Social Question

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

Why is it socially acceptable for a woman to press her anatomy on a man?

Asked by Imadethisupwithnoforethought (14669points) January 1st, 2012

I was playing amateur DJ at the New Year’s party last night.

It became a running joke all evening that women who wanted me to play a song should press their breasts up against me to get my attention.

In discussion of the evenings activities with a female jelly, she suggested that I ask the collective why women can push their breasts against men openly and in public, but men cannot rub their groins against women socially without assault charges?

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23 Answers

GoDogGo's avatar

Is it socially acceptable, I’m not so sure, sounds rather tacky to me.

KatawaGrey's avatar

I think the biggest problem is the parallel drawn between male genitalia and the female chest. I doubt it would be socially acceptable for a woman to rub her crotch against you, but it would be much more acceptable for a man to lean into a woman to rub his chest against her.

Having said that, I think it’s because women are perceived as much less of a threat to men. If I want to have sex with you and you don’t want that, you can stop me. However, if you want to have sex with me and I don’t want that, the chances are pretty good that I wouldn’t be able to stop you if you forced the matter. By bother pressing ones genitals against a woman and getting inside her personal space bubble, one is “threatening” sex.

Bellatrix's avatar

I don’t think it is socially acceptable. I remember going back many years working with a woman who used to do this to male colleagues. I think she thought it got her what she wanted. A number of them came to me and vented their annoyance with this person’s behaviour. She was young, not unattractive, but they found the experience demeaning to them as much as her I think. That rubbing her tits on them would make them fall over and do anything she wanted.

digitalimpression's avatar

Because men don’t mind (generally speaking). Women do.

Ela's avatar

I agree with @GoDogGo. I find it tacky rather than socially acceptable. I wouldn’t rub my breasts up against just any guy, but I’m a very personal person when it comes to my body all my lady bits and pieces ; )

LezboPirate's avatar

For one..groins and breasts are not the same thing. Two, I don’t think breasts are acceptable either.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@KatawaGrey pretty much has it covered. But, I’m not quite understanding the story: were these women actually pressing their breasts up against you (and did it work?), or was there a joke that if women did that to you they would successfully get their song played?

marinelife's avatar

I think it’s gross, but groin on men equals groin on women, and no women were doing that to you.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@Aethelflaed Initially it was taking a moment to get the stereo to work, and I remarked to a young lady that it would go faster if her breasts were not pushing into my back.

From there it became open season.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought So, you told a woman to stop pressing her breasts against you, and other women responded by pressing their breasts against you even more? I’m going to go ahead and say, because you were around some women who think that stuff is “ok” instead of the “totally effed up and inappropriate” that it clearly is.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@Aethelflaed, I think @digitalimpression has expressed the sentiment though.

Even when I stated, that might be a little uncool, the women at the party clearly refused to believe that a man might be offput by their actions. They assumed I was joking.

digitalimpression's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought This happened to me recently in a bar too. I was sitting with my buddies at the bar and two girls came up and started pressing things against me and putting their hands in places they shouldn’t have been. A large majority of men would absolutely love this scenario.. but there are a few of us who are instantly turned off by this slutty behavior.

Needless to say, they were shocked when I told them to go away and simply appalled when my friend did the same.

XOIIO's avatar

It’s just as innapropriate I think, but I’m not saying I won’t accept it.
And take a video and spread it around the internet to humiliate them XD

KatawaGrey's avatar

I have no idea why I stuck the word “bother” randomly into that last sentence. I wasn’t even that tired when I did it…

Blueroses's avatar

There are some occasions that some women feel they have a license to release the inner-slut. Mardi Gras, Halloween and New Year’s Eve. Whether it’s a response to daily repression or you want to blame it on the alcohol, it’s still tacky. I get tense when anybody touches me uninvited with any part of their anatomy.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

The more I think about this, the more often I recall it happening to my back, when I was not expecting it. Thank you ladies, I now appreciate a little of the threatening nature of what is going on, and when a woman does this, why it most often come from behind.

AnonymousWoman's avatar

Those women probably view it as what guys want. If more men stood up to them like you did, maybe they’d stop.

digitalimpression's avatar

@Blueroses I wish those women could release their inner class. Sort of like the Schlitz woman.

josie's avatar

Who cares.

I really do not need to rub my crotch against a woman in public. I sort of hope it might happen occasionally in private, but that is another story.

If she wants to rub her tits against me, I guess that’s OK. I don’t get as big of a kick out of it as they must think I do when they do it, but I also think it makes some women feel important.

Nothing wrong with making people feel important.

XOIIO's avatar

@josie You seem pretty acepting, would you be okay with this?

josie's avatar

@XOIIO That is probably where I would draw the line. I have my reputation the consider after all.

Ela's avatar

<baby barfs> ... i so did not need to see that LoL

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

For all of the BS about men and women being equal we are not made equal. That is the underlying premise to Having said that, I think it’s because women are perceived as much less of a threat to men. If I want to have sex with you and you don’t want that, you can stop me. However, if you want to have sex with me and I don’t want that, the chances are pretty good that I wouldn’t be able to stop you if you forced the matter. @KatawaGrey Women are seen as less of a sexual threat because culturally women are seen as not desiring sex or having more control over sex than men. Therefore, her seemingly aggressive sexual actions are not really, but if a guy did it, it is really an aggressive sexual action, and given a man can more times than not, by brute strength, have sex with a woman outside her will, thought there are women I would never try that with if one wanted to have testacies left when he got done. Also, some guys do not find the attention, (if she is half way good-looking) a bad thing, might even lead to something more, at least in the mind of the man; serves a good fantasy.

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