Social Question

Luiveton's avatar

How do you approach people you don't know?

Asked by Luiveton (4162points) December 12th, 2011

This is probably very lame, but I was basically sitting doing nothing. So I decided I wanted to ask you flutherites something as lame as my life.
How do you usually approach people you don’t know but want to talk to? Someone suggested since people have to take showers everyday, they’d knock on their door and ask to share the shower since theirs isn’t working. .
I just usually stare at the person. I don’t think it gives the desired effect though, I probably come off as a creepy lady. Plus I always tend to make bad impressions. I shoved a whole brownie in my mouth at the same time the person was passing by. Not smart.
What about you? Does it usually work for you or do you end up looking like the idiot I am?

And another time the guy kicked a ball, it was going to fall on my head so I screamed like fudge. Yes, a history of bad impressions.

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19 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

That is the most wacked question I have ever seen. But I’m interested now. What’s up?

Luiveton's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I know right. I honestly have nothing better to do with my life at the moment so I want to see who else is a complete idiot like me. /:

Ayesha's avatar

Okay, I have to disagree. Those aren’t bad impressions. That’s you, being you. If someone can do that, then I think they’re perfectly all right.

gailcalled's avatar

Firstly, stop describing any questions or concerns you have about personal relations and life as “lame.” Never feel you need to be self-deprecating in order to grow and flourish.

Calling yourself an “idiot” may be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Extend the same courtesy to yourself as you do to others. If you are in public, mind your manners. If you know that something you do, like staring, is making someone else uncomfortable, stop doing it.

Chatting with strangers is problematic; if you feel safe, start off with usual banalities in order to break the ice.

“Do you think it will snow today?”

“Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?”

“Read any good books recently”?

“How about them Mets?”

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Luiveton What does a fudge scream sound like?

Luiveton's avatar

@Ayesha True, true.
@gailcalled Sorry.
@Adirondackwannabe Well, I usually like saying fudge instead of fuck, but a ‘fudge scream’ sounds nice now that I think of it.

gailcalled's avatar

@Luiveton: Case in point; you have done nothing to me that you need to apologize for.

El_Cadejo's avatar

I wonder about this sometimes too. Its not that I’m particularly socially awkward or anything, I just feel small talk i just so pointless that I rarely engage in it. So then I end up never getting to legitimate conversations with these people lol.

marinelife's avatar

You just treat them as if you know them. Walk up, say hello, and ask them a question (nothing too personal).

Luiveton's avatar

@gailcalled Oops. But technically speaking the guy isn’t really a stranger. I just don’t know him personally. I just have no idea how to go and start a conversation without looking crazy.
@uberbatman Yeah and I worry too much.
@marinelife Yeah. One day, hopefully.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I make casual eye contact, maybe a smile and say hello or hi.

CWOTUS's avatar

I did that Saturday morning, as a matter of fact, with a self-introduction and later a cup of coffee and doughnuts. (I had driven my uncle to a horse barn to visit with his friends, the owners, but they were busy, so I chatted with a man who had driven his partner / friend to her lesson, and was waiting for her to finish.) My uncle told me later that the way the conversation developed, he had assumed we were already well acquainted, though we had never met before.

Good things can happen when you just say, “Hi, I’m CWOTUS.” (Your name may vary. Mine does, too.)

SavoirFaire's avatar

Smile. Be confident. And if you aren’t confident, fake it until you make it.

gailcalled's avatar

If I stand up straight and smile, people ask me whether I have lost weight, gotten a new haircut or become younger.

Pandora's avatar

Hi!. Isn’t it a beautiful day or have you heard if its suppose to stop raining today, followed by a make believe errand I have to make and how the rain will make it difficult. Most people may respond with, yes it is, or as for the rain, they may say, tell me about it, I have a few things I have to do, also but I heard its suppose to clear up.
If they are interested they will carry on the conversation usually.
At a certain point you can reach out to shake there hand and mention your first name.

gailcalled's avatar

Or a mild, unthreatening complimemt.

“Nice hair-cut. Who’s your stylist?”

“I love your shoes (scarf, belt, jeans, top, earrings, tattoo, piercings…)”

Paradox25's avatar

It is always easier when you have a reason to talk to someone like at work, school, etc, especially if the reasons are related to something other than just making a blind approach itself. It is much easier to branch out a conversation from the circumstances I’ve just mentioned.

There is one thing that I’ve learned throughout my 30+ years alive from multiple experieces; you can only be truely happy when you can be your true self. Conforming to be accepted will never bring internal happiness and if you’re not happy with yourself than you will never be happy with others.

I’ve also come to realize that some individuals just connect with certain types of people over others so don’t beat yourself up even if others don’t accept you. People that are worth your effort will make an equal effort back, if not than you’ve lost nothing.

Coloma's avatar

I simply approach people, be myself, chat them up, offer some humor, banter.
I don’t have a shy bone in my body, and make friends easily.
Over the weekend I was waiting on a takeout dinner after Christmas shopping and was the only other customer outside of the lounge in the dining area with a couple, who, were obviously on a first date.
They were about my age and I couldn’t help but overhear the usual first date questions as they talked over wine and pizza.

I was having a Corona waiting and struck up a but of conversation with them, opening with ” This must be your first date ” and they laughing and asking me how I knew that.
Easy, I said, who asks someone they already know about their education and background. LOL
Next thing you know I was “entertaining” them with some levity and they were cracking up, I am very good with comedic ad lib and they were perfect reflectors and bounced right into the fun.
On my way out I ordered them both another glass of wine on the sly, and smiled all the way to my car.

Remember, strangers are only friends whom you haven’t met yet!

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