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comity's avatar

Who has inspired you to do better?

Asked by comity (2837points) December 6th, 2011

Is there someone in your life, past or present, who inspired you to do better because of their difficulties, their goodness or even the bad things they’ve done?

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24 Answers

JilltheTooth's avatar

My Dad, then my daughter.

Paradox25's avatar

No, actually I never really was into role models but there were a few people that I admired. In the end my own motivations came due to both my hardships in life combined with my varied interests of many different things. I guess I inspired myself since I never had any real positive role models unfortunately.

comity's avatar

My parents believed in “spare the rod, spoil the child” and my childhood wasn’t the easiest. Because of the hard times I had , rather than emulate them, I raised my children in a more positive fashion. So, they were an inspiration of sorts.

smilingheart1's avatar

My husband and my mother-in-law have left great furrows of demonstration of lives well lived. Their way of being, the spirit about them was joyous and unaffected. They were like two unique trees bowing with the winds on a hilltop. They just stood their ground, being them and yielding whenever it was the best thing to do. I have a special friend now who is very much like that, however I sense the difference is that this friend has had the path of brutal adversity shape him. The end effect is the same as with the first two key influencers but the path getting there has been one very much of pearls forming from oyster like rubs.

JLeslie's avatar

A close college girlfriend of mine inspired me to be positive and supportive with the people closest to me. She said to me one day, “I don’t understand why family members say mean things to eavh other and tear each other down, I always thought people are supposed make the people they love feel better about themselves.” It really resonated with me.

My exboyfriend taught me to be more forgiving. His family was very close. They did a lot of obnoxious things, but they also had this underlying united feeling among them. Forgiveness, and not letting little things that can make each other angry matter much was part of their dynamic. They rarely held grudges, they were not weighed down by that sort of anger.

My husband inspires me to be more willing to take risks and to not live with regret. I am still really bad at it, but he is so inspiring to watchin this regard. Also, his pursuit of things he wants is amazing.

My grandma used to say, “do what you want to do while you can do it.” She inspired me to travel, to do physical activities, and feel more free.

My dad inspired to never feel limited by my gender.

My closest girlfriends in college inspired me to be a good friend. During a very difficult time in my life they showed me what good friends do. They were there for me in a way I had never known existed. They called, they stopped by and spent time with me, listened to me, made sure I wasn’t alone much.

Coloma's avatar

My inspirations have all been born from NOT wanting to be like certain family members, my ex husband and a couple of fraudulent friends over the years.
I hold myself to high standards of conduct, ethics, and while I am open minded, understanding and forgiving, if anyone exhibits dishonest or manipulative behaviors in our relationship they are given the swift boot.

I only expect from others what I expect from myself.

Life’s too short to waste your time with people that play games or are otherwise toxic.

wundayatta's avatar

My father provide something of an example of what not to do on an interpersonal level. I never wanted to parent without expressions of love and touch. My parents loved me, I believe, but they never told me so in a way I could understand, except theoretically.

On the other hand, they did inspire me. They never told me what they expected of me and they never told me I had done well. At least, not that I remember. I can not ever remember them being proud of me.

And so, for most of my life, I have been chasing an impossible goal: trying to get an expression of approval from my parents. Inspiring, huh? Yup. I thought I had to save the world. That was my job in life and anything short of that was utter failure. Somehow, someway, if I managed to save the world, I might get an expression of approval from my parents.

Eventually it became clear to even me that I could not attain that goal, and if I didn’t want to drive myself to suicide, I had to let go of both that goal and the idea of ever getting my parents approval. It’s not easy to let go of a goal you’ve lived with all your life, but knowing your life depends on it is strong motivation. Or is it inspiration?

