Grandparents: Do you buy things for your grandchildren only for your own home?

I’ve never heard of anyone I know doing that. Does you MIL have other grandkids than yours? Could it be this is her way of feeling closer to them, like they are more hers? Does she think she’s a better parent than you and your husband? I ask it that way because that kind of dynamic I’m personally familiar with, just not the item restrictions.

@Neizvestnaya she has another grandchild, but she is an infant. I don’t think she thinks she’s a better parent, but she might. In other words, she doesn’t attempt to coach us to death on how we should be raising the kids.

That’s a bit weird.

I have toys in the toy box at my house, but the grand kids know that they are Gigi’s toys. If I give them a gift, they take them home. What is a gift if it has strings?

My mother had a box of toys she kept in a closet that was full of toys that were to stay at her house. Most of the toys were hand me downs from when I and my siblings were little, but she would buy new items at times, especially crayons and coloring books. She did this so her grandchildren would have toys to play with when they came over. If she let the kids take the items home, they would often get broken or lost and then there would be nothing left at grandma’s to play with. The kids would also lose interest in the items if they are allowed to take them home.

She never did this with clothes, only toys and crafts.

Edit: (oops, sorry. She never gave gifts that had to stay, but she did have the box of toys that had to stay. Any gifts given were theirs to keep and take home)

@ANef_is_Enuf: Have your kids filled a void for her, did they kind of wake up her world when they came along? Is your MIL lonely and having her home set up, always ready for the kids feels good for her?

I have heard of someone doing this, but only once. I can absolutely understand having some toys at her house for the children to play with when they are there, but not all gifts having to stay at her house.

@Neizvestnaya I’m not sure. I mean, she loves them, clearly… they are her grandbabies, but I don’t know that it was anything different from what other grandparents are like. I guess it’s hard for me to really answer that.

It isn’t really that it is a big deal, I just don’t really understand it. Like I said, my grandparents always had toys at the house that stayed there. They bought us gifts, and we took them home and brought whatever we wanted to play with for sleepovers. My parents also have things that they keep at the house for all of the kids, and gifts go home, and the kids bring toys if they want something special to play with when they visit grandparents.

Just seems odd to me.

Most of the things we buy for our grandkids stay here. This is often by request of their parents, the noisy toys for instance, or because there isn’t room in their house. For some things, I buy two, one for my house and one for their house.

Anything they bring over here from their house always goes back with them. Most of the things that go from my house to their house are never seen again, including their clothes. They usually come over with no clothes on at all, and I have spent a fortune dressing them, only to have most of their clothes disappear.

@YARNLADY well that makes sense to me.

My grandfather used to buy a lot of stationary for me whenever I visited him. It used to be a 2–3 day stay so I would take my books along and he’d help me with Geography. He would then keep the pack of stationary waiting for me till the next time I visited.
Not quite under the ‘toys’ category but somewhat similar.

Both sets of my grandparents used to buy me things.
On my mother’s side we were allowed to take some things home, but not others. Depending on how much they cost, really. We lived out in the middle of nowhere, Still do, and we ruined everything we had running around in the woods.
On my father’s side they would just buy us stuff and drop it off on birthdays and holidays. That’s the only time we ever really saw them, so we never even had the stuff at their house..

I think all grandparents do this, so the kids will have something to play with, when they come to visit.

We did this, when our grandchildren were small. As they grew older, they were orphaned to us and we hid those toys and games and bought more, just for them. This lasted about three years. When the grandchildren went back to their mother, they took the last set of toys and games with them.

Two sets of toys and games worked for us.

My ex-MIL kept toys she’d bought for my son for when she would babysit him. When he got older, she bought computer games for him to play at her house.

The problem was she hasn’t ever been too good at interacting with my son, or having a conversation with him. And part of it was she has always wanted to have something that would attract him to come visit. She’s never had the self esteem to realize he might want to see her.

My parents buy things for my niece and nephews who stay here often that end up staying here, even if they are gifts…. because of the amount of time they spend here. It’s just easier and there is more space in our home than my sister’s apartment. They even have their own beds here for all of the times they spend the night.

In very specific circumstances (like if the kids practically live there or something) I could understand this. But if conditions are ‘normal’, it seems really weird to buy gifts for other people that must remain at the giver’s house. My grandparents certainly never did that, my kids’ grandparents don’t, and we don’t for our grandchildren. In all cases, there were toys/books/activities that were kept at the grandparents house for the kids to use, but no gifts were treated that way.

My mom buys clothes and toys for my daughter. With the toys, if my daughter wants to take them home it’s up to her. Toys go back and forth between home and “Nana’s house.” Clothes and shoes usually go back and forth, although sometimes she will put on the jacket my daughter arrived in to go home in, in order to keep the heavy duty jacket for there, for playtime. There are no hard and fast rules – it’s usually up to my daughter, who is four!