General Question

guesswho's avatar

If a room mate owes you money, is it your business how they spend their money?

Asked by guesswho (133points) May 16th, 2008 from iPhone

One of my room- mates bought a brinkmans smoker night before last and was smoking meat when I got off work last night. I googled the smoker and the smoker runs about 99$. It has been over a month since I asked for the money I am owed. My room-mate told my fiancĂ© the smoker cost 62$. Coincidentaly, that’s how much he owes me. I am angry with the situation, and I feel like he should have paid me back the money he owed me instead of a smoker.

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30 Answers

ezraglenn's avatar

First of all, what a ridiculous purchase, especially for someone who it sounds like is strapped for cash. Second of all, he should have paid you.

marinelife's avatar

It does seem a bit like rubbing it in your face. We can’t control the actions of others though. The fact that this person is having to borrow money would indicate he is not a wise spender.

Tell him how you feel. Try to keep it businesslike. A la: “It’s annoying to see you buying non-necessities when you still haven’t paid me back. When can I expect my money?”

Then don’t loan him money again.

guesswho's avatar

Indeed…. I will not loan him loan him money again, and I will try your advice. Thankyou

bulbatron9's avatar

Take the smoker back, and get your money!

When he says, “Where is my smoker?” tell him it got repoed!

marinelife's avatar

@bulbatron9 Probably can’t since it’s used, but I love the sentiment.

nikipedia's avatar

Did you make an agreement with him about repayment? His money is his business.

Are you sure he thinks he owes you $62? Sounds like he’s taunting you….

ezraglenn's avatar

Did he at least give you some of the meat he was smoking?

guesswho's avatar

yes, he knows he owes me 62$. That’s why I’m so upset. We did make an agreement. I didn’t make him sign a piece of paper, but we made a verbal agreement, I also had a witness at the time

guesswho's avatar

haha! Yes, 2 thick pieces of BBQ pork. He made the BBQ sauce fromscratch…. LOL

ezraglenn's avatar

well, at least you got summa that action.

marinelife's avatar

One could say thet he also smoked you as well as the meat.

scamp's avatar

I think you have every right to tell him you are annoyed that he bought the smoker before paying you back. Ask him when he plans to do so.

wildflower's avatar

If the agreement was for repayment asap, then he should pay you before going shopping. However, if the agreement was for a repayment deadline that has not yet been reached, how he spends his money now is his business.

guesswho's avatar

we had a deadline

Spargett's avatar

This sure seems like alot of trouble of $62 dollars. Just do something like making your rent check $62 less than it normally is. Then they’ll have to pay you back in one form or another.

breedmitch's avatar

Take the high ground. Yes, it sounds like he’s baiting you since the ammount is the same. At the same time it sounds like he’s somewhat embarrassed about owing and so you’re getting great food. One takes a risk when loaning and if you can’t live without the $62 you shouldn’t lend it.

…for loan oft loses both itself and friend.

cheebdragon's avatar

I hope he doesn’t think that he is technicaly paying you back by buying something that both of you could share (like a toaster or microwave)? It seems strange that he said it cost same amount he owes you, I’d ask where he bought it and verify it, if he’s lying tell him he needs to pay you by the end of the week, its not really that much money he owes you (I can’t leave nordstoms mac counter without spending less than $100) but this is something that could cause resentment in the future and resentment never ends well in roomate situations.

loser's avatar

let them know that you’re pissed off!

kevbo's avatar

There’s a great lesson from the movie “Mean Streets” where one guy is trying to collect $20 from a no good deadbeat. After a few unsuccesful attempts, the guy’s mentor explains that $20 could be seen as a cheap price to get the deadbeat out of the guy’s life.

Another tack is to just be a dick with the understanding that you aren’t a dick normally, but this person’s behavior is giving you no choice but to be a dick. I once loaned around $1,000 to a roommate with a loose plan for monthly payments and a year due date. She moved out and kind of disappeared on me for a few of the later months. Knowing that her mom (whom I didn’t know) was her Achilles heel, I wrote a very factual letter describing her daughter’s delinquency and other circumstances and asking the mom to pay me off. Naturally, my former roommate was furious, but I had the money within a few weeks.

Randy's avatar

Ah, another reason to add a tally mark under the “money is a great cause of evil and greed” collum.

gailcalled's avatar

I lent money to a friend on three separate occasions (being a slow learner). Finally, I sat down with him and used “I’ statements. “I will give you half but would like you to repay me the other half by next month.” We are still friends. I am out $300 bucks. So be it. My fault.

AtSeDaEsEpPoAoSnA's avatar

Leaving such a person with the responsiblitly to remember to pay you back a debt of 62$ might be trivial in comparison to other bills he may have, or he could just be a simple person that forgets when he is not reminded. People do not always have malicious intent in situations like this, but I still wouldn’t take a naive approach just in case.

babygalll's avatar

If he had the guts to ask to barrow the money from you. Then not pay you back in a decent amount of time. Now he has more guts to go purchase something. Get some guts yourself and ask him for your money back. The longer you wait the harder it will be.

People will kiss your feet when they want to barrow money, but you have to kiss their ass to get it back!

cheebdragon's avatar

Does having a roommate ever really end well? It seems like something almost always goes bad.

guesswho's avatar

I am lovin this feedback! Thankyou so much! I was actually going to just let it all slide until
he bought the smoker….

guesswho's avatar

oh well. I think I will just add it onto the rent. Besides, he still hasent fixed the wall his dog chewed up in our kitchen either.

ezraglenn's avatar

he sounds like a douche.

scamp's avatar

@guesswho Good luck! let us know how it turns out.

guesswho's avatar

I added the money onto his part of the utilities. He never even knew I got it. He still thinks he owed me money. He hasent used the smoker in about 3 weeks now. Now his dog is digging holes in the backyard. Does this ever end? I’m at the end of my rope, but oh well. I will put a shovel on his bed. Maybe he will get the point.

scamp's avatar

Very crafty! I’m glad you gpt your money back!

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