a tweet, with a maximum of 140 characters.

His suggestion was like Steve Jobs: brilliant, but stone cold dead.

Too soon.

My grandmother’s Sprigerlie cookies, fresh out of the oven, were as hard as the same cookies three weeks later.
This isn’t fair to my grandmother ( rest her soul) or to the cookies . . . I’ll think again

@zensky It’s only smart when it stings.

He knew it was well intended, but he received it like a hug from Sandusky.

We were packed in the car like rounds in a clip.

From a former student- it’s slicker than a frozen loogie out there.

It’s so dark out that I could probably find my way easier in Satan’s asshole, after he was locked into a windowless oven.

That concrete we poured for the patio last week has set up harder than a wedding dick.

@picante
dude, rick is one of our own. Even if he does spell his name with a silent “P”.