Social Question

jca's avatar

Can you help me understand why a 45 year old woman with 19 kids already, who has previously had two miscarriages, would want to continue getting pregnant?

Asked by jca (36043points) December 9th, 2011

I heard today on the news that the Duggar family’s mother just had a miscarriage. She is 45 and has had 19 children already. She apparently wants to get pregnant again. She already had two miscarriages (this one and one last year or two years ago).

I don’t watch this show so I don’t know anything about the family, other than the little that I have heard from the news, which is that they have all these kids. I do totally understand the desire for some people to have large families. I have one child and if I were younger and able to have more, I would be totally willing. However, I don’t understand why someone who already has 19 kids would want to get pregnant again.

Can you please help me understand? Am I missing something?

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52 Answers

erichw1504's avatar

They want to make it an even 20.

gailcalled's avatar

I would speculate that there is a psychopathology at work here.

rojo's avatar

Whoa, this is totally beyond my comprehensive abitlities. I cannot even concieve

rojo's avatar

of such a thing.

ucme's avatar

That lady will be buried in a Y shaped coffin for sure.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Who is supporting these kids? Her husband or us (taxpayers)?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Because she is a selfish dumbass. Sorry. She is.

wundayatta's avatar

The urge to merge.

fundevogel's avatar

Perhaps she’s trying for a kid with Downs I am a horrible person.

deni's avatar

SOMETHING IS WRONG IN HER HEAD. That family makes me sick. There is no use for that many children!!!!!! I think they just like attention and being obnoxious.

erichw1504's avatar

I’m waiting until their newest child comes out black.

zensky's avatar

They are avid basketball players. Five to a team. Do the math.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I have always been under the impression that this particular family doesn’t believe in the use of birth control, because of religious beliefs. I could be wrong. I don’t watch the show.

Jude's avatar

Because of their religion, apparently.

jrpowell's avatar

She needs another kid so her 15th child has someone to take care of. I wish I was joking but that is how that family rolls. Once she shoots them out the other kids take care of them.

And this helps.

deni's avatar

@johnpowell Some of the comments on that are hilarious.

zensky's avatar

@deni ROFL.

* Eww, thats gross to pop out that many kids, and its so bad for the environment. Unless there were a population shortage, this is just inappropriate. That one family must produce more environmental waste than 5 regular families.

* When child #19 drops out of your uterus only half-baked because your body can no longer handle carrying to full term, THAT IS GOD SAYING ENOUGH!!!

* Let’s all pitch in and buy them a Wii. Or some lawn darts. Or Dish Network. Anything to keep Jim Bob from dropping in a quarter and taking one more ride on Michelle’s Va-jay-jay Go Round.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

LMAO. Seriously, I am!

Judi's avatar

religious conviction

bkcunningham's avatar

Aw, come on. Don’t hate on the Duggers. I love them. It isn’t of our business what they do or how many children they have. They are hurting anyone and they support themselves.

marinelife's avatar

It is her choice. Perhaps she will get medical advice advising against any more pregnancies.

YARNLADY's avatar

I believe there are people who just let nature take it’s course, and they don’t use any artificial means to prevent becoming pregnant. She is probably like that.

bkcunningham's avatar

That is how they roll @YARNLADY.

Mariah's avatar

She thinks using birth control would be interfering with God’s plan.

I think she’s nuts, but…meh.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Her first miscarriage was during her second pregnancy. At that time, she was on birth control pills. That is when she and her husband decided they would leave it up to God to decide how many children they had.

As a mother who has enjoyed being pregnant, I can understand the desire to be pregnant again. It really is an experience like no other (in my opinion). I only have two children though, so I can’t say how I would feel after numerous pregnancies.

Sunny2's avatar

Some women believe that their only purpose on earth is to reproduce. She may feel fulfilled only when she is pregnant. I don’t understand a lot of human motivation and this is just an example.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Now there’s a guy making the most of his prostate.

I just hope they are the ones supporting those kids. I don’t want to.
does anyone know what he does for a living? We know what she does.

nikipedia's avatar

@LuckyGuy, according to wikipedia:

Jim Bob served in the Arkansas House of Representatives from 1999 to 2002. Currently, he is a real estate agent and investor. The Duggars’ income is derived from the rental proceeds of the commercial properties they own.[12][13] They live debt-free,[14][15] which Jim Bob has said is “the fruit of Jim Sammons’ Financial Freedom Seminar” he attended years ago (Sammons’ Seminar is endorsed by IBLP). The construction of their 7,000 square foot (650 square meter) house was started by the family in 2000 when they bought the land and ordered the frame. Discovery Networks completed it, by finding local Arkansas construction workers to donate their skills and time. The home was completed on January 20, 2006. The painting, decorating, furnishings, appliances, and other finishing touches—such as a stocked pantry—were provided by Discovery Networks and corporate sponsors as part of the one-hour television special[13] entitled 16 Children and Moving In.

btw, I like the name change!

SavoirFaire's avatar

It’s worth noting that there is a difference between “living debt-free” and “supporting themselves.” The Duggar’s live debt-free; they do not support themselves. They live largely off of donations and tax loopholes. So while they go around pretending that anyone could do what they do, it simply isn’t true.

Linda_Owl's avatar

I really can’t say why anyone would want to have 19 or more children. To have this many children means that these children are being raised in an ‘assembly line’ life style, because there is NO way that the parents could find time to spend any time with each child. Chances are, the older children are doing a lot of the ‘raising’ of the younger children (and I know where-of I speak because I was the oldest out of 6 kids & I did just about as much raising of my siblings as my Mother did). There has to be something pathologically wrong with parents who chose to have this many children, especially in a world already dealing with an over-abundance of population.

