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nikipedia's avatar

Etiquette question: Would you ever enter someone else's bedroom without knocking?

Asked by nikipedia (27669points) December 31st, 2011

You are a guest in someone’s home. You are staying in a guest room, or crashing on the couch. You wake up in the morning, and go to greet your host. The host’s bedroom door is closed.

Do you let yourself in, or knock first? Is there anyone you have a relationship with that is close enough that you would feel comfortable entering without knocking (best friend of many years, sibling, parents)? Does it make a difference if your host has a partner, who is also sleeping in the bedroom behind the closed door?

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32 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

Never, never, never (unless it is a child who is 9 years old or younger.)

MissAnthrope's avatar

I would never, no. Friend or family, no matter. First of all, I don’t really want to see something I don’t want to see, you know? Second, it’s courtesy—I certainly would want someone to knock before walking in on me. I would probably even knock lightly, even if it was my SO. Privacy is privacy, regardless of relationship, and I think it could stand to be more respected.

As an aside, my mom drives me up the frippin’ WALL with this. She’ll knock, but not pause at all, and will just barge in. So you get like 2 seconds to scramble if you’re being interrupted doing something embarrassing. Hypocritically, she gets super pissy if you do the same to her. Ugh.

blueiiznh's avatar

Never. If I was a guest in their house, I would even have to have a damned good reason to knock in the first place.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Yeah, I can do that with my best friend or my partner or my children or my mom or my grandma or my aunt

Ela's avatar

Only if something detrimental was happening would I interrupt my host’s sleep. If I find myself awake first I will usually read, go for a walk or just veg until someone joins me. For me, it’s not a matter of how well or long I have known a person, it’s a matter of privacy and respect. I even knock at my children’s door before I enter.

AshLeigh's avatar

I knock on my brothers door, and he lives with me.
Just walking in is rude. I don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors, and I’d rather not find out.

judochop's avatar

I’m with some of the other jellies. The only reason to enter without knocking would, fire, zombie invasion or hiding from something that’ll harm you. Even then, unless your plan is to escape from the window it’s not a good idea. Bedrooms are sacred ground.

nikipedia's avatar

Ok, I’m glad to hear I’m not just crazy and uptight. I have had two house guests in a row do this. Why. Why. Why.

marinelife's avatar

I would knock on anyone’s door.

jca's avatar

never, except my own four year old’s door.

If a guest in someone’s home, I would probably wake up, make coffee, find a magazine or watch TV. If they still didn’t wake up I’d take a shower.

downtide's avatar

Absolutely never ever, and I wouldn’t knock either unless there was some emergency. I’d just wait for them to come out.


Never. I even instruct my own kids to knock on our bedroom if it’s closed. Etiquette applies everywhere in my opinion.

deni's avatar

I would always just wait for them to get up. Unless I needed to leave earlier than planned or had an issue with something, and in that case I’d knock.

chyna's avatar

I would never just walk in. I wait for them to get up unless it was an emergency, then I’d know and wait for them to invite me in. I wouldn’t knock as I was opening the door.

flutherother's avatar

Absolutely not, I would always knock first and I would be reluctant to even do that.

Bellatrix's avatar

No. A bedroom is a private sanctuary. I don’t even enter my children’s rooms without knocking and unless they are there. It is their private domain.

Mariah's avatar

I would never just walk in. If it was morning or night I wouldn’t even knock unless it was an emergency.

jazmina88's avatar

if the door was shut, no way.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No, not even if visiting parents or grandparents. Our family way has been to knock at the door or if the door is open, knock on door frame and verbally announce ourselves before walking up on someone.

Berserker's avatar

In that particular situation, no, unless I know it’s alright with the person. And even then, I’d rather knock.

augustlan's avatar

No way. I’ll walk in to my own bedroom without knocking, even if my husband is in there, though. He can hear me coming from a mile away (creaky wood floors), so he’s got plenty of time to get out of any embarrassing situation. ;)

I wonder if maybe your guests did knock, and you’re just a sound sleeper? It just seems so weird for a guest to walk in.

OpryLeigh's avatar

Since the day I walked in on my brother having a wank I have always knocked before entering someone’s bedroom!

Ayesha's avatar

I always knock.

Dutchess_III's avatar

(I just realized that my answer was confusing! I was answering “Do you always knock before walking into someone’s bedroom.” Kk? : )

nikipedia's avatar

@augustlan, nope, both times we were fully awake but still in bed. If you know what I mean.

bob_'s avatar

@Dutchess_III Whoa, they have doors in Kansas?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well…yah. Well, shower curtains anyway!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@bob_ & @Dutchess_III
Lots of prairie homes had no doors so it would be easier to heat and cool the rooms. Curtains and blankets were often walls that would separate a lovemaking couple from their children just a few feet away in the same room. I’ve always wondered how my family managed to have so much sex (plenty of kids) with such little privacy.

Dutchess_III's avatar

:) And THAT is why we have curtains instead of doors!

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@Dutchess_III: So it might bring good luck and lots of nookie to take the doors off the rooms… hmmn ;p

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOL! Yes. That will be our New Year’s family tradition from now on…taking the doors off of all the bedrooms!

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