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mazingerz88's avatar

If you are Kim Jong Un, what would you do next?

Asked by mazingerz88 (27710points) December 22nd, 2011

You are 22 years old and just inherited your deceased father Kim Jong Il’s position as North Korean dictator, what would you do with all that power? Are you going to feel safe knowing the military might not have total confidence in you? Would you open up North Korea to the world, dismantling communism?

In case you don’t want to put yourself in his place, what do you think this young man would do?

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27 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Frankly, I’m a little frightened to consider what is next for North Korea.

CWOTUS's avatar

“I’m going to Disney World!”

Sunny2's avatar

Lose some weight.
Seriously, with the role model he had, I don’t think he’ll do anything different than his father did.
He’s inscrutable to me.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Disneyland is closer !

erichw1504's avatar

Create a Twitter account.

zenvelo's avatar

Disney Japan is closest.

He’s in a very tenuous position; if I were him I’d be shitting in my pants. On top of that he has to deal with his aunt who is apparently a mean drunk.

ucme's avatar


marinelife's avatar

Consolidate my control of the military. then show the world how different I am from my father.

erichw1504's avatar

Surf the internet on “how to be a dictator”.

CWOTUS's avatar

Open a Fluther account and read this thread. (Opening the account is only necessary if he needs to clarify any of the answers or ask his own questions.)

I guess I would also update my Facebook status:

Kim Jong Un
... is the new dictator of the People’s Republic of Korea! w00t!

erichw1504's avatar

Ask “how to be a dictator” on Fluther.

tedd's avatar

Start using the stairs a bit more.

Seriously, is there a chubby look/weight minimum to be in charge of North Korea?

elbanditoroso's avatar

Learning English would be a fine idea.

ragingloli's avatar

Rename myself to Kim Jong Il II

judochop's avatar

Nothing like putting a child in charge of one of the potentially most dangerous countries in the world.
How the hell does it come to this? Why do humans sit back and let shit like this happen? It’s not like the guys guarding him are secretly high fiving that this asshole is now in charge. No man in his right mind that has been forced in to oppression can possibly feel good about what is about to happen. If you ask me they are bunch of cowards. The first thing someone should do who is close enough is….well you know? Please Big Brother do not arrest me for thought crimes wait!? how the fuck does that happen?
I will play along though…
SOOooooooo I am Kim Jong Un, here is my check list (assuming I am evil).
1. Make my followers say my name and follow it with a dun dun dunt dunnnn song. So my name would be Kim Jong Un Dun Dun Dunt Dunnnn.
2. Commission H.R. Gieger to build and decorate my evil lair.
3. Pipe 2 second smidgens of American top 40 music to the people as a ‘gift.’
4. I would add another day of the week. Unday would follow Sunday and be the official day of rest for me. All others will work without pay however they will be allowed a free meal.
5. I would add freshwater sharks to all the rivers in N. Korea.
6. Build a mote and fill it with acid.
7. I would have all the farmers plant crops in the form of middle fingers so that any satellite images caught over my awesome jail cell of a country would send a clear message as to how I feel about freedom.
8. Collect a stable of fine ladies.
9. I would also wear one of those shirts with the speaker built in to it with an uploadable MP3 so that when I get mad I can play the Jaws theme song.
10. Make all the guards wear motorcycle jackets and carry sawed off shotguns.

Oh, the life of an evil dictator.

mazingerz88's avatar

@judochop HR Giger is a perfect choice there. Maybe he could even get millions of N. Koreans all dance to Thriller at the same time. Amazing to see all those brainwashed locals wailing over their “dear leader’s” death. Sad.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@CWOTUS & @Tropical_Willie Disney is a bad idea. Un’s older brother lost his chance to rule over Disneyland lol.

“From roughly 1998 to 2001, he was widely considered to be the heir-apparent to his father and the next leader of North Korea. Following a much-publicized botched attempt to secretly enter Japan using a fake passport and visit Disneyland in May 2001, he was thought to have fallen out of favor with his father.[1] Kim Jong-nam’s younger half-brother Kim Jong-un was named heir apparent in September 2010. ”

It makes me lol everytime I read it.

Blackberry's avatar

Read every piece of liberal propaganda I can get my hands on. Starting with the Communist Manifesto. Hopefully I would become a bit more rational.

DominicX's avatar

I would not open up North Korea because I’d be so brainwashed by years of the same regime that all I’m going to do is continue it. People will starve, the economy will continue to crumble, and we will continue to scare the rest of the world by showing off our weapons. Nothing will change.

El_Cadejo's avatar

“I would not open up North Korea because I’d be so brainwashed by years of the same regime that all I’m going to do is continue it.”
Possibly but he did attend an English speaking school in Switzerland for a good part of his life so its possible that influenced him.

Blondesjon's avatar

Two chicks at once, man.

mazingerz88's avatar

@Blondesjon I heard he could have fifty on standby. : )

rebbel's avatar

Change my name to Kim Motherfuckin’ Jong Un.

HungryGuy's avatar

I pass a law saying that I get to pick one female each year from the general population to be put in my harem of sex slaves.

Beyond that, I ease up on the totalitarian regime thing and let people come and go and do whatever they want except, you know, kill and steal and whatnot…

Or maybe I’d lob a nuke at South Korea just for kicks.

mattbrowne's avatar

Do what Gorbachev did when he came to power.

CWOTUS's avatar

GA, @mattbrowne, but I think that depends on whether you want “to rule” or “to improve the country”. I’ll give Gorbachev the benefit of any doubt on that: I believe he was a true Russian patriot who wanted the country to improve more than he wanted to rule.

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