General Question

the_overthinker's avatar

I'm confused, what shall I do?

Asked by the_overthinker (1527points) January 5th, 2012

Okay, as you may notice, my previous question somewhat relates to this.

But I must elaborate. To be frank, I’m confused. I don’t know what I want. And my previous question seems to not ask what I intended.

Most of the time subconsciously, little things that are said or done (such as body language) may suggest interest as more than friends (depending on how they interpret it.) I am very friendly and happy. Usually I just try to be friendly, and keep people in the friend zone, because I’m not sure if I want anything more.

Seems like most of the time, I’m just not sure. Apparently I was oblivious, but my friends have pointed out that another friend (let’s call him Abbel) have suggested that Abbel is interested in me… And after a long time.. I’ve also started to realize he is giving hints.

I don’t know what to do, as I love hanging out with him, I’m not sure if I want to give off the wrong message.. But I’m not totally sure I want to push him away either.

Shall I continue just being a good friend? Shoving off any sort of topics that may suggest being anything more than friends, and wait until I know what I want?

Ultimately, I don’t know if I’ll ever know what I want. I think I’m just afraid. And for what it may matter, I am a college student, with little experience in relationships and dating.

Thanks for listening to my nonsense.

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2 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

Spend some time alone with him doing something casual and non-threatening, like having coffee or going for a walk. See how things develop.

Or if you don’t feel ready for a relationship and dating, hang out with him in a friendly manner. Time may help you feel clearer or more ready to take a very small risk.

You are not very clear. Your writing says that “my friends have pointed out that another friend (let’s call him Abbel) have suggested that Abbel’s interested in me.”

That means “Abbel is suggesting that Abbel is interested in you.”

zenvelo's avatar

So continue being friends with Abbel, just don’t lead him on. Don’t kiss him unless you’re in a group and everyone is kissing goodbye. Hug him as a greeting or departure, but keep it as a friend, don’t hug him more than that.

There’s nothing that says you need to be in a relationship at this time. If and when you do want that, you’ll be fine.

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