What causes alcoholics to drink alcohol to a fault, and be cantankerous in the first place?

While I can’t answer what causes people to drink too much (since I don’t really know), I think what alcohol does is amplify the personality you’ve already got. If you’re a generally happy, kind person… you’ll be a happy, kind drunk, too, just more-so (think: I LOVE YOU, MAN!). If you’re a generally angry, cranky person, likewise. Sad people tend to get weepy when drunk. I’ve known several alcoholics in my life, and most of them were either of the happy or sad variety, rather than the angry ones, thank goodness.

Like any addiction, there’s no blanket answer as to why people drink. There’s plenty of sober men and women with the character traits you mention in your description. I’d imagine when a person is trying to bury themselves in their addiction, there’s a myriad of uncomfortable feelings, emotions, etc at play.
There’s no way to get rid of this “chip” without the person addressing the issues at the root of their anger, fear, sadness, what have you.

FUCK YOU! hiccup

I happen to be a sober alcoholic. I quit drinking 12 years ago.

I don’t believe the answer you’re looking for has been found yet. Science has not been able to pin down any one particular reason the disease arises in some people and not in others. Some people can take or leave the stuff, and others can’t stop at a normal amount once they’ve started.

Willpower seems to have very little to do with it. Alcoholics can often be quite strong in other areas of life than their drinking, but that one piece is often horrifyingly out of control.

As to the type of emotions expressed during drunk times, that is also a mystery. I was generally a quiet drinker, but then I drank at home alone. It was just me and the bottle. I don’t know why some alcoholics are violent and others are funny.

It has been my experience that most alcoholics are very sensitive people at the core. All these emotions are so hard to handle that they drink to avoid dealing with them. They of course, are still there, and come out inappropriately if they are not processed and dealt with in a healthy way.

These 2 links helped me understand this problem a little better…

http://www.joanmathewslarson.com/HRC_2006/CorrectingChemistry.htm#hypoglycemia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekDFv7TTZ4I&feature=youtu.be

There is a genetic pre-disposition to alcoholism. There are other factors as well. When the person is fully in alcohol mode, it replaces all of the other things in their life, family, love relationships, friendships, hobbies, it is all taken over with alcohol.

My brother who is an alcoholic is the kindest and most sensitive of men. Until he gets into the booze. then he becomes foul-mouthed and crude and quick to anger. I think the world is too much for him without the protection of alcohol.

Although he is sober right now.

Practicing, non-repentant imbiber here. The simple truth is that I, personally, drink to excess because I like the feeling of being drunk. This is not the spinning, out of control, blacked out drunk that less seasoned drinkers experience. This is a drunk that I have spent the last 25 years honing to a near art form. It’s a happy, moderately loud, prone to goofy off the wall rants kind of drunk.

I would also like to point out that I am not an alcoholic. Alcoholism is not defined by the amount you drink nor is it about frequency. It is about the consequences you suffer from your drinking. The only consequence I suffer from after a good bout is a sour belly now and then.

I know that this has become a world of stark, black and white absolutes but there really are some folks that can drink a lot and not be alcoholics.

As some have said above, there is not one answer for all. Most alcoholics I know are insecure with very low self esteem. But, I think some people get addicted and have good self esteem, but maybe have genetics working agaist them. Certainly some families drink regularly, and so that seems very normal to people who grow up that way, they see it as being part of being an adult. I think kids try it because of peer pressure and curiosity, and wanting to be grown up. Then, unfortunately, some people seem to have a genetic propensity to be alcoholics. Supposedly some people have their brain set up so that alcohol gives them a different feeling than others, and they want to drink more and more.

People can be psychologically addicted, or physiologically, or both. Once physically addicted you need alcohol just to fell normal. There are surgeons out there who take a drink to make sure they will be steady during surgery!

Alcoholism is complicated and a little different for each person. There are many forms from functioning alcoholics who drink daily, to those who drink to oblivion every time they drink and it might not be daily.

When I was a practicing alcoholic, I sought out friends like @Blondesjon to hang out with, so no one really got how much I was drinking. I was a quiet drunk, not cantankerous, more lachrymose than cheery.

But a characteristic of many alcoholics is an inability to address resentments, which makes them difficult to deal with. Alcoholics stop developing emotionally when they start to drink actively, so if someone starts drinking at age 13, and gets sober at 30, at the age of 35 they have the emotional understanding of an 18 yr old. A significant part of getting sober is dealing with one’s emotions and feelings now that one is not medicating one’s self. If we don’t deal with our emotions, we run the risk of drinking again.

There are two basic approaches to your Q and the whole subject of alcohol and addiction in general is complex.