JLeslie's avatar

Did you actually hear her say she wants 20? I saw her on TV before she became pregnant with this last one that would have been 20, and when she was asked if she wants more, she said basically she just takes whatever is given to her. She did not seem dead set on 20 at all, just willing to be pregnant again if that was what happened. She said in the same interview that she realizes she is getting older and soon she probably won’t be able to have anymore children. Now, I realize it is possible that after a loss it might have triggered feelings of wanting to have one more.

geeky_mama's avatar

My sister married a man who has 11 siblings. Every last one of those (now grown) kids would tell you the draw backs of being part of a family with 12 kids. The drawbacks are numerous even with loving, patient, good parents. (His were very good parents—but still, I’d say all 12 kids have “deals” from their childhood.) Only the oldest few kids even chose to have children..several of his siblings have said: “No way – I’m never sharing my space with that many people ever again.” and have intentionally not married, or married people who agreed to never have children.

I also have friends who have 7 kids – and they needed 2 washing machines, 2 dryers and a 12 passenger van just to accommodate everyone.
It’s a just unavoidable if you come from a large family that you’re drafted into helping with the younger kids and the chores around the house because it becomes TOO MUCH for one human to handle to run a family that size.
Not everyone would willingly sign up for that, y’know? And if you’re born into that and you know nothing else…sure..but I have no doubt that years from now we’ll have tell-all books from grown up Duggar kids who felt exploited or didn’t care for their childhood. Religious convictions aside…it can be tough to never feel like you have privacy or a quiet place or an identity on your own.

bkcunningham's avatar

What tax loopholes and donations, @SavoirFaire? I’m curious how you know that.

SavoirFaire's avatar

@bkcunningham See here and here for some information about the donations they’ve received. Their house, for instance, was built by volunteers found by Discovery and was furnished by corporate sponsors of their original television special. They also take huge advantage of the child tax credit and pay no property taxes thanks to getting their basement classified as a church.

Supacase's avatar

AFAIK religion does not have a problem with abstinence as a form of birth control. He needs to keep it in his pants and she needs to keep her legs closed if she can.

fundevogel's avatar

You’d think he could at least pull out early. I mean, it’s been a few millenia since God’s smote anyone for that.

zensky's avatar

@Supacase The old aspirin technique.

OpryLeigh's avatar

Are they religious? If so then maybe her belief is that it is God’s will and she shouldn’t interfere with it. That doesn’t explain why she would want to get pregnant again though.

bkcunningham's avatar

@SavoirFaire, I didn’t see anything in either of your links about using their home basement classified as a church so they don’t have to pay taxes. From the news article, “TLC television sponsors are donating food for the pantry and appliances, such as washers and dryers” for the home they built. Thank you for looking though.

Keep_on_running's avatar

In this day and age why isn’t there a law against this? I hate to draw a comparison, but this just brings “puppy mill” to mind. I don’t even know if I’m joking or being serious anymore…

SavoirFaire's avatar

@bkcunningham The sources were explicitly mentioned as being for the claims about living off of donations, including the very house in which they live. The basement church is mentioned in the news article, but not the fact that they don’t pay property taxes because of it. I should mention, however, that they do pay property taxes on the commercial properties that they own. Just not on their home. The issue has been confused by many people wishing to criticize them by suggesting that they do not pay any property taxes at all.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I think if your religion dictates that you shouldn’t protect yourself against being pregnant for most of your married life, that you should step back and take a look at your religion and the harm it’s causing. Just sayin’...

bkcunningham's avatar

I have read and reread the newspaper article and the Wiki link, @SavoirFaire. There is no mention of a basement church that I see. What paragraph? I can’t find it anywhere. Nor is there any reference to the family living off donations that I can find. I quoted the donations made by sponsors of TLC. That’s the only reference I see to anything about donations except where friends and other home school and church groups have volunteered to help the Duggers.

I actually watched the show and I don’t think their house even has a basement. The news article mentions, “They are members of a home church that numbers about 100. And there almost seems to have evolved an unofficial, loose-knit network of large families that home-school their children and attend in-home churches. Some even have volunteered time to help the Duggars complete their home by mid-January.”

SavoirFaire's avatar

@bkcunningham You quoted the passage to which I was referring in your own post. Like I said, it’s only mentioned in passing. That, by the way, is why you never see their home’s basement on the show. As for the donations, if an explicit mention of the fact that their home and its furnishings being donated doesn’t convince you that donations are central to the supposed prosperity that the Duggars claim (as they point to their giant house and say “we own all this and are debt-free”), I don’t know what more you could want. I could live debt-free, too, if someone would give me a house and furnishings.

Aster's avatar

They support them with their book sales and their storage facilities.
They believe that they should have as many “blessings as God will allow us to have.”
They feel birth control is unnatural and that overpopulation is a myth. I’m not surprised this happened to her; I wish they’d quit for her health’s sake. She is such a wonderful, quiet, God fearing woman who loves her children and husband with all of her heart. They just welcomed their second grandchild into the world. it’s parents have a used car lot.

bkcunningham's avatar

I didn’t know they had two grandchildren, @Aster.I agree with your evaluation of her character. I wish she’d just go into menopause.

Aster's avatar

LOL !! ME TOO ! Really; she’d be so much safer.

OpryLeigh's avatar

This programme sounds fascinating, I really wish they’d show it in the UK.

fundevogel's avatar

@Leanne1986 I’ve never watched it myself, though I’ve heard of it. It always seemed that watching it must be similar to watching a trainwreck unfold in slow motion while the engineer and passengers hang out their windows smiling and waving.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@fundevogel That’s a great analogy!

AshlynM's avatar

I would never understand why on earth one would want so many children. 2 is plenty. But if you have the financial means to support such a big family, more power to you.

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