I have always wanted to be the best, like most people. I think the trick to that is to choose an arena where you are the best. Be a big fish in a small pond. Resist the urge to see how you will do in a big pond. You can’t compete there, so you’ll always feel unhappy with yourself. Right now I’m a big fish in a small pond because there is only one person in my pond. It is the smallest of ponds, but people seem happy that my pond is here and they come to visit me and go away happy. It’s better than the alternative.

comity's avatar

@wundayatta We all deserve better from our parents. So sorry you didn’t have that. I’m new to Fluther and find you to be a very good writer, and an interesting analyzer, although I may not always agree ;) Is writing part of the work you do?

wundayatta's avatar

@comity Nope. I’m not a writer.

prioritymail's avatar

I just read an article about how a woman won a seat in elected office when she was 20, battled through cancer while working full-time and not telling most about it, and is now running obama’s re-election campaign. Superwoman? I think so.

comity's avatar

@prioritymail What is her name?

zensky's avatar

My children are my angels and I live for them. I constantly try to better their lives, and my own – for their sake. A happy daddy is a happy home – for them, as well.

Here, on fluther, I won’t single out anyone – but I constantly try to improve my writing – and control my temper – thanks to a few erudite and intellectual jellies whom I am priviledged to call fluther friends. They make me want to be a better larvae ;-).

With apologies to that nutbag HC.

gr8teful's avatar

My Sister she is beautiful, strong,intelligent and determined. She doesn’t have much money but she has raised a wonderful son, fostered two children, never taken drugs, drinks in moderation is funny and warm and wise and even when badly treated by her Boss and losing her job just before Christmas she drives 200 miles to a lowpaid job to keep her family afloat.My sister is amazing.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

My Grandfather: He inspired me to value relationships and to try hard to make things happen rather than wait for them to happen.

My husband: I’ve seen his goodness, seen him endure and overcome his difficulties and do more good things than past bad things. He inspires me to not be easily jaded or obsess difficulties.

My mother: I left home young enough to where I never got to witness her honed skills of reading people’s natures so I missed out on the benefit of her observations and advices for my life. Boy, did I miss out! Mom is a straight shooter and is able to see people as they are rather than how I usually do it, seeing people as the best I think they can be. Everyday now, I try to listen and learn through her.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

My granny taught by example. She was a sweet, caring woman who was quick to laugh, kept a spotless home and was always cooking something good. Well, I do keep a clean house and became a good cook. I’m still working on the personality part.

blueberry_kid's avatar

In all honesty, going to a much more higher scale school, and being around smater kids has really inspired me. My friends make me feel like I need to do better and not laze around all the time. My school sports friends always keep me going, and on my diet. My class friends are normally the ones who care in the class, so they inspire me to be the best.

But above all, my mom.My dad left the picture when I was two, and I havent seen him since I was 9, I’m 14. I was very depressed throughout those years. Since then, shes really helped me to literally go for my dreams. My dream one night was that I wanted to re-paint a Mona Lisa. That weekend; she bought me paints and canvases. Although it may seem silly, she really wants me to aspire for the highest and to never, ever give up. Even my courages friends.

laineybug's avatar

My parents. They’re very supportive of everything I do. My dad just bought me a really nice sewing machine because I’ve been wanting to get serious about my sewing. My mom is always there for me when she can be. My friends also inspire me. They try new things with me and always support me when I need them. They always cheer me up when I’m upset and calm me down when I’m angry.

comity's avatar

Now for the positive. I moved to this area late in life and met some wonderful women. They help me keep going, when the going gets tough. I’m the oldest of a group of five who go to the theater, lectures, and concerts together. We meet at my house and they have been doing the driving as I was having trouble with medical issues. They’re fun to converse with, outgoing, understanding and interesting. I love them all and feel very fortunate to call them ‘friends’. They inspire me to keep on keeping on!

Blondesjon's avatar


i wanted fucking presents

comity's avatar

@Blondesjon That all depends on you. Did Santa inspire you to be naughty or nice? ; )

cockswain's avatar

This is going to sound lame but true: a kung fu teacher, Brett Favre, Albert Einstein, Helen Keller, and my wife.

Helpr's avatar

My parents.

zensky's avatar

My grandfather and grandmother.

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