But alcohol is a disinhibitor so that’s why those who can normally keep their anger at socially appropriate levels, kind of explode when drunk. It’s kind of like a car going along without brakes.

What the anger is about varies from one person to another but the only real solution is honest self evaluation which can be helped greatly by regular time with a competent therapist.

But addicts and alcoholics are not exactly very good at self honesty and dealing with reality or they wouldn’t need the escape which alcohol provides.

That’s basically what all addiction is about (whether it’s alcohol or something else) it’s the substitution of an alternate reality for the one that the person can’t or won’t deal with.

That’s also the difference between people who become addicted to narcotic painkillers and those whose bodies develop a physical tolerance but can eventually discontinue using them at all.

Some people take them to deal ONLY with the physical pain for which they were prescribed. Once their physical pain dissipates (through time or effective treatment or surgery) they have no problem weaning off the pills. As a matter of fact, they want to as soon as possible because they don’t like the mental side effects of these drugs.

The addict, on the other hand, is using the painkillers more for the OTHER pains in their life (emotional, mental) and keep wanting to increase the amounts to get the same effect.

That’s also why some people can drink fairly regularly but not become alcoholics. They don’t allow it to interfere with the important things in their lives like job duties, safety, and personal relationships. It’s not at the top of their priority list the way it is for alcoholics.

So basically, alcoholism and addiction are all about poor coping mechanisms for handling life’s challenges. The drug or booze becomes their crutch to get them through emotionally and becomes the most important thing in their lives and they can’t function without it. Thus they lead very crippled lives and it effects all of those close to them. Friends and family and responsibility start to slide down the priority list.

And with angry drunks, people around them get past the toleration point for it more quickly. So sometimes they wake up to the fact that they’re alienating everyone and decide to make changes. Others just continue to lead sad angry and isolated lives.

About the only choices for those who care about them boil down to cutting them out of your life or getting others together for an intervention to get them into treatment. That’s about it since adults are free agents and you cant live someone elses life for them.

I would like to again point out that not all heavy drinkers are alcoholics. Alcoholism is about consequences not the amount you consume. I didn’t make this definition up, the folks at AA/NA and damn near any 12 step treatment center you can go to did.

Again, to be clear, it is the repetition of a behavior that causes yourself and others grief that defines an alcoholic/drug addict not the amount of usage.

@Blondesjon So if you don’t drink for 6 months no big deal? You don’t care?

Yep.

The only vice I’ve ever had trouble putting down was nicotine. It was a real bitch and even after nearly 5 years without a cig it still can be. Alcohol is a take it or leave it kind of deal. If there was a booze rapture tomorrow and it all disappeared I would suffer no ill effects.

Nancy Reagen and the whole just say no/war on drugs movement in the 80’s has really done a number on people’s perception of recreational substances.

except for cigarettes. they are fucking evil (and delicious if i remember correctly)

@Blondesjon I don’t think Nancy Reagan affects my view. What I have observed is those who drink regularly tend to be in a bad mood when they don’t get to. Not horribly angry, but the alcohol, or lack of, affects their mood to some extent. I am not saying they go through DT’s when they don’t get their fix or anything.

As someone who does not drink, I find it annoying when people are very dissappointed there is nothing to drink with their dinner or at a party. The focus on alcohol is annoying. I don’t mind at all people who like to drink every so often, but daily, or every time they go out, I don’t know if I necessarily say they are alcoholics, I am not qualified to say so, but the importance they place on alcohol seems over the top. The expense of alcohol also is incredible. I guess not so much at home, but at a restaurant my husband and I can’t get over how much it adds to the bill. But, I don’t buy theatre popcorn or candy either for the same reason.

Not enough lurve most likely.

The way I understand it, alcoholism is a genetic disease. Some people and even some races seem to have a genetic defect that makes the react badly to alcohol and become addicted. My family certainly has its share of alcoholics but none of them react in exactly the same way. Some are happy drunks, others morose. A few become abusive when they drink. Fortunately, since there is a high rate of alcoholism in my family, my relatives seem to be able to control the abusive ones. I have only had one relative that actually hit his wife but that didn’t last long and he found himself ostracized from the family.

I expect everybody’s experiences are different. My brothers and I rarely drink and when we do we stop at two or three drinks and need s designated driver. Our father could hold his own and rarely got really drunk.

I agree with @zenvelo 100%

I was married to heavy drinker ( alcoholic? ) for 21 years. He absolutely did not mature emotionally, and I believe that it is true that at whatever age one starts to drink heavily on a regular basis is the age they are developmentally arrested at. My ex began drinking at about 14–15 and yes, I’d say that is the emotional age he was frozen at.

He was functional in that he kept a good job, but, on a maturation level he was a pissy little boy.

Anyone that drinks multiple drinks on a daily basis has issues as far as I am concerned.

@Coloma . . . Just because you made a poor life decision doesn’t make every single person that drinks like your husband.

Plus, if you’re going to say that alcohol arrests maturation then you need to include drugs in that statement. Marijuana brownies sound cute but they alter a personality every bit as effectively as booze, cocaine, or heroin.

@Blondesjon

Somehow I knew you’d toss that in, well..big dif. between the very occasional happy brownie moment kicking around my little mountain retreat and daily use of any substance.

My “pattern” of both alcohol and a return to happy brownies after 20 years of not imbibing is about a once every 2–3 month “event” not a daily “need.”

Hey, your drinking is your biz. but, sorry, anybody that feels a need to be drunk or high every day needs to look at the underlying issues.

There is a huge difference between the occasional moment and a lifestyle choice, and yes, I learned a LOT about the nature of alcoholism being married to one for years.

My brain and body has not been subject to years and years of substance abuse, it’s in good shape, let me assure you. ;-)

@Coloma . . . I take more of an affront that you base your opinion of anyone who drinks a lot on the actions of one man.

As far as the every 2–3 months thing? Well, I think if you went back through the dates on your posts you would find it’s, according to you, a little more often than that. I’m not begrudging you these things. I like marijuana a great deal too.

What I don’t like is folks labeling hundreds of thousands, hell millions, of people they don’t know because they knew one or two that couldn’t handle their shit. I don’t even mean just in the case of substance abuse. I know plenty of folks who were cheated on in a relationship and now believe that everybody is a no good cheater. I’m sorry that you wasted nearly a quarter century of your life married to someone that skewed your view in such a way but that was your choice. Quit taking it out on, and labeling, the rest of us.

@Blondesjon

You’re really inventing an epic novel here over my sharings.
I don’t consider my learning experiences to be “wasted”, I have no regrets, only knowledge which continues to serve me.

I joke a lot about happy brownies, but, my use is very conservative and compared to daily alcohol abuse, an apples and oranges disparity.

Marijuana can be just as abused as anything, no disagreement here.

All I am saying is IF somebody HAS to drink, or do anything, on a daily basis to feel good, ” normal”, it is something that should be looked at more closely.

Really happy and content people that are comfortable with themselves don’t need to alter their reality on a daily basis. Bottom line.

I enjoy my little weekend “mini-vacations”, but, prefer to be clear headed and sober on an 90 -1 basis.

If somebody can’t get through an evening, make love to their wife stone cold sober, rejects invitations to events where there is no alcohol based on that, or…choosing to not drink causes them discomfort..well….I’m sorry, but….don’t kill the messenger. I’m not judging YOU, I am judging the facts or what is considered to be problematic alcohol dependency.

One doesn’t have to be a bum in the gutter or have multiple DUI’s or a toxic liver to be considered a problem drinker.

Part of the denial of alcoholism is the denial that ones drinking is somehow not as bad as anothers. The ” Oh, I don’t need intervention I’m not like THEM!”

Hey…again, your drinking is your business, but, I have come far too far in my life experiences to not know some fundamental truths about the disease.

Alcoholism is a complex disease. I know people who drink regularly but I would not classify them as alcoholic because they can and do take breaks from their drinking. They don’t have to drink. I have known people who have died because of their addiction to alcohol. I know others who have chosen partners because they both enable each other’s drinking habits.

My sister was an alcoholic and her drinking indirectly killed her. While she could argue she drank to avoid dealing with her past problems, eventually it was just addiction. She had plenty of opportunities to get help and counselling about her early troubles, she didn’t. She kept drinking. I think in the end it was just too hard to give up. Her immune system was very compromised. She was having seizures and really wasn’t well. Her death was not directly connected to her drinking but her drinking had damaged her immune system.

I think there are different levels and types of alcoholism. There are those who can have a few drinks and function very well (or appear to function well). There are those who have a couple of drinks and are slurring their words and are not coping very well (even if they think they are). Who knows what damage the consistent drinking is causing to their body in both cases? I also wonder if those who drink all the time, even at moderate levels will develop problems later in their life. My sister could drink me under the table and still be very clear thinking and be functioning just fine when she was younger. As she got older though, it didn’t seem to take much for the effect of the alcohol to show. Perhaps the effect is a cumulative thing.

I agree with @Augustlan theory that alcohol amplifies the person’s real personality. At least in the early days. In the long term though and especially with excessive use of alcohol, I think alcohol can change people’s personality and that funny person can just look sad. Often they are the last person to realise how sad they seem to